Britney, her biggest fan, and reality television

By now, the entire world has heard about Britney Spears' disastrous appearance on the Video Music Awards. Although I usually go out of my way to never watch such programs, and I'm not a Britney Spears fan (I couldn't even tell you what she sings, except "Oops I Did It Again", and the only reason I know that one is because it turned into a joke) I actually tuned in to see this one. That was mostly because rumor had it that Britney had been practicing magic tricks with Criss Angel ("Mindfreak") and she was supposed to disappear then reappear several times during her act.

Also, she was the opening act, so I didn't have to watch a bunch of stupid crap just waiting to see what I wanted to see.

Frankly, she seemed like she was drunk enough to fall over at any second. There were no magic acts, no anything worth watching. I actually felt sorry for her, especially when Sarah Silverman made fun of her immediately afterward. Silverman called Britney's two children "mistakes" on national television.

Now, that's just wrong.

Anyway, for anyone who didn't see Britney's performance, here it is:



Hmmmm ...... not surprisingly, a lot of people made a lot of very unkind comments about Britney Spears after seeing that performance. As for me, I was just dumbstruck.

Anyhoo, some guy named Chris Crocker is apparently a Britney uber-fan (to the point that he does videos of himself performing Britney songs) and he was terribly upset at all the bad press Britney was getting. See for yourself:



Unfortunately - and this should come as no surprise to anyone - Chris Crocker has been contracted to do his own reality show. When I heard that, I was dumbstruck yet again. What makes anybody think we want to see this freak on television every week? What makes anybody think we care enough about him to watch?

Lawyers Gone Wild

From The Houston Chronicle:

Perry ''Bit" Whatley, 84, a former Baytown refinery worker and lifelong Texan, spent his final days in self-imposed exile, a fugitive from a more than two-year-old fight with the state probate courts.

Whatley was living in Arizona when he died, but it was not where he wanted to be, away from his home, cut off from his family and his $2 million fortune.

It was an unlikely, but perhaps unavoidable, end for the retired machinist, a frugal man who had wisely invested his savings in Humble Oil, which became Exxon, then Exxon Mobil. The investment made him a millionaire nearly twice over, and yet for 20 years after his retirement he lived a simple life in a simple Baytown bungalow until last summer, when he fled the jurisdiction of Harris County Probate Court.

Whatley died Feb. 14 in a rental home in Tempe in the company of his longtime caregiver, Dawn Johnson Whatley, 63, whom he married in a bedside ceremony in January 2005. His wife was his sole heir.

The Whatleys, both seniors with serious health problems, abandoned their own home and went into hiding together last summer. They left to avoid a hearing and, later, orders issued by Probate Judge Mike Wood that declared Whatley incapacitated, took away control of his assets and could have forced him into a nursing home.

Perry Whatley's sad saga started out as a dispute between his niece and his new wife, two people who professed devotion to him and who also sought control over his fortune, his health care and his basic life decisions.

But the fight, taken to court in April 2005 by Whatley's niece, morphed quickly into a twisted legal free-for-all and a near-infamous example for critics who claim Texas probate courts have run amok. It also underscores how worries over a loved one — seemingly simple at first — can escalate into a costly and chaotic legal conflict.

It took decades for Whatley to make his money.

In less than two years, nearly $1.5 million has been spent on legal bills and court-authorized expenses for his probate case and related litigation, based on case documents.

And though Whatley is gone, the fight over what remains of his money is far from over.

Read the rest of this disturbing story at The Houston Chronicle.

Paris Hilton's Trash (but now those three words can be taken two ways)

Considering that I regularly use the word "trash" to describe ultra-skanky heiress Paris Hilton, I found this a little amusing. From Yahoo News:

LOS ANGELES - So, how much would you pay for an empty dog-food can if you thought it was snatched from Paris Hilton's trash? So far the answer is $0.

But the people from HollywoodStarTrash.com are counting on someone forking over at least $40. That's the starting bid listed on eBay for the can that once contained a helping of Party Animal organic gourmet. Bidding closes Sunday.

As of midday Monday, the can had no takers. Nor had anyone put down a bid for the used toothbrush, the Hilton fan letter or the Hilton-autographed postcard also said to have been plucked from the hotel heiress' garbage.

According to a video placed on hollywoodstartrash.com, a guy wearing an Uncle Sam mask tracked down Hilton's address from a map to movie stars' homes. Then he and a colleague, who remains off camera, sneaked into Hilton's neighborhood before dawn on a recent Thursday and absconded with six bags of garbage.

"We discovered that Paris Hilton throws out a well organized and quite neat bag of trash, save for a few Cobb salads and banana peels," says one of the two.

Neither immediately responded to an e-mailed request to elaborate.

Their Web site indicated that as time goes by they'll be sifting through other celebrities' trash and offering it for sale. A man identified as a lawyer, who appears on the video, tells them their actions are legal as long as they wait for celebrities to put their trash cans out on the street and don't trespass on their property.

As to whether the trash is really Hilton's, they place the following statement on each of the eBay offerings: "We guarantee that each item comes from the trash bins outside the celebrity's home!"

And who wouldn't believe a guy in an Uncle Sam mask?

Outside the initial amusement factor, though, I find this more than a little disturbing. The website doesn't stop at empty dog food cans and used toothbrushes. It also has photos of prescription bottles and, although they have "censored" over identifying information, it's not at all hard to figure out what those bottles contained. I also find it disturbing that these folks actually believe there's somebody out there, so obsessed with Paris Hilton, that they'd pay for her used tissues and Q-tips. That's beyond weird. It's sick.

DC Judge Who Sued Drycleaner for $54 Million Lost Not Only His Case, But His Mind, Too

By now, most people have probably heard about the case involving Roy Pearson, a Washington, DC administrative law judge, who sued a dry cleaner for $54 million, over a missing pair of pants. Today, a judge ruled that he not only doesn't get a dime from the dry cleaner, he will also have to pay the dry cleaners' legal fees and costs.

Much more interesting, however, is what happened in the courtroom. Here's a description from ABC News:

The trial proved nearly as dramatic -- and unusual -- as the plaintiff's claims. On the witness stand, Pearson broke down in tears and had to take a break from his testimony because he became too emotional while questioning himself about his experience with the missing trousers.

In his opening statement, Pearson came out swinging, telling the court, "Never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices."

Repeatedly referring to himself as "we," Pearson sought to present himself as the leader of a class of tens of thousands, if not a half million people, consisting of local residents he believes are at risk of falling for such insidious business practices as posting "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service" signs. Pearson said at one point in court filings that he planned to call 63 witnesses.

"Mr. Pearson, you are not 'we.' You are an 'I,'" Bartnoff told him.

As Pearson explained the details of the missing pants, he struggled to get through his hour and a half of testimony, most of which concerned his credentials and his background.

He became visibly emotional when he reached the point in the story in which he recounted a confrontation with Soo Chung from the dry cleaning store.

"These are not my pants," he testified, and said he told her, "I have in my adult life, with one exception, never worn pants with cuffs."

Pearson testified that Chung insisted, saying, "These are your pants."

Pearson then rushed from the courtroom, overcome with emotion.

From that description, I think it's pretty obvious that Pearson is more than a little off in the head. I'm not saying the pants presented were his pants, because I've had a lot of dry cleaners screw up on my stuff so it's very possible they made a mistake; but at the same time, $54 million over a lost pair of pants? Give me a frickin' break.

Obviously, it was a frivolous lawsuit which should never have been brought in the first place (after all, the Chungs at one point offered him $4800, which is more than enough to make up for his lost pants). It has damaged the Chungs' reputation, their credit rating, and generally destroyed their lives. One of the Chungs said that they just want to go back to Korea after this fiasco.

So I think paying the Chungs' attorney fees and court costs just is not enough. Allow them to amend their counterclaim, if necessary, then grant them major damages for what they've endured. That not only will be a step in the direction of making this right again for a couple of hardworking immigrants who have suffered greatly at the hands of a man who intentionally abused our system of justice, it will also serve to warn others who might be tempted to do something that stupid.

Then again, I think you really need to be crazy in order to think you're entitled to that much money just because your pants were lost at the drycleaner's, so even that probably won't serve as a deterrent to other crazies who think something that small is worth zillions.

Mainstream News Finally Covers Third-Party Presidential Candidates (Sort Of)

In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut Jr, "There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president." The story below from ABC News illustrates Vonnegut's point very well ....

He calls himself a "vampyre" (the Romanian spelling, he says) and claims he's been drinking blood since age five. He also wants to be your next president.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey is running unchallenged for the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party 2008 presidential nomination.

Most Americans would have a hard time naming the 19 more-or-less official candidates, but, in fact, there are hundreds of Americans running on third-party and independent tickets.

Sharkey is running on an "impale criminals" platform.

Gene Amondson, a preacher, supports prohibition.

"Average Joe" Schriner is making his third bid as a, simply put, average Joe.

"If you count those who run in the primary, and those who are write-in candidates and are actually making an effort to run, you have 200 or 300 candidates each cycle," said Ron Gunzburger, the publisher of Politics1.com, a site that tracks both the mainstream and lesser-known contenders.

Even a campaign some would call a joke takes a lot of work. These candidates file Federal Elections Commission paperwork, petition to get on ballots, and traverse the nation trying to drum up support. And for their months of effort they will not even come close to one percent of the vote.

Gunzburger has a few theories on why the outsiders run.

"I think some of them have sincere messages and contribute to the debate," he said. "Some of them are the class clowns who miss the attention since high school finished. And some are running because mom told them they are special, and they believe it still."

Sharkey claims he's "in it to win it." Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., used the same line in her announcement, but Sharkey is willing to share. He said he would welcome Mrs. Clinton as a running mate.

"I expect to win because I think the American people are tired of living in fear," Sharkey said. "America has a chance to put somebody in office that people will fear."

He recognizes his downfalls -- being a Satanist for one -- but he thinks the American people will respond to him "once they get past the fact that I'm a non-Christian. Actually I'm anti-Christian."

At the other end of the spectrum is mild-mannered preacher Gene Amondson. He ran for president in 2004 as part of the Prohibition Party, which has been fielding presidential candidates for 135 years.

"Third party people are dreamers, but we yell out there to make a point," he said. "I speak all over the country on why prohibition was America's best 13 years."

Amondson said his party's membership has dwindled to about 150 people and, "most of them don't even have a pulse," but his goal is simply to get as much media as he did in his last race.

Others have similarly modest goals, like getting on the ballot. That means gathering large numbers of signatures and filing mountains of paperwork.

Although this is his third run, "Average Joe" Schriner expects to get his name on just one ballot -- Ohio. In the past, he's settled on being "an official write-in candidate."

Amondson was on the ballot in two states in 2004 -- Colorado and Louisiana, which helped him get a few thousand votes nationwide. This time, he hopes to see his name in print in five states.

Ever the optimist, Sharkey plans to have offices in all 50 states and plans to see his name on all 50 ballots.

There is one outsider in this race who could have a real chance, if he runs. This week New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg left the Republican Party, fanning rumors that he is planning an independent presidential bid. He denies it, but he is getting lots of press attention anyway.

That is not true of the other outsiders. But Gail Parker, a grandmother running for the Green Party nomination, doesn't mind.

"Participating is winning," she said.

Debt Free Organic Scam Targets Farmers

Debt Free Organic claims to be able to help farmers and ranchers get out of debt. Sounds great, huh?

Problem is, it's just another scam.

The documentation is very poorly written, but I'll explain basically what it claims.

According to Debt Free Organic, you can sponsor a farmer (or, if you are a farmer, you can apply for funds) by sending money to help with the paperwork. That money is described as a "donation" and, they claim, is completely voluntary. However, they also say that they reserve the right to not process any requests which do not attach money (cash only), so in reality, the "donation" is not voluntary.

It's pretty interesting reading, if you can stomach it and don't get a headache halfway through (or sooner), because they claim the evil government is withholding funds placed in trust to help farmers and ranchers escape debt.

In truth, there is no such trust fund, and never was. This is actually a take on the old Omega Farm Claims scam, which made very similar claims and stole many millions and left many farmers either bankrupt or in foreclosure; others lost their land, because they believed that their debts were going to be paid by a government trust.

The version of the scam I received included an email. The email you receive may be quite different, or it may be the same.

If you can't stand to read it (although I strongly suggest you do so), at least peruse it, so you will know, if you get this in your email, that it's a scam. If you receive this scam, forward it immediately to your state attorney general's office before they target others in your area. You can safely ignore their warnings about how government agencies can't release information. That's just their way to try to scare people away from reporting them to the authorities. (Remember, they claim the government has a plan to help farmers become debt free, so it makes no sense to say you can't send what you received to the government .... well, except for their weird conspiracy theory crap. The government is not trying to keep farmers from getting the money set aside to make them debt free, because there is no such government program and never was).

The state of Maine has already issued a cease and desist order against Debt Free Organic. Other states, I'm quite sure, will follow; but that doesn't mean the scam won't continue. So be very, very careful. If you receive it, it might be a good idea to send it to others on your contact list, along with a warning, since once you receive it, it's just a matter of time until others receive it as well.

To: "JOHN BILLINGSLEY"
From: Carol Billingsley
Subject: (PLEASE READ) DFO (DEBT FREE ORGANIC) I WANT YOU TO DEFINITELY TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PROGRAM OF DR EICKE.

HI FRIENDS, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I COME ACROSS SOMETHING THAT I WANT YOU TO TAKE A SERIOUS LOOK AT. THE COST OF ELIMIATING ALL OF YOUR DEBTS ( SECURED AND UNSECURED) IS ZERO DOLLARS, BUT THE COST OF SHARING THESE WITH A DONATION OF UP TO $1,000 IS VERY REWARDING. I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO A 15 MINUTE RECORDING BY DR EICHE. THE NUMBER IS 512-505-6816 YOUR LISTENING MAY CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL OUT LOOK ON LIFE FOREVER.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT EVERY DEBT THAT YOU HAVE: SECURE AND UNSECURE WOULD BE PAID SUCH AS: FIRST SECOND, & THIRD MORGAGES , VEHICLE AND FARM EQUIPMENT, PERSONAL LOANS, CREDIT CARDS, STUDENT LOANS, INSURANCE LOANS, ANY OTHER SUCH LOAN. WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN SHARING THIS INFORMATION WITH OTHERS? IF YOU WOULD WANT MORE INFORMATION PLEASE GET BACK TO ME.

JOHN BILLINGSLEY 804-XXX-XXXX

Below are the various pieces of scam documentation. The first thing you will notice, when placed into proper order here, is that there are warnings about allowing government sources to see it. Whenever you see that, you know it is a scam, because if they were actually legitimate, they wouldn't worry about the government seeing it.

They claim that the government is withholding the (as I previously stated, nonexistent) trusts, mention a "Petition for Redress of Grievances" (that's a dog that won't hunt, since all that really means is contacting your Congressman) and they throw some government conspiracy theory crap in also.

THE INFORMATION YOU ARE RECEIVING IS BY INVITATION ONLY

UNAUTHORIZED DISCLOSURE PROHIBITED
THE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK,
THE OFFICES OF THE ATTORNEYS GENERAL
AND
FEDERAL/STATE REGULATORY AGENCIES
ARE NOT AUTHORIZED
TO RELEASE INFORMATION
WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT
OF
DEBT FREE ORGANIC

INFORMATION WILL BE RELEASED
BY
DFO INFORMATION OFFICES
ON A
“NEED TO KNOW”
BASIS

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

--- FIRST AMENDMENT TO THE NATIONAL CONSTITUTION 
Doc. No. 1.04-D DISCLAIMER DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813 - 2 -

The American Farm & Ranch Autobiography
In Five Short Chapters.

Chapter 1: I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is still there. I still fall in... it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out mmediately.

Chapter 4: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5: I walk down another street.

by Portia Nelson

Which chapter are you living in now?
How long do you plan to stay there?
When do you plan to turn to the next chapter?

Doc. No. 1.04-D DISCLAIMER DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813 - 3 -

DEBT FREE ORGANIC
An Assembly to Petition For Redress of Grievance
In 1988, a number of Private Money Trusts were formed as Pure Sovereign Trusts with full powers of private banking. In part, these private banking Trusts were formed as a vehicle to bring debt-free financing to the farmers and ranchers of North America. It is believed that by restoring the agricultural economy, the general economy will respond and flourish with inherent social, spiritual, educational and family values. Because of the International Monetary Fund, The World Bank, the Federal Reserve Banks and their associated racketeering organizations operating as fraudulent lending institutions acting to prevent DEBT FREE ORGANIC from bringing real aid to the American Agriculture economy, the Trusts now hold full documented funds accounts with direct clearing arrangements for security networking and secure placement of funds through Integrity Teams.

Many banksters and criminals, both domestic and international, have tried to stop these transactions, using threats, bribery, intimidation, murder, illegal seizure (theft) of records and accounts/funds, etc., BUT THE LAW STILL REQUIRES these transactions to go through.

The U.S. Attorney General and bonafide law enforcement officers are still required by Law to obey the mandate of the American People.

THE NEXT STEP in restoring our agriculture to debt-free organic is to have an assembly of INTERESTED and WORKING People who, whether personally farming/ranching or not, will dedicate time and energy to this effort.

Opportunities are open for you in the positions of:
LEADERS, SPONSORS & PATRONS

LEADERS
LEADERS are selected by your various local, area, state and regional assemblies and/or Integrity Teams to coordinate communication & data and to assist in the distribution of funds. These positions are voluntary, and require men and women of integrity who are willing to personally step up into a higher financial opportunity to LIVE DEBT FREE, and more importantly: are willing to help their friends and neighbors step up with them.
GET OUT OF DEBT.
STAY OUT OF DEBT.
LIVE DEBT FREE.

SPONSORS
The Trusts will assign up to $2,500,000.00 to each sponsored farmer and rancher to cancel (pay off completely) ag debt existing before May 08th, 2006. SPONSORS find farmers and ranchers who have existing debt, then “sponsor” them by inviting them to DEBT FREE ORGANIC.

Special note: Anyone who has been forced off their land and who wants to get back into farming or ranching – be encouraged. Be a Special Sponsor and move in the direction of getting back into prosperous family agriculture with DEBT FREE ORGANIC.

PATRONS
PATRONS are non-farm interested people who want to sponsor farmers and ranchers. A Patron may be an organization, or an individual. A Sponsor may refer Patrons to DFO, and work with them to sponsor farmers and ranchers, complete all the necessary paperwork, etc. to assist the cancellation of the debts on our agricultural society. In addition to the full debt pay-offs arranged for the farmers/ranchers, the Sponsor/Patron is assigned up to $100,000.00* split equally for personally assisting their sponsored farmers and ranchers in eliminating debt from their ag operations.

“A WORKER IS WORTHY OF HIS/HER HIRE”
(for Sponsors/Patrons ONLY)
1st farmer/rancher sponsored $ 50,000.00*
2nd farmer/rancher sponsored $ 80,000.00*
3rd and each thereafter $100,000.00*

*NOTE: The amount assigned is split 50/50 between you (SPONSOR/PATRON) and the Sponsor/Patron who referred you to DFO. The Trusts reserve the right to change these amounts or this distribution plan. The Trusts will not be responsible for the processing costs to assign these funds to the farmers, ranchers, Sponsors and/or Patrons, and the Trusts reserve the right to decline to make assignments in some circumstances. See DISCLAIMER for limitations

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WITHOUT PREJUDICE.
DFO
Doc. No. 1.04-D DISCLAIMER DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813 - 4 -

Private Trusts DISCLAIMER Debt Free Organic

IF YOU EAT, YOU ARE INVOLVED IN AGRICULTURE
DFO estimates the cost is $750 to $1000 to process all necessary data and files to issue funds assignments PER FARM/RANCH.

There is no free lunch.

The Trusts do not have a policy of charging “up-front” fees, nor will the Trusts be responsible for the processing costs incurred by DFO. To resolve this economic question, Sponsors, Patrons and their sponsored farmers and ranchers can decide how much is a fair amount to send as a token of appreciation to cover these costs, from $0 to $1000. The following chart will be used as a guide to determine assignment of referral funds to SPONSORS and PATRONS:

You send: Trusts assign:
$-0- to $99 . . . . . . . . . . 0 to 10%*
$100 to $199 . . . . . . . . . . . . 10%*
$200 to $299 . . . . . . . . . . . . 20%*
$300 to $399 . . . . . . . . . . . . 30%*
$400 to $499 . . . . . . . . . . . . 40%*
$500 to $599 . . . . . . . . . . . . 50%*
$600 to $699 . . . . . . . . . . . . 60%*
$700 to $799 . . . . . . . . . . . . 70%*
$800 to $899 . . . . . . . . . . . . 80%*
$900 to $949 . . . . . . . . . . . . 90%*
$950 to $1000. . . . . . . . . . . . 100%*
*% of Sliding Scale amount to be assigned to Sponsors/Patrons. THIS GUIDE DOES NOT AFFECT AG DEBT PAY-OFF AMOUNTS.

ADDITIONALLY,
As Sponsor or Patron, if necessary you will be called upon to communicate with Federal & State Executive, Legislative, Judicial and Administrative offices as a powerful team to accomplish the removal of the outrageous debt from our agriculture. Due to the present deathgrip held on America by inner circle bankers who control our courts, legislatures and law enforcement mechanisms, there is no express nor implied guarantee nor representation that any funds will be disbursed by government offices and/or banks where these trust funds may be placed. Such failure or refusal to disburse would be grounds for a PETITION FOR REDRESS OF GRIEVANCE of the highest magnitude and power.

Assignments of funds will be made strictly on a “first-come-first-served” basis, with limitations stated below, and assignments will be made to Sponsors and Patrons at the same time they are made to their sponsored farmer/rancher. Funds assignments are to be distributed by independent auditors under the oversight of local Integrity Teams. DFO and the TRUSTS reserve the right to NOT PROCESS applications which are received without funds for processing them. You may sponsor as many farmers/ranchers as you can appropriately assist. Each farmer/rancher may be sponsored only ONCE, but sponsored spouses are considered as a separate farmer/rancher for debt pay-offs. Spouses may sponsor each other AFTER the first spouse has sponsored another farmer/rancher, but spouses may not be a Patron to each other in sponsoring another farmer/rancher. Patrons cannot sponsor Patrons. Organizations may serve as a Patron, provided that (1) the organization is invited to DFO by a SPONSOR ONLY, (2) the organization sponsors all its selected farms/ranches at one time, and (3) the organization agrees with its Sponsor that the funds assigned to the organization will be split 50/50 with its Sponsor. By participating in this plan, you acknowledge that DFO and the Trusts are working on a best efforts basis, and that you waive all claims against the Trusts, their officers, agents and designees for non-performance or malfeasance by any and all banks and/or government agents and/or employees regarding the funds and distribution plan as presented by DFO. All participants (1) agree to utilize only information, documents, audio and video media provided by or approved in writing by the Trusts, (2) agree to not make claims which have not been previously approved in writing by the Trusts, (3) agree to hold the Trusts harmless for all information/claims disseminated which is/are not provided by nor approved in writing by the Trusts, (4) agree that Sponsors and Patrons are solely and exclusively independent workers and are not representatives nor agents of the Trusts nor DFO, and (5) agree that DFO is an INFORMATION TRUST authorized to assist and enforce the DFO distribution & communication plans for Redress of Grievances.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Doc. No. 1.04-D DISCLAIMER DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813 - 5 -

Self-Promises Which Power the Vision

FAITH I will work and live fully confident in my way before the Lord, looking always for the unseen. I will live confidently knowing that man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. –Job 13:15; Proverbs 16:9

DECISIONS I will go for it wholeheart with loyalty and discipline --or--
turn my back on it and walk away.

FORMULA #1: D x V x B x P > C

Dissatisfaction x Vision x Believe x Practical steps must be
greater than the Cost

FORMULA #2: ABC = Assess + Believe + Commit

ACTION I will take one action step each day toward my own personal

Happy – Healthy – Wellthy Lifestyle Vision and Objectives

INTELLECTUAL I will be a passionate student of success and personal significance for life.

CAN-DO I absolutely believe I can do all things which God set out for me to do in the network.

LEADERSHIP I will help others see their own value and potential, discovering what I care about & what I value. I will go first. I will be.

YELLOW OUR PROMISE TO YOU: (the path to the “zone”)
BRICK --- if you will change, everything will change for you
ROAD --- what is necessary to change a person is to
TO change their perception about themselves

PIE ala MODE = finding the right QUEST.I.ON

Doc. No. 1.04-D DISCLAIMER DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813 - 6 -

How Poor People Live

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son.

So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are.”

Too many times, we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. And what is a prized possession may pale in comparison to true wealth. It is all based on one’s perspective.

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have instead of worrying about wanting more. Take joy and appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
(author unknown)

Here are the terms and conditions, which are sometimes sent in reverse order (page two first, page one second). According to these terms and conditions, if you send them money you can never get it back whether you ever seen anything from it or not. You also waive the statutory contract-cancellation period, which is really meaningless since you can't get your money back after you send it. After all, scammers don't make refunds.

TERMS & CONDITIONS – large print Page 1 of 2

Doc. No. T&C 1.02 DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813
APPLICATION AND AGREEMENT TERMS AND CONDITIONS

In accordance with the terms and conditions contained in this Application and Agreement, I hereby submit my Application to become a Sponsor or Patron with DEBT FREE ORGANIC (hereinafter “DFO”) and hereby state and agree as follows:

1. I am of legal age to enter into this agreement. This application and Agreement becomes effective the date it is received and accepted on form by the DFO Regional Coordinator, with Sponsor/Patron and Certifying signatures affixed.

2. Upon DFO acceptance of this Application, I understand that I will be eligible to participate in DFO communications and distribution plans and to receive funds assignments in connections with my direct or indirect sponsorship of farmers and ranchers for cancellation of their agricultural debts, in accordance with DFO Plans and communications.

3. As a Sponsor or Patron, I am an independent worker, not an agent, employee nor fanchisee of DFO nor its affiliates. I will not be treated as an employee with respect to such services, for federal nor state tax purposes. I understand that I am not required by DFO to enter into a commercial agreement with any state nor federal agency in order to participate as a Sponsor or Patron.

4. I understand and agree that the Trusts respectively assume full responsibility for distribution of funds assignments of up to $2,500,000.00 for each farmer/rancher I sponsor, to cancel their agricultural debts, and I agree to certify as true, correct and complete the information upon which the Trusts will rely in making their decisions to assign such funds. I understand and agree that my consideration will consist solely of funds assignments in exchange for my services of assisting my directly or indirectly sponsored farmers/ranchers to cancel their agricultural debts. I am not aware of any revenue taxable activity included in such services, and I will notify DFO in writing in advance before I participate in any revenue taxable activity in connection with this Application and Agreement.

5. I understand that I am not required to make any purchase nor payment in order to become or participate as a Sponsor or Patron. I understand that any funds I provide for processing costs are entirely at my discretion and option. I UNCONDITIONALLY WAIVE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS/REQUESTS FOR REFUND REGARDING ANY AND ALL FUNDS I CHOOSE TO REMIT FOR PROCESSING DATA AND FILES. My certified Application and Agreement shall serve as receipt for such funds donated in cash to DFO (no checks).

6. I understand and agree that any amount assigned to me for my services in assisting a farmer or rancher I personally sponsor will be assigned to me OR IN TRUST as follows: Fifty percent (50%) will be assigned to me, and Fifty percent (50%) will be assigned to the eligible Sponsor/Patron who Certified me to DFO. I will not from said funds pay, reimburse, gift nor otherwise recompensate anyone directly or indirectly for their participation in any DFO communication/distribution plan.

7. I understand that no Attorney General or regulatory authority ever endorses or approves any communication, distribution or compensation plan, and I will not make any such claims of endorsement/approval to others. Failure to comply will result in my immediate termination as Sponsor/Patron.

8. I understand and agree that my work in assisting any directly or indirectly sponsored farmer/rancher does not create nor serve as basis for any claim against DFO nor any Trust nor its/their affiliates. I acknowledge that DFO is an Assembly for Petition for Redress of Grievance. I acknowledge that DFO and the Trusts make no express nor implied guarantee nor representation that funds will be disbursed by the government offices holding any trust funds. I acknowledge that DFO and its affiliates are working on a best efforts basis, and I unconditionally waive all claims against DFO, the Trusts and affiliates, its/their officers, agents and designees, for nonperformance or malfeasance by any and all banks and/or government agents/employees regarding the funds and distribution plan as presented.

9. I agree to utilize only such information, documents, audio and video media which have been provided by or approved in writing by DFO and/or the Trusts. I agree to not engage in advertising of any kind whatsoever.

10. I agree to represent the DFO Plans and information fairly and completely, emphasizing that no purchase of goods or services are required at any level, that no recruitment fee can be derived from the mere act of referring, Certifying or sponsoring anyone, and that no earnings are guaranteed from participating in the DFO Plans. I agree that I will not make any representations about actual potential or expected earnings from participation as a Sponsor/Patron.

11. I understand that as a Sponsor/Patron, I am not guaranteed any income, nor am I assured any profit or success. I further certify that neither DFO, its affiliates nor the person who Certified me to DFO, have made any claims of guaranteed earnings or anticipated earnings that might result from my efforts as a Sponsor or Patron.

12. I agree to train and assist all Sponsor and Patrons I personally Certify to DFO.

13. I understand and agree that DFO and its affiliates, in order to maintain a viable communication and distribution system, may make modifications in its/their plans, literature and structure. I unconditionally agree to be bound by such changes upon notification to me through official DFO literature/communication.

14. I understand that the acceptance of this Application does not constitute the sale of a franchise nor a distributorship nor any “business opportunity”, and that there are no exclusive territories granted to anyone, and that no franchise fees have been paid, nor am I acquiring any interest in a security by the acceptance of this Agreement. I understand and agree that this Application does not involve nor trigger any commercial agreement with any federal nor state instrumentality.

15. I understand and agree that because of the personal nature of this Agreement and the opportunities it provides, it may not be transferred or otherwise assigned without the prior written consent of DFO. I understand and agree that either party to this agreement may terminate this Agreement by giving notice to the other party in writing. I WAIVE ALL STATUTORY RIGHTS TO CANCEL THIS APPLICATION WITHIN A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME (USUALLY THREE DAYS) AND FURTHER WAIVE STATUTORY NOTICE OF CANCELLATION, AND ADOPT INSTEAD THIS CLAUSE GUARANTEEING UNLIMITED RIGHT TO TERMINATE. This Application and Agreement is totally PRIVATE and can only be construed by the trustees of DFO, and not by any court, legislative, executive nor administrative officer(s). This agreement shall not be construed as any act contrary to any APPLICABLE law. If any provision of this Agreement shall be held invalid or otherwise unenforceable, the remainder provisions of this Agreement shall remain in full force and effect as the express will of the parties. In event of any dispute, both parties unconditionally agree and consent to resolution by arbitration panel, and agree to abide by the decisions of the arbitration panel. This Agreement shall remain in effect until terminated.

16. I understand and agree that this Application and Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties hereto. I have read this Agreement and I acknowledge receiving a copy hereof, and I agree to abide by and be bound by the terms contained herein.

17. The Sponsor/Patron who introduced me to DFO Certifies with his/her signature that he/she personally knows me and he/she disclosed all the above terms and conditions to me, and that I acknowledged same to him/her.

Doc. No. T&C 1.02 DFO-Pre.004 ©2006 LWT Control 813

Here is the application, which victims are supposed to fill out in order to get money. Note that you're giving them information that can result in identity theft:

D E B T F R E E ORGANIC Sponsor / Patron Pre-Work Application & Agreement
File ID No. __________________
Local Office #
Please TYPE or PRINT LEGIBLY! Incomplete or altered applications will be returned.

NEW SPONSOR / PATRON INFORMATION:
[ ] I do or did own/operate a farm or ranch. Please accept my application as a new SPONSOR.
[ ] attached is my request for assignments of funds to pay off my ag debt.
[ ] I do NOT own/operate a farm/ranch. Please accept my application as a new PATRON.
[ ] Mr. Area Code + HOME Telephone
[ ] Mrs.
[ ] Ms. __________________________ (__) __________
LAST Name FIRST Name
Area Code + OFFICE Telephone FAX? [ ]
__________________________________ (__) __________
Street Address (no P.O. Box)
Area Code + CELL PHONE(s)
__________________________________ (__) __________
City – State – ZIP / Postal Code
Email: _________________________________

NOTE: No one has to sponsor anyone to qualify for debt payoff. But you sure miss blessings!

THE PERSON WHO INTRODUCED ME TO DEBT FREE ORGANIC IS:
LAST Name, First, Middle Initial File ID No.
__________________________ ________
Date: ________,___ TIME: _:__ am/pm

I UNDERSTAND THAT NO PURCHASE NOR PAYMENT IS REQUIRED TO BECOME OR REMAIN A SPONSOR OR PATRON. A PARTICIPANT IN THIS DISTRIBUTION AND COMMUNICATION PLAN HAS THE RIGHT TO CANCEL AT ANY TIME, REGARDLESS OF REASON. CANCELLATION MUST BE SUBMITTED IN WRITING TO YOUR STATE COORDINATOR. I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS PRINTED ON THE BACK OF THIS FORM. I AGREE TO ABIDE BY THE POLICIES AND PROCEDURES OF DEBT FREE ORGANIC.

SIGN Signature of New Sponsor/Patron
TODAY’S DATE:
SIGN Certification of Person who introduced this new Sponsor/Patron File ID No.:
TODAY’S DATE:

NOTE: Only pre-numbered applications may be used. These applications are available from your Local office through your State or Area Coordinator ONLY. COMPLETE AND PRESENT THIS APPLICATION TO YOUR LOCAL OFFICE ONLY. Attach request for funds assignment to this form. Complete Checklist.

White Original---Regional Coordinator MAKE COPIES FOR YOUR RECORDS

Page - 2 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct __ : __

APPLICATION AND AGREEMENT TERMS AND CONDITIONS
In accordance with the terms and conditions contained in this Application and Agreement, I hereby submit my Application to become a Sponsor or Patron with DEBT FREE ORGANIC (hereinafter “DFO”) and hereby state and agree as follows:

1. I am of legal age to enter into this agreement. This Application and Agreement becomes effective the date it is received and accepted on form by the DFO Regional Coordinator, with Sponsor/Patron and Certifying signatures affixed.

2. Upon DFO acceptance of this Application, I understand that I will be eligible to participate in DFO communications and distribution plans and to receive funds assignments PLUS help by direct or indirect sponsorship of farmers and ranchers for cancellation of their agricultural debts, in accordance with DFO Plans and communications.

3. As a Sponsor or Patron, I am an independent worker, not an agent, employee nor franchisee of DFO nor its affiliates. I will not be treated as an employee with respect to such services, for federal nor state tax purposes. I understand that I am not required by DFO to enter into a commercial agreement with any state nor federal agency in order to participate as a Sponsor or Patron. I understand that I do not have to sponsor anyone in order to qualify for any debt payoff.

4. I understand and agree that the Trusts respectively assume full responsibility for distribution of funds assignments of up to $2,500,000.00 for each farmer/rancher I sponsor, to cancel their agricultural debts, and I agree to certify as true, correct and complete the information upon which the Trusts will rely in making their decisions to assign such funds. I understand and agree that my consideration will consist solely of funds assignments as equal not-profit exchange for my services of assisting my directly or indirectly sponsored farmers/ranchers to cancel their agricultural debts. I am not aware of any revenue taxable activity included in such services, and I will notify DFO in writing in advance before I participate in any revenue taxable activity in connection with this Application and Agreement.

5. I understand that I am not required to make any purchase nor payment in order to become or participate as a Sponsor or Patron. I understand that any funds I provide for processing costs are entirely at my discretion and option. I UNCONDITIONALLY WAIVE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS/REQUESTS FOR REFUND REGARDING ANY AND ALL FUNDS I CHOOSE TO REMIT FOR PROCESSING DATA AND FILES. My certified Application and Agreement shall serve as receipt for such funds donated in cash to DFO (no checks) .

6. I understand and agree that any amount assigned to me for my services in assisting a farmer or rancher I personally sponsor will be assigned to me OR IN TRUST as follows: Fifty percent (50%) will be assigned to me, and Fifty percent (50%) will be assigned to the eligible Sponsor/Patron who Certified me to DFO, per Disclaimer. I will not from said funds pay, reimburse, gift nor otherwise recompensate anyone directly/ indirectly for their participation in any DFO communication/distribution plan.

7. I understand that no Attorney General or regulatory authority ever endorses or approves any communication, distribution or compensation plan, and I will not make any such claims of endorsement/approval to others. Failure to comply will result in my immediate termination as Sponsor/Patron.

8. I understand and agree that my work in assisting any directly or indirectly sponsored farmer/rancher does not create nor serve as basis for any claim against DFO nor any Trust nor its/their affiliates. I acknowledge that DFO is an Assembly for Petition for Redress of Grievance. I acknowledge that DFO and the Trusts make no express nor implied guarantee nor representation that funds will be disbursed by the government offices holding any trust funds. I acknowledge that DFO and its affiliates are working on a best efforts basis, and I unconditionally waive all claims against DFO, the Trusts and affiliates, its/their officers, agents and designees, for nonperformance or malfeasance by any and all banks and/or government agents/employees regarding the funds and distribution plan as presented.

9. I agree to utilize only such information, documents, audio and video media which have been provided by or approved in writing by DFO and/or the Trusts. I agree to not engage in advertising of any kind whatsoever.

10. I agree to represent the DFO Plans and information fairly and completely, emphasizing that no purchase of goods or services are required at any level, that no recruitment fee can be derived from the mere act of referring, Certifying or sponsoring anyone, and that no earnings are guaranteed from participating in the DFO Plans. I agree that I will not make any representations about actual potential or expected earnings from participation as a Sponsor/Patron.

11. I understand that as a Sponsor/Patron, I am not guaranteed any income, nor am I assured any profit or success. I further certify that neither DFO, its affiliates nor the person who Certified me to DFO, have made any claims of guaranteed earnings or anticipated earnings that might result from my efforts as a Sponsor or Patron.

12. I agree to train and assist all Sponsor and Patrons I personally Certify to DFO.

13. I understand and agree that DFO and its affiliates, in order to maintain a viable communication and distribution system, may make modifications in its/their plans, literature and structure. I unconditionally agree to be bound by such changes upon notification to me through official DFO literature/communication.

14. I understand that the acceptance of this Application does not constitute the sale of a franchise nor a distributorship nor any “business opportunity”, and that there are no exclusive territories granted to anyone, and that no franchise fees have been paid, nor am I acquiring any interest in a security by the acceptance of this Agreement. I understand and agree that this Application does not involve nor trigger any commercial agreement with any federal nor state instrumentality.

15. I understand and agree that because of the personal nature of this Agreement and the opportunities it provides, it may not be transferred or otherwise assigned without the prior written consent of DFO. I understand and agree that either party to this agreement may terminate this Agreement by giving notice to the other party in writing. I WAIVE ALL STATUTORY RIGHTS TO CANCEL THIS APPLICATION WITHIN A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME (USUALLY THREE DAYS) AND FURTHER WAIVE STATUTORY NOTICE OF CANCELLATION, AND ADOPT INSTEAD THIS CLAUSE GUARANTEEING UNLIMITED RIGHT TO TERMINATE. This Application and Agreement is totally PRIVATE and can only be construed by the trustees of DFO, and not by any court, legislative, executive nor administrative officer(s). This agreement shall not be construed as any act contrary to any APPLICABLE law. If any provision of this Agreement shall be held invalid or otherwise unenforceable, it is as severed and the remainder provisions of this Agreement shall remain in full force and effect as the express will of the parties. In event of any dispute, both parties unconditionally agree and consent to resolution by arbitration panel, and agree to abide by the decisions of the arbitration panel. This Agreement shall remain in effect until terminated.

16. I understand and agree that this Application and Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties hereto. I have read this Agreement and I acknowledge receiving a copy hereof, and I agree to abide by and be bound by the terms contained herein.

17. The Sponsor/Patron who introduced me to DFO Certifies with his/her signature that he/she personally knows me and he/she disclosed all the above terms and conditions to me, and that I acknowledged same to him/her.

Page - 3 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct __:__

D E B T
F R E E
ORGANIC Request for Funds Assignment File ID No. ____
Local Office #
Please TYPE or PRINT LEGIBLY! Incomplete or altered applications will be returned.

REQUEST & INFORMATION SUBMITTED BY:
[ ] Mr. Area Code + HOME Telephone
[ ] Mrs.
[ ] Ms. ______________ (__) _________
LAST Name FIRST Name
Area Code + OFFICE Telephone FAX? [ ]
______________________ (__) _________
Street Address (no P.O. Box)
Area Code + CELL PHONE(s)
______________________ (__) _________
City – State – ZIP / Postal Code
Email: ______________________________

THIS IS A REQUEST THAT DEBT FREE ORGANIC PROCESS THE INFORMATION HEREIN AND ENTER A CONTRACT WITH SPECIFIC TRUST(S) TO ASSIGN FUNDS TO THE CREDITORS LISTED ON THIS FORM.

I UNDERSTAND THAT NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT IS REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS DISTRIBUTION PLAN. I AND/OR MY SPONSOR/PATRON MAY ELECT TO PROVIDE FUNDS TO DFO TO OFFSET PROCESSING COSTS, AT OUR SOLE OPTION, WITHOUT ANY REFUND. A PARTICIPANT IN THIS DISTRIBUTION AND COMMUNICATION PLAN HAS THE RIGHT TO CANCEL AT ANY TIME REGARDLESS OF REASON. CANCELLATION MUST BE SUBMITTED IN WRITING TO THE STATE COORDINATOR OR AREA COORDINATOR. I MUST ATTACH MY COMPLETED AND CERTIFIED SPONSOR/PATRON APPLICATION FORM TO THIS REQUEST, OTHERWISE THIS REQUEST WILL BE RETURNED. I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THE TERMS & CONDITIONS PRINTED ON THE BACK OF SPONSOR/PATRON “APPLICATION AND AGREEMENT”, AND I AGREE TO ABIDE BY THE POLICIES AND PROCEDURES OF DFO.

OPTION: ENCLOSED PLEASE FIND $____ TO HELP OFFSET PROCESSING COSTS.

BY SIGNATURES BELOW, YOU AND YOUR SPONSOR/PATRON CERTIFY THAT THE INFORMATION YOU PROVIDED ON THIS FORM IS TRUE, CORRECT AND COMPLETE.

SIGN Signature of Farmer/Rancher requesting funds assignments
TODAY’S DATE and TIME:
________________ __:__ am / pm
SIGN Certification of Sponsor/Patron assisting this Farmer/Rancher File ID No.:
TODAY’S DATE and TIME:
________________ __:__ am / pm
PRINT CERTIFYING SPONSOR/PATRON NAME: and FILE ID No.:
PRINT “UPLINE” SPONSOR/PATRON NAME: and FILE ID No.:

NOTE: Only pre-numbered Request Forms available from your Local office through State or Area Coordinator may be used. COMPLETE AND PRESENT THIS APPLICATION TO YOUR STATE/AREA COORDINATOR ONLY. Attach your completed and Certified “Sponsor/Patron Application & Agreement” to this form, showing that you have applied to become a Sponsor.

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR IDEAS HOW DFO CAN BETTER SERVE AGRICULTURE IN YOUR AREA. Thanks!

White Original---Regional Coordinator MAKE COPIES FOR YOUR RECORDS

Page - 4 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct __:__

LAST Name FIRST Name City -- State -- ZIP File ID No.:
If your agriculture debt is in excess of $2,500,000.00 as of 08-May-2006, check this box: [ ]
Number of your family members directly involved in your agriculture operation: ___
Number of acres under cultivation ___
Number of acres NOT cultivated __County(s) __________
Total number of acres ___ Number of parcels ____
Primary crops: _____________________________________
Primary livestock: _________________________________
Number of tractors: _____
Types: ______________________
Approx. ages: _______________

THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS NECESSARY FOR THE TRUSTS TO PROCESS FUNDS ASSIGNMENTS.

THE FUNDS ASSIGNMENTS WILL BE KEYED DIRECTLY TO THE SPECIFIC CREDITORS.

--- Please TYPE or PRINT LEGIBLY! ---

1. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

2. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

3. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

Page - 5 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct _______ : _______

LAST Name FIRST Name City -- State -- ZIP  File ID No.:

4. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

5. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

6.
CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESSBEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

7. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

8. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

Page - 6 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct _______ : _______

LAST Name FIRST Name City -- State -- ZIP  File ID No.:

9. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

10. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

11. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

12. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

13. CREDITOR LEGAL NAME CONTRACT / ACCOUNT NUMBER PAST DUE? [ ] YES [ ] NO
CREDITOR LEGAL ADDRESS AMOUNT DUE DUE DATE: $
CREDITOR STATE, ZIP / POSTAL CODE HAS COLLECTION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
HAS REPOSSESSION PROCESS BEGUN [ ] YES [ ] NO
NOTES:

Page - 7 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct _______ : _______

REFERRAL SYSTEM + RELATIONSHIPS + RESULTS

WHY referrals: Because we care enough to find the real problems and find out how to match solutions EXACTLY to those problems. “Problem” is defined as the GAP between where you are now and where you want to be. We know that the ANSWER is in the RIGHT QUESTION, so our focus is on finding the right questions that someone would naturally ask themselves if they only knew which questions to ask.

That is the heart of referrals: a system of relationships built on powerful, empowering, professional questions that produce specific results for EXACT SOLUTIONS.

WHY referrals: Because we work with a SECURITY NETWORK. We always run a discreet security background check on each and every one we might want to deal with. Total security. Then we always start at the same place: “no deal”. From there everyone is free to look for reasons to make a good deal work, or to freely say “no” and walk away with total dignity and self-respect. Remember: this is not for everyone… it is not about the money… it is about what is really important:

What would it mean to be the largest, happiest, healthiest, wealthiest, most powerful family agriculture network in the world? Once you OWN that concept, you can see how learning and asking the right questions is the answer.

HOW? Make the most important 8 letters put together in the English language work for you: DECISION.

DECIDE to step up. DECIDE to help others by learning what questions to ask them. DECIDE to enjoy one powerful, proven way to build a CONNECTION with people: let them do the talking in answer to your questions, and LISTEN. What do you have to lose by listening?

WHO benefits from this referral system: Who knows you that you feel would naturally benefit from Debt Free Organic/Bionomics, and it would just make sense for them?

NAME: COMMITMENT TO EACH PERSON: ACTION
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________

Page - 8 -
Doc. No. 1.04 DFO-Pre.004© 2006 LWT Control 813 Certified true & correct _______ : _______
REFERRAL SYSTEM + RELATIONSHIPS + RESULTS
NAME: COMMITMENT TO EACH PERSON:

________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________
________________ [ ] Sponsor [ ] Refer __________________

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

The Paris Fiasco

I don't know about anybody else, but I'm just about sick and tired of hearing about poor little rich girl Paris Hilton. Paris, of course, is an heir to Hilton Hotel fortune, but she's best known for making a pornographic videotape with a boyfriend, which was later released on the internet. She claims she didn't know he filmed them having sex. She's lying, because she's quite obviously posing and primping for the camera in the video.

She also has a reality show called "The Simple Life", which depicts her and another stupid spoiled whore, Lionel Richie's daughter Nicole, wreaking havoc on the lives of everyone they encounter while they show what happens when stupid spoiled whores are set loose on decent hardworking folks.

Paris is a fashion model as well, for high-priced designer crap, and she's appeared in a few movies where we all were subjected to her complete lack of acting skills.

But mostly, she's famous for being famous, and she's obviously quite struck on herself, as it was revealed that most of the photos and even posters in her home are of herself. I laughed when I saw that. What a self-absorbed twit.

Paris is also apparently very well-known for trying to destroy the reputations of other women. One recipient of Paris's venom is suing her as we speak. Others simply hate her because she's a bitch who gets her kicks from stealing other women's boyfriends, and even their husbands. I watched one video wherein she called some poor victim of her malice "a fucking hoodlum, broke, poor public school bitch from, like, Compton" Compton is a working-class town near Los Angeles, incidentally. In another video she made the comments "fat ugly Jewish bitch", "little black whore got f***d in the butt for coke", "nigger", "black and steal shit", all in the course of less than give minutes. She has at other times made derogatory remarks about every imaginable type of individual, and her targets are obviously anyone who isn't wealthy, blonde, privileged, white, and pretty.

There was no outrage over those comments, and no one even questioned why she would say things like that. Don Imus got fired for far, far less. Yet her reality show continues, and there were no consequences whatsoever for her outrageous behavior. That's disturbing, because many young girls look up to Paris as a role model, when she is in fact anything but that.

So basically, Paris Hilton is a woman who has never faced any consequences for her actions, who has been raised to believe that the world is hers on a silver platter, and all she has to do is be pretty, and cry when she doesn't get her way. It's really quite sickening.

At any rate, today I read that it is costing taxpayers $1,109.78 a day to keep Paris Hilton in the jail medical unit, whereas it costs $99.64 to house the average female inmate. The question then becomes, is it worth it to keep her incarcerated, or should she be either released or placed back on home confinement?

Let's review.

She was arrested for DUI. The prosecutor reduced the charge to reckless driving, and she was sentenced to probation. The terms of that probation were payment of a fine, license suspension, and completion of an alcohol education course.

She never even signed up for the alcohol education course. She also got caught repeatedly driving with a suspended license, once going 70 mph in a 30 mph zone after dark, with her headlights off. I don't need to tell the average semi-intelligent person that she drove on a suspended license a lot more times than she got caught.

She finally got dragged into court on a violation of probation charge. The average person would have been charged with VOP for a lot less. She was 15 minutes late for court, which is sure to put any judge in a bad mood. She testified that she didn't know her license was suspended, although police found a warning that she is not allowed to drive, issued by a police officer, in her glove compartment. When asked if she understood the terms of her probation, she responded ""I just sign what people tell me to sign. I'm a very busy person". When asked about a notice that had been sent to her, she responded that she doesn't read her mail because "I have people who do that for me". Her publicist testified that he told her she could drive. She claimed she didn't check that information out with her attorneys, because she (and this is the funny part) didn't have time to call them.

Obviously, she was lying, and so was her witness. Judges don't like it when people lie to them, so she's lucky she wasn't also hit with a perjury charge.

Quite predicably, the judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail, with the specific criteria that no alternative form of incarceration was acceptable. There was much gnashing of teeth by the Hiltons over that decision, with her mother loudly asking the judge for his autograph, and generally acting like an arrogant twit. Paris was allowed to report at a later date to serve her sentence.

The day she turned herself in, she attended an awards show, walked the red carpet, and was obviously fine. That would change very quickly, though, or at least it changed if you live in BizzaroWorld.

After serving only three days in jail, the sheriff placed Paris on home confinement without filing the proper pleadings to amend her sentence. The prosecutor wasn't even advised of this action. The judge was advised, and he told them his sentence stands. The sheriff ignored the judge, claimed that Paris was suffering from "severe" psychological problems, and said she was deteriorating quickly. He cited liability on the part of the jail if she should harm herself.

Yet a suicidal inmate is much safer in jail, than they are at home. In jail, they are being watched, and it's extremely hard to commit suicide because there's very little there with which one could inflict self-harm. At home, there are many, many ways to commit suicide, so in all actuality his liability was potentially far greater with her on home confinement.

Quite predicably, all hell broke loose over the sheriff's decision, and the judge demanded that Paris be brought to his court the next day, and that the sheriff show cause why he shouldn't be held in contempt of court.

Quite predicably, Paris was sent back to jail, although the judge didn't act on the motion for contempt against the sheriff.

That's the only thing the judge did with which I disagree, incidentally. The sheriff should indeed have been held in contempt of court.

Quite predictably, Paris whined and cried some more in court, even cried for her mommy although she's 26 years old, and this time the sheriff placed her in the medical unit for evaluation. Yet, quite predictably, doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She's still in the medical unit, and is not only doing interviews from jail, but also playing ping-poing. I vomited into my mouth a little bit when I read that, incidentally.

The latest news is that Paris was taken out of jail and placed on home confinement because she suffers from ADD and claustrophobia. Hello? They sent her home from jail for that? What a bunch of frickin' 'tards. If there was any question about whether Paris was receiving preferential treatment before, those questions have been answered with a resounding "YES".

How convenient that she can hang out in the small VIP rooms of clubs, but mysteriously has claustophobia in jail. How convenient that she has ADD - a diagnosis which many question - when the treatment for that is Adderall. Adderall, of course, is speed, and there are videos of Paris doing all kinds of drugs. Sounds to me like she found a way to keep doing drugs even when in jail.

Problem is, does Paris really need that level of care - the equivalent of a private hospital room with four beds, no less - if she's well enough to do an interview with Barbara Walters and play ping-pong? Not only no, but hell no.

First, it's obvious to anyone with more than one brain cell that there are people in jail with much more serious illnesses who could use those other three beds. Second, Paris's alleged illnesses do not require that level of treatment. Would you be put in the hospital for having ADD and claustrophobia? Give me a break.

So it's worth every single penny to keep Paris Hilton incarcerated. The judge originally ordered her to jail with no allowance for alternative incarceration, because he was dealing with a defendant who quite obviously has absolutely no respect for the law whatsoever, and in fact by her actions proved that she believes the law doesn't apply to her (that's not even going into her complete disrespect for the property of others on her reality show). In the real world, people like Paris are called a sociopath. I therefore support the judge's decision completely, with the sole exception of not finding the sheriff in contempt of court.

If Paris is psychologically well enough to do an interview with Barbara Walters, she doesn't need to be in the expensive medical unit. She also shouldn't be released or placed on home confinement again, though, since she was obviously faking a psychological disorder in an attempt to manipulate the criminal justice system.

Face it, if doctors are "baffled" by her alleged "severe" condition, as was reported over the weekend, she's just malingering (a crime in the military, and it should be a crime in jail as well, given that the taxpayers have to foot the bill for it). In fact, for that stunt, jail officials should take away her good time (since good time is intended to reward inmates who don't cause problems) and force her to serve the entire 45-day sentence.

The sheriff should put her back where she was previously incarcerated, and completely stop the preferential treatment she has been receiving since the beginning, in order to save money for the taxpayers. If she starts blubbering again, the jail should do to her what they'd do to anyone else, by just telling her to shut up.

The simple fact of the matter is, Paris Hilton is no better than anybody else who's in jail. In fact, there are people in jail who are merely awaiting trial but can't afford bail, and thus people who have never been convicted of anything but being poor; and people who are incarcerated but charges will never be filed against them. Where's their preferential treatment, when under our laws a defendant is considered innocent until proven guilty in court? I have a lot more sympathy (and empathy) for those people than I will ever have for a wealthy overgrown brat who has been convicted of a crime involving threat to public safety, and who not only refuses to even try to meet the requirements of simple probation, but also continues to be a threat to public safety while on probation.

I also read that her visitors are taken right past all the other visitors, and the other visitors are made to wait in line for hours while Paris has her visit. That's beyond ridiculous. Her visitors should not get preferential treatment either. Let them wait like everyone else, because it is completely unfair to others if the Hiltons are given priority in jail visitation. The truth is, like their daughter/sister who is no better than anyone else in jail, the Hiltons are no better than anyone else in the jail visitors' area. They may not like that fact, and I'm pretty sure that Paris's extremely arrogant mother won't like it at all, but sometimes the truth hurts. Deal with it.

Last but certainly not least, the citizens of Los Angeles County should recall the Sheriff for his part in this fiasco. When he decided he could overrule a valid court order - especially given that the recipient of his largesse has a grandfather who contributed to his campaign - he crossed a line no sheriff should ever cross, caused citizens nationwide and even worldwide to lose faith in our system of justice, and thus proved beyond any doubt whatsoever that he is not worthy of his office of public trust.

His actions have also started a deluge of lawsuits that will eventually end up costing the county many millions of dollars.

It was reported today that a lawsuit has been filed by a female veteran who lost both legs on active duty, and who was in jail but charges were never filed against her. This woman allegedly developed a hernia while in custody which went untreated, she was denied her cancer medication, and she claims to have been verbally abused and humiliated by being forced to crawl around the facility without the use of her prosthetic legs.

While that may seem like an exaggeration to some, it wouldn't surprise me at all if it actually happened. The problem is that pretty white girl Paris was treated like a princess for her ADD and claustrophobia, while a black female disabled veteran with cancer and no legs, who was never even charged with - much less convicted of - a crime, was treated worse, at that same jail facility in which Paris was originally placed, than I treat my animals. It's sickening, but it happens a lot more than most people think.

Did Paris Hilton receive, and is she continuing to receive, referential treatment? Absolutely, and hopefully the Hilton case will make people nationwide think twice about whether justice in this country is truly blind. It is not.

Tee Time For The '08 Presidential Race

Tee Barkdull is running for President. One thing strikes me as an immediate positive, which is that his name tells it all. The guy is dull as a piece of bark.

That is, unless he's either on one of his misogynistic rants, or planning to take complete control over the United States. Then, he becomes quite a colorful character.

I ran across Tee on the politicsone blog, where he posts regularly in the reader comments. I honestly didn't pay much attention to Tee, until after the Jacqueline Passey blog entry about the Nevada LP debates. Someone suggested he contact Ms. Passey, and he posted a rather bizarre comment on her blog. When she and her blog readers reacted negatively, he called her a "jack ass", a "witch", a "female dog", and a "bimbo".

When confronted about his behavior, Tee at first just generally freaked out. Eventually he tried to save face by saying he calls anybody those same names, if they say what he claims Ms. Passey said (which, incidentally, no one has ever seen; he claims it occurred in email, but never posted the exchange despite having threatened to do so, and despite requests that he do so).

The funny thing is, Tee didn't differentiate between calling men and women those names. I'd really like to see how a man would react to being called a "bimbo" - or any of those other names - by an obvious loudmouthed bully like Barkdull. But, I digress.

It got really funny when Mr. Presidential Candidate asked the blog owner, 16-year-old Daniel, to help him stop people from picking on him. The funny thing is, no one was picking on him. They were asking legitimate questions about his odd behavior, and he was responding with highly intelligent comments like "shut your pie hole".

Based on Tee's behavior, I decided to look into him a little bit closer. Here are his qualifications for the presidency: He served in the military. He .... well, that's about it. His platform is pretty weird too. In fact, that's what started this whole debacle. He posted on Passey's blog that he wanted to wrest all power from Congress. In other words, like Gene Chapman, Tee also wants to be a Dictator, but he's surprised when the normals think he's nuts.

However, I can say one more positive thing about Tee, which is that he's not running for the LP nomination (he started his own party). The last thing the LP needs is yet another frickin' 'tard embarrassing us all by running for President.

Barney Fife Is Alive And Well, And On A Beat Near You

From Yahoo News: :

Four months into his job, a police officer in Mississippi holds a gun to the head of an unarmed teenager and puts him in a chokehold. A rookie officer in Illinois gets into a car chase that kills a driver. And a new campus policeman in Indiana shoots an unarmed student to death. Some are blaming these harrowing episodes on what an Associated Press survey found is a common practice across the country: At least 30 states let some newly hired local law enforcement officers hit the streets with a gun, a badge and little or no training.

These states allow a certain grace period — six months or a year in most cases, two years in Mississippi and Wisconsin — before rookies must be sent to a police academy. In many cases, these recruits are supposed to be supervised by a full-fledged officer, but that does not always happen.

The risks, some say, are high.

"You wouldn't want a brain surgeon who isn't properly trained. Someone shouldn't be out there carrying a badge and a gun unless they are qualified to be out there," said Jeremy Spratt, program manager of the Missouri Peace Officer Standards and Training Program.

Click the above link to read the rest of the story.

Ann Coulter Plays The "Gay Card". Again.

IDIOTIC ANN COULTER PLAYS THE "GAY CARD" AGAIN

Ann Coulter, the controversial, loudmouthed, mini-skirt-wearing darling of the Far Right (who once tried to run for Congress as a Libertarian) seems to be more than a little homophobic. While previously calling Al Gore "a total fag", and claiming Bill Clinton has "the whiff of the bathhouse" - which when questioned she claimed to be a "manifestly obvious fact" - she has moved on to other targets.

Her M.O., however, hasn't changed. This time, she claims that Democratic hopeful John Edwards is a "faggot".



She claims in that video that "you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot'".

That, of course, is not true. It is true, however, that a few years on a therapist's couch probably wouldn't hurt a frickin' 'tard like Coulter.

SECOND ANNUAL FRICKIN' TARD OF THE YEAR AWARD TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!

Try not to get overly excited, but the winner of the Second Annual Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Award will be announced in the next few weeks. Who could possibly prevail over last year's winner, Jim Norman? Stay tuned. In the meantime, to recap, this is last year's ceremony, presented again for your information and amusement:

Monday, December 05, 2005
FIRST ANNUAL FRICKIN' 'TARD OF THE YEAR AWARD

Hello, and welcome to the First Annual Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Awards! I have to admit, the decision wasn't easy. There are so many frickin' 'tards out there, but only one of them can be the recipient of this dubious honor.

I obviously had to set some criteria for the award, and decided that the most important would be that the frickin' 'tard's actions must have negatively affected other people's lives, and it must involve a scam of some type. That leaves out most of the people who are frickin' 'tards in the Darwinian sense of the term.

This year our nominees (along with a short synopsis of their lunacy) are, in no particular order:

James David Phillip Victor Norman (better known as Jim Norman, operating also as The Espavo Foundation), Toronto.
Jim Norman, who calls himself variously "Canada's Premier Jazz Drummer" and "Canada's Premier Percussionist" has been running a scam for about four years, in which he promises an astronomical return in exchange for a two-week loan, supposedly to help him release his nonexistent $156 million. So far, no one has gotten any money except Jim Norman. When anyone questions why they haven't received their money, he uses extremely vulgar language toward them, and tells them incredibly stupid things like "you cannot handle abundance". He is undoubtedly one of the biggest frickin' 'tards I have ever encountered.

Gene "TogaDude" Chapman (recently and amusingly re-nicknamed "The Human Hibachi" by a Quatloosian), Texas
The world's only living multiple death-faster made for amusing banter again this year, when he decided to teach the IRS a lesson by attempting to set himself on fire while driving an RV with a leaky propane tank. He then (not surpisingly) spent about 42 days in the nut house, and another 30 days in jail. Most recently, he has started a "business" instructing others how to establish their own "home church" to avoid paying taxes. He has gotten a lot of press on this blog as a result of his neverending (and usually hilarious) antics.

Paul Andrew Mitchell (aka PAM, real name Mitch Modeleski), California.
The author of "The Federal Zone" (which claims that no one has to pay taxes unless they are residing in specific federal territories) hasn't done anything new this year, but his legal battle against AOL and everyone with a computer continues, at least in his own mind. He has become even further entrenched in his various conspiracy theories, from federal judges being imposters to 9/11 conspiracy crap. This blog's namesake is always a serious contender for any Frickin' 'Tard award.

David Merrill Van Pelt (who swears his name is just David Merrill), Colorado
This one was the "private banker" who triggered the Montana Freeman standoff against the FBI. He was once arrested for proffering bogus Montana Freeman checks. On the more amusing side, he also claims to have the cure for SARS, and once sued Jesus Christ on behalf of his motor scooter. He is known to some as SFBFKADVP (which is the acronym for "Shit For Brains Formerly Known As David Van Pelt"). He seems to think that he is an expert on something called "advanced-resonance inductive plasma physics". However, when you google that term, the only entries that appear are his, certainly suggesting that it's something he just made up.

Shaini "DOO" Goodwin (aka "Dove of Oneness"), Washington State
This NESARA guru claims to be in continuous contact with high government officials from around the world, including but not limited to intelligence sources. The only problem is, she's not. Instead, she's a grossly overweight woman living in a relative's broken-down trailer, and has no such contacts. NESARA (or at least, her version of NESARA) isn't even real. She claims it is a secret law passed by Clinton which will wipe out all debt and leave us all wealthy beyond out wildest dreams; but, as luck would have it, the Supreme Court entered a gag order which forbids everyone (except, quite conveniently, Dove) from discussing NESARA, under threat of death. This scam arose from the old Omega farm claims scam. Oh, and did I mention the flying saucers and space men who are going to help bring NESARA to the public? Um, yeah. Needless to say, this one is a frickin' 'tard extraordinaire.

Larken "MulletBoy" Rose, Pennsylvania
Larken is a medical transcriber who believes that the average American doesn't have taxable income, because he reads section 861 of the Internal Revenue Code (which applies to Americans working overseas) and ignores Section 61, which applies to you and me. He accordingly stopped filing and paying taxes (both state and federal), then took out an ad in several newspapers which said "Please Prosecute Me". Well, the Department of Justice - being public servants, after all - had no choice but to grant his request. They prosecuted him, and he dropped his bizarro 861 theory like a hot potato, opting instead for a Cheek defense (stating that he did not willfully disobey the law since he had a sincere belief he was right). He was convicted in very short order - about the time it takes me to eat lunch - and was sentenced to 15 months in a federal penitentiary after mitigating his sentence by both preparing his back tax returns and making a substantial payment on his delinquent taxes. The worst part of this, however, is that his wife Tessa was convicted in a separate trial (the money was all in her name - what a guy!), and they have a young daughter. Her sentence is yet to be determined at this writing, but it is conceivable that their daughter will be effectively orphaned for some period of time while Larken and Tessa serve their sentences. So I just don't like this frickin' 'tard, period.

Robert Clarkson (aka The Great One), South Carolina
This physically humongous disbarred lawyer (who never admits he was disbarred, but claims he was suspended for refusal to pay Bar dues due to disagreement with Bar policy) has done more damage than one could imagine by setting up fake trusts (and thus setting his customers up for a very big financial fall when the IRS gets wind of it). Plus, he was disbarred for stealing a woman's welfare check to force her to settle a case, and filing a lien against his own clients for money they didn't owe. It goes without saying that he's not only a frickin' 'tard, but a piece of shit. There is a federal injunction pending against him, the outcome of which is undetermined at this writing.

Chris Hansen, Family Guardian website.
Chris Hansen believes that he is domiciled in Heaven, and therefore the United States government has no jurisdiction over him. During a recent deposition, he gave the attorney questioning him some rather curious answers. For example, in response to the question, "Where do you live?" Hansen replied "In my body, I don't have an address". In response to the question "Where do you spend most of your time?" he answered, "In my body". Hilariously, the attorney then asked, "Where does your body spent most of its time?" Hansen's obviously a frickin' 'tard if he thinks those kinds of answers will protect him against an injunction for giving painfully bad tax advice.

Irwin "Schiffty" Schiff
Irwin Schiff is older than dirt, and his own attorney admitted in civil court filings that Irwin has been formally diagnosed as delusional. He also got sent to prison this year, for the third time on charges of tax evasion. He has written a number of self-published books about how no one has to pay taxes, one of which was actually banned by the government because it was deemed to be commercial speech and therefore not protected by the First Amendment. He represented himself at his latest trial, and turned the courtroom into a three-ring circus. His followers have since made numerous threats against the judge who presided over the trial, as well as the jurors who rendered the verdict. These frickin' 'tards have thus kept the Men In Black very busy trying to protect regular folks who were just doing their civic duty. The fact remains, however, that no one would be getting threatened if it weren't for Irwin Schiff.

Anthony Martelli, aka Anthony Sarivola, aka Anthony Steele, aka "Tony Limo"
This dirty cop / ex-Mafia enforcer for the Colombo Crime Family has been running a scam in which he pretends to secure high-ticket loans, gets a very large commitment fee up front, and then accuses people of fraud so he can keep their money. One company which sued him had given him a staggering 145K. He even had a big stamp made so he can more easily mark their files "File Closed Due To Fraud". Anthony is foul and vulgar, but amusing in that he's obviously pretty damn stupid since he keeps getting caught. He is a former guest of the GreyBar Hotel, having spent years in federal prison for running another financial scam. He was convicted of running yet another financial scam while he was behind bars. At one point in time, his bond was revoked because he had threatened his own sister with bodily harm if she didn't post his bond. He was previously in the Witness Protection Program, and Edward McDonald, attorney-in-charge of the Organized Crime Strike Force for the Eastern District of New York, has called Sarivola/Martelli "a nut job" with regard to his testimony regarding the matter for which he was placed in witness protection. This frickin' 'tard has no shame whatsoever, and regularly goes onto the internet pretending to be satisfied customers. Although his current loan company filed for Chapter 11 (in which he stated that he has earned a cool mil over the last three years), his scams aren't over. He has started several new businesses since we started to expose him on Quatloos - one a "church", and the other a company to provide funding for movie projects.

Those are the nominees, ladies and gentlemen. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

The winner of this year's "Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Award" is (envelope please) ....

JIM NORMAN!

Let's talk a little bit more about Jim Norman. I swear, I'm not making this up even though it's so bizarre that you will undoubtedly think otherwise. However, let me start out by telling you that the name of his alleged organization, "Espavo", means "thank you for taking your power". Well, some people say power is money, and if so, the Espavo Foundation is aptly named because this guy has taken a lot of people's money.

First, some background.

Jim Norman claims to have $156 million in a foreign bank account which was frozen by the US government following 9/11, under authority of The Patriot Act. However, the Patriot Act doesn't give the United States the power to freeze a foreign bank account; and that's not even getting into the not-insignificant fact that the United States has no jurisdiction over any foreign bank account. You can read all about the banking provisions of the USA Patriot Act for yourself at www.occ.treas.gov/BSA/BSARegs.htm

He claims to have an account with the World Bank, although the World Bank only deals with countries and not individuals. Two separate representatives of the World Bank have stated that they don't know who he is, that the account form he showed prospective investors is a fraud, and that his claims with regard to the World Bank are a fraud. Yes, they actually used the word "fraud" in writing. Is it even a possibility that he's telling the truth about the World Bank? See for yourself that's it's not possible, by reading the World Bank website at www.worldbank.org

He claims the International Monetary Fund is also involved with his "portfolio", even though the IMF has specifically denied even knowing who he is, denied sending the documents in question, and furthermore they also only deal with countries. You can read all about the International Monetary Fund - and understand why he cannot possibly be telling the truth - on their website, www.imf.org

He claims the International Court of Justice at The Hague (which he calls the World Court) has made decisions in his case, even though they have no jurisdiction to hear anything involving him (again, since he's not a country) and there is no record or even a hint that they have any earthly idea who this guy is. The truth is that the International Court of Justice is the judicial organ of the United Nations, only deals with member countries of the United Nations; and every single case they have ever heard, and every pending case, is listed clearly on their website at www.icj-cij.org

In other words, this makes no sense whatsoever to anyone who bothers to check out his fantastical claims. Those who don't check him out are always going to lose their money. How much money are we talking, you may ask? It's well over a million dollars; some estimate it to be as much as $4 million.

He always has an excuse for why he doesn't pay - and bear in mind that this has been going on for four years even though his investors were each supposed to each be paid within a few weeks - although the excuses are akin to "the dog ate my homework".

This is how the scam works.

Jim Norman has "facilitators" who solicit people to invest in his so-called "project". The reason given these poor gullible folks as to why he needs the money has to do with fines, fees, and other facially false payments that allegedly must be made to release his nonexistent funds. They are given a promissory note, obviously not written by an attorney, which states that they are to be paid the principal sum plus an astounding 760% interest in a period of approximately two weeks. In other words, for each 10K invested, the investor is supposed to receive $76,000 in two weeks. Yeah, I know, anybody with even a lick of common sense should have known this was nothing but a scam. All the money changes hands by wire transfer. And once the money has been paid ... well, the old saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" takes on a whole new meaning.

Some people have given him $5,000. Others have given him as much as $450,000. The sums are staggering.

So, why do people "invest" in the Jim Norman Project? Simple greed and gross gullibility. He convinces these people that he has contacts in international finance, that he has the ability to operate as a country, and that the paltry interest sums one usually sees do not apply in his world. Shockingly, they believe him. What surprises me is the number of people who still believe him, despite the fact that his claims have been thoroughly debunked.

For example, he presented a document which he stated was from the United States Department of the Treasury. This document states that he is to be paid the sum of $3 million from an individual who allegedly defamed him and tried to steal his nonexistent portfolio.

Stop the boat. The US Department of the Treasury has no authority to award damages to him, and no jurisdiction to hear cases of defamation. The document is, in fact, a forgery, as has been confirmed by multiple sources within the Department of the Treasury. Of course, it wasn't necessary to ask if it was a forgery, since it was a really bad forgery.

Frank Abergnale Jr, he's not. Here, see for yourself at www.imgplus.net/pict.php?id=bbfdbe8054 (sorry it's not embedded, but blogger seems to be glitching).

Then there were the Spanish documents, variously from la Caixa Bank (an institution which is regularly named in such scams) and even the Spanish counterpart to the Internal Revenue Service.

According to the Spanish tax document (which is written in Spanish, so his investors just took his word for what it said) he is requesting a tax deduction due to maternity. It also says that he is the proud mother of two sons, both named after him. Now, I don't keep up with all the latest scientific advances, but the last time I checked, it is a biological impossibility for a man to be pregnant.

I told you, this stuff is unbelievable. Many of his "investors" refuse to believe it's a scam even though the evidence has been presented to them repeatedly. Many if not most will not go to law enforcement. Why? A review of the investor list shows that many of the investors are scammers themselves.

I have to admit, it doesn't break my heart when a scammer gets scammed, especially in a scam this blatant.

Not all of his investors are scammers, though. Some of them are elderly. One elderly investor wrote to him, saying that she has no money but that she trusts him to pay off the principal plus interest. She doesn't understand that he is a scammer, much less that her money is gone forever. Now, that pisses me off.

In the meantime, he has sent photos to his "investors" of all the things he has bought with their money. These poor deluded souls think he has those things because he has $156 million in the bank. A few of them are coming to their senses and realizing that he bought these things with their money. Others still believe every word this guy says.

Jim Norman rarely speaks for himself, preferring instead to implicate various females in the United States to do his dirty work for him. He threatened to sue me, as did one of those females. I laughed my ass off about that, I have to admit. When he realized that wasn't going to work, he had another one of his pathetic minions tell me that I was going to be "FIRED!" from Quatloos. That was even more hilarious, since I'm just a volunteer there and exposing people like him is what we do.

I figure that, at this rate in his bizarro game of reverse threats, he will eventually buy me something really nice in an attempt to intimidate me. LOL

Jim Norman does occasionally communicate for himself. When he does, it's like reading the output of a random word generator. He makes threats, he tries to intimidate people, he calls people names, he makes it clear that the people who loaned him money aren't as good as him, and he just generally terrorizes his investors and anyone else who dares to question His Good Self.

Just to give you an idea of his idiocy, here's a private message he had one of his "Team" members send to me:

CARM was also in direct relations with the perpetrator as stated on the Treasury Document, I state unequivocally in the world I work in, we don't need forgery charges refuted in chat rooms INSTIGATED BY PEOPLE WE HAVE FIRED, this is preposterous, TRITE, and not a place to have my International dealing subjected to.....PERIOD. I have LAWYERS AND LAW FIRMS FOR THAT. I have been on the net since its conception, "Jim Norman & Grafite" SEARCH WITH PARENTHESES, seen all kinds of forums that attract the sick that hide behind handles and false credentials, AND HOP FROM ROOM TO ROOM SPEWEING OPINIONS AS FACT, consummate GARBAGE. You think the FBI, CIA, ECOWAS, IMF, WBG, RCMP, ENTERTAIN THESE FORUMS AS A BASE FOR THEIR INVOLVEMENT? MUCH LESS IN MY CASE WHERE I AM IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH THESE ORGANIZATIONS, ALL THROUGH LAW FIRMS, FORENSIC ACCOUNTANTING AND COLLEAGUES BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO, ALL PROFESSIONAL IN EXECUTION, MUCH LESS ABOUT MATTERS THAT A CERMELLA KYDD HAS NO IDEA OF AND ARE IN A TOTAL LEAGUE ABOVE AND BEYOND "INTERNET FORUMS". I AM NOT A NEOPHYTE AT ANY OF THIS NET STUFF AND HAVE MORE THAN ONE PRESENCE HERE, ARCHIVAL, MERCHANT CREDIT STATUS AT TIMES AS WELL; ONE DOES NOT GET MERCHANT STATUS ON LINE CASUALLY. WHAT IS ALL THIS FORGERY CRAP, WHAT CEO NEEDS TO GO TO SOME CHAT ROOM AND SEND PROOF?!?!?!?!?! NOT TO MENTION READ DEATH THREATS TO STAFF????? Ego is one thing but ID is totally out of whack here. THE GAME STOPS, CHARGES AS STATED BY KASSIE ARE BUILDING AGAINST CARMELA KYDD AND HER COLLEAGUE HAS FACED CHARGES AND LOST TO THE TUNE OF 3 MILLION. HE LIED BUT NEVER THREATENED, SHE HAS THREATENED, DO YOU THINK IN TIME SHE AND THOSE THAT ARE HER COHORTS IN WHAT IS A "CRIME" WILL GET OFF ANY EASIER? You think you are dealing with some subservient to your forum that needs to banter here? I have lawyers that are versed with Internet law; I have been here for DECADES. Not ONE person from the room has had the COURAGE to contact the email address that Kassie posted for dialogue with my Company and the fact that I would stoop to this level to facilitate myopic children with delusions of grandeur waste my staffs time. That a room facilitator con posture in some all knowing stance DEMANDING PROOF FOR HER FORUM IS DELLUSIONAL, I SUBPENA EVIDENCE AND GET IT WHEN I NEED IT, AND THE FORUM MAY SOON FACE WHATEVE LEGALITYS IT TAKES IF IT IS PROVEN THAT IT AIDS AND ABETS THREATS TO MY STAFF OR I. And wallowing in the rooms, facilitating garbage like "THE IMF AND WBG WILL LIE FOR HIS FOUNDATION TO PROTECT HIM...HE HAS VISITED THE VATICAN, HE IS A DANGEROUSE MAN" ?!?!?!....Listen, go edit comic books for a living, this forum is a DUMB UNPRODUCTIVE pastime. Go into the Health Industry and specialize in COLONICS, this is more productive at flushing out the truth, than the garbage you ALLOW, take responsibility for fueling in your...... FORUM????

Now, why would anyone contact this ass clown at his hotmail address, when we already know what we need to know about him? Quatloosians wouldn't, because it's a waste of our time. We expose scams. We don't get into pissing contests with scammers unless it's necessary for our purposes (or unless they show up in our forums). Besides, we already know that he harasses the hell out of people once he has their email address, and that he regularly traces IPs specifically for harassment purposes. Yeah, I know, I could mask my IP. However, he sent this message to me via the Quatloos internal messaging system, so why do I need to send him an email at all? The one and only reason he wanted people to email him is so that he could figure out which ones of his victims were blowing the whistle on him.

As for the comment about him being dangerous .... I never said that he is dangerous, so that might be a Freudian slip on his part. The fact is, I don't know that he's dangerous, but I don't know that he's not dangerous, either. The above message alone, however, speaks volumes about the extent of his anger management problem.

The lawsuit threats are especially amusing, though. Jim Norman couldn't subpoena his own ass. When I got this, I suggested that he stop talking about suing, and actually do it. I pointed out that there's a fax number for legal issues, which goes directly to Quatloos attorneys, at the top of each forum page. Not surprisingly, he hasn't sued either me or Quatloos; nor will he reveal the names of his alleged attorneys despite repeated requests for that information.

It is absolutely hilarious that he brought up the crap about how we said the IMF and World Bank will lie for him. We never said that. He said that when we pointed out that both organizations had specifically stated in writing that they had no dealings with him and had never even heard of him. We also didn't say anything about him visiting the Pope. That was his lie, to make himself look important to the investors, and we just made fun of it. Of course, considering the wild tales he has told to back up his scam and explain why he hasn't paid anyone, it should come as no surprise to anyone that he has told so many lies that he can't keep them all straight.

Carmela Kydd, incidentally, is a victim of this scam who was for a short period of time a member of the "Team", but was "fired" for some reason which apparently makes sense only to Jim Norman. She doesn't like him any more than he likes her, incidentally. She discovered Quatloos and spilled the beans about this idiot. When she did that, he lost what little bit of mind he started out with. At one point, one of his minions accused me of being Carmela Kydd. Why, you may ask? Well, because "ElfNinosMom" begins with the letter "E", and Carmela's husband's name also starts with the letter "E". Yeah, that's really good detective work on their part *eyes rolling*. I guess their conclusion makes sense in the BizarroWorld in which these frickin' 'tards reside.

As in the above diatribe, they also keep making weird comments about people making threats against him and the "Team". I have no idea what he's talking about. I certainly have never threatened anyone, nor am I aware of anyone else threatening them with bodily harm. However, it goes without saying that if you're stealing people's money, you're going to majorly piss them off. So I guess it's possible, but if so, those threats aren't coming from Quatloosians. We don't want to see them hurt, we want to see them rot in federal prison. Big difference.

"Kassie" is a "Team" member who came onto Quatloos to lie about the scam on his behalf, and distribute his threats to me. He "fired" her just a couple of days ago, again for reasons which apparently make sense only to Jim Norman; and also accused her of stealing. Apparently everyone steals .... except Jim Norman, naturally. LOL.

Of course, for all anyone really knows, that's just another scam and she really wasn't fired. It never ends with these people. There are scams on top of scams. There are cross-scams. There are people scamming Jim Norman in order to get his victims to give their money to other scammers. Even the victims scam other victims. It's just unbelievable.

At any rate, I'm still laughing uproariously about that bizarre private message from Jim Norman. I even printed it and passed it around at a party I hosted over Thanksgiving weekend, and my guests nearly split a gut laughing at this frickin' 'tard. It's now attractively framed and given a place of honor on my office's "Wall Of Shame".

A few people have asked for their original investment to be returned, which they were repeatedly told in "conference calls" they could do at any time. He has refused to return their money, always accusing them of malfeasance and claiming they instead owe him some astronomical sum (always in the millions) for reasons understandable only to him. To my knowledge, not even one single person has received a cent back from Jim Norman. I am, however, aware of a number of people who have requested a refund, and have been harassed and threatened. Here's a little peek into the way he responds to such requests:

FOLKS SORRY TO SULLY YOUR THANKSGIVING, BUT THIS JERK CALLED ME AT 10 AM MONGERING FOR MONEY, IN FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT HE EMAILED A COLLEAGE WITH THE CONTENT BELOW.

THIS IS THE NARCISISTIC GREED YOU HAVE SEEN HAPPEN WITH MY MONEY. THIS GUY HAS NO IDEA WHO HE MESSED WITH.

HE WILL BE CONTACTED AND BILLED LIKE THEOTHER MONGERING CRETINS SOME OF YOU BROUGHT TO ME, WE JNOW WHO BROUGHT HIM IN AND THEY ARE ALREADY IN THE DOG HOUSE AND ONE HAS BEEN CHARGED BY YOUR TREASURY DEPARTMEBT FOR 3 MNILLION….( some of you have seen the documentation). I AM WAITING TO SEE THE COMMENT FROM MY PERSON AT THE IMF IN REGARDS HIS EMAIL ADDRESS AND STATEMENT.

This ass had the GALL to call me after knowing that I had read his comments????????

Then of course the ass named Jim Norman had the gall to bother people on Thanksiving in order to whine about how one of his victims had the "gall" to ask for his own money to be returned. What a crybaby.

Of course the guy knew "who he messed with". He had messed with the creep who had stolen his money, by playing Master of the Painfully Obvious in saying that an alleged email from the IMF was a fraud (after he made a call to Geneva, from which the email allegedly originated, and heard this for himself). Jim Norman, however, doesn't seem to understand that the money he borrowed is not his money. The money belongs to the people who loaned it to him. So Jim Norman can bill the "mongering cretin" for a quadrillion dollars, and it's meaningless except for the humor factor. I am hoping, however, that he will forge yet another document from the US Department of the Treasury. There's nothing like a charge of conspiracy to defraud the United States to get these scammers sent to prison where they belong. Two such forgeries would seal his fate.

Another common ploy he utilizes to silence his victim detractors is to falsely accuse them of committing an illegal act. See, he regularly accuses them of usury ( i.e., charging an illegal interest rate). For some reason he doesn't understand that, since he as the borrower set the rate, usury laws don't apply. Nevertheless, the ploy works on at least some of the victims. Afraid of being sued or charged with a crime, and brainwashed by this idiot into believing that he is a world-class financial expert, they simply resign themselves to their fate rather than contacting the authorities to make a fraud complaint against him, or contacting an attorney to file suit.

Sometimes he will get angry and tell a victim that he is giving them back only their principal, and not the interest rate he promised .... but, he's not going to send them anything until "after [his] business is concluded". Well, since there is no account and no money, his "business" will never be concluded. Duh.

The interesting question is, what makes anyone think this guy has $156 million in the first place? He certainly didn't earn it, nor did he inherit it. He is a frustrated jazz drummer who has two self-released CDs. His music is New Age crap, basically. He didn't make that kind of money from his music, that's for sure. He didn't even make enough money from his music to invest it and make anything even approaching that kind of money. In fact, it's altogether possible that he lost money on those CDs, since he financed them himself.

I can't be sure, but it's a distinct possibility that - at least in the beginning - Jim Norman was himself the victim of a scam. See, this entire situation stinks of a Nigerian advance-fee scam, also known as a 419 scam. Most of the readers of this blog have probably received at least one piece of this kind of spam. There's always a sob story about how somebody (usually in Africa) died and left zillions behind, and a relative or Barrister is trying to find someone in the US with whom to share the fortune. It's pretty funny stuff, but a lot of people fall for it. I suspect this not only because he's obviously not very intelligent, but also because he has all kinds of people - for example, a so-called "Justice Minister" apparently from Cote d'Ivoire, one of the scam capitals of the world - who he claims are helping him with this money. He's sending a lot of it overseas, to a business in the United Kingdom and elsewhere. That's typical of Nigerian scams.

Is it even possible that anyone is such a complete frickin' 'tard that they not only fall for a Nigerian scam, but continue to fall for it over a period of years? The answer to that question is yes. I haven't seen it on this scale, but it is indeed possible.

So either Jim Norman has come up with this scam on his own, or he's being scammed himself because he's stupid enough to believe that someone in Africa placed $156 million on deposit for him. Then it becomes more akin to the Spanish Prisoner scam, in which to release the funds, he must come up with large amounts of cash over and over again.

Either way - whether he came up with it on his own or has been scammed himself, or some combination of the two - there is no doubt whatsoever that Jim Norman stands head and shoulders above the competition for the "Frickin' 'Tard of the Year" award.

New Blog: "Gene Chapman For President of the United States of America, Incorporated"

Since Gene Chapman is running for President of the United States of America, Incorporated, I decided to give him his own ENM-style blog. Enjoy!

www.chapmanforpresident.blogspot.com

Yeah, guess he should have grabbed that url before I did. LOL

TogaDude For President of the United States of America, Inc.

Gene "TogaDude" Chapman - a self-proclaimed exorcist of buildings and the world's only living multiple "death faster", who also applied for a "self-immolation permit" and later tried to set himself on fire in front of an IRS building while driving an RV with a leaky propane tank - has announced his candidacy for President of the United States of America, Inc.

No, that's not a typo. Apparently Gene has fallen for the conspiracy theory that the United States is a corporation.

Whew-boy.

What makes this interesting is that the United States is not a corporation despite what a lot of wingnuts like Gene think.

His campaign team is a who's who of hilarious tax deniers. Robert Clarkson, the lawyer disbarred for stealing a poor woman's welfare check, is his campaign manager for the southeastern states. Doug Kenline, who has been fighting with the IRS for years to the neverending amusement of many, is his webmaster (although he only has a blog, so I don't know why he even needs a webmaster - this isn't rocket science, after all).

Gene's platform is interesting as well. His solution to conflict is to just nuke a 50-square-mile area whenever anybody pisses him off. No, I'm not kidding. So if you thought Dubya was a dangerous warmonger, imagine how dangerous TogaPrez would be.

Bizarre Canadian Scam Targets US Citizens

Please allow me to introduce you to James David Phillip Victor Norman, a frustrated drummer from Canada who has fallen for more than one 419 scam (also known as "Nigerian scams"), and actually convinced Americans to finance the money he sends to the scammers, to the tune of millions.

I swear, I'm not making this up even though it's so bizarre that you will undoubtedly think otherwise. However, let me start out by telling you that the name of his alleged organization, "Espavo", means "thank you for taking your power". Well, some people say power is money, and if so, the Espavo Foundation is aptly named because this guy has taken a lot of people's money.

First, some background.

Jim Norman claims to have $156 million in a foreign bank account which was frozen by the US government following 9/11, under authority of The Patriot Act. However, the Patriot Act doesn't give the United States the power to freeze a foreign bank account; and that's not even getting into the not-insignificant fact that the United States has no jurisdiction over any foreign bank account. You can read all about the banking provisions of the USA Patriot Act for yourself.

He claims to have an account with the World Bank, although the World Bank only deals with countries, and never with individuals. Two separate representatives of the World Bank have stated that they don't know who he is, that the account form he showed prospective investors is a fraud, and that his claims with regard to the World Bank are a fraud. Yes, they actually used the word "fraud" in writing. Is it even a possibility that he's telling the truth about the World Bank? See for yourself that's it's not possible, by reading the World Bank website.

He claims the International Monetary Fund is also involved with his "portfolio", even though the IMF has specifically denied even knowing who he is, denied sending the documents in question, and furthermore they also only deal with countries. You can read all about the International Monetary Fund - and understand why he cannot possibly be telling the truth - on their website.

He claims the International Court of Justice at The Hague (which he calls the World Court) has made decisions in his case, even though they have no jurisdiction to hear anything involving him (again, because he's not a country) and there is no record or even a hint that they have any earthly idea who this guy is. The truth is that the International Court of Justice is the judicial organ of the United Nations, only deals with member countries of the United Nations, and every single case they have ever heard, and every pending case, is listed clearly on their website.

In other words, this makes no sense whatsoever to anyone who bothers to check out his fantastical claims. Those who don't check him out are always going to lose their money. How much money are we talking, you may ask? I've been able to confirm well over a million dollars; some estimate it to be as much as $4 million.

Bear in mind, this scam has been going on for four years, even though his "investors" were each supposed to be paid within a few weeks. He always has an excuse for why he doesn't pay and, although the excuses are akin to "the dog ate my homework", many, many people continue to believe him.

This is how the scam works.

Jim Norman has "facilitators" who solicit people to invest in his so-called "project". The reason given these poor gullible folks as to why he needs the money has to do with fines, fees, and other facially false payments that allegedly must be made to release his nonexistent funds (typical of 419 scams). "Investors" are given a promissory note, obviously not written by an attorney, which states that they are to be paid the principal sum plus an astounding 760% interest in a period of approximately two weeks. In other words, for each 10K invested, the investor is supposed to receive $76,000 in two weeks.

Yeah, I know, anybody with even a lick of common sense should have known this was nothing but a scam, but you might be shocked at the people who believe Jim Norman. That list includes attorneys, believe it or not. All the money changes hands by wire transfer. And once the money has been sent ... well, the old saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" takes on a whole new meaning.

Some people have given him $5,000. Others have given him as much as $450,000. The sums are staggering, when you consider how facially ridiculous his claims are, and how easy it is to ascertain that he is lying.

So, why do people "invest" in the Jim Norman Project? Simple greed and gross gullibility. He actually convinces these people that he has contacts in international finance, that he has the ability to operate as a country, and that the paltry interest rates one usually sees do not apply in his world. He has also claimed that he is opening his own Swiss bank. Not a bank account, mind you. A bank, which he is calling Banque du Espavo. Shockingly, people believe him when he makes those claims. What surprises me most is the number of "investors" who still believe him, despite the fact that his claims have been thoroughly debunked.

For example, he presented a document which he stated was from the United States Department of the Treasury. This document states that he is to be paid the sum of $2 million from a former "facilitator" who allegedly defamed him and tried to steal his nonexistent portfolio.

Stop the boat. The US Department of the Treasury has no authority to award damages to him, and no jurisdiction to award damages, much less to hear a case involving money which allegedly belongs to a Canadian citizen, being held in another country. Add to that the fact that it references the Ivory Coast, one of the scam capitols of the world, and it's obvious what's really going on. The document is, in fact, a forgery, as has been confirmed by multiple sources within the Department of the Treasury. That being said, it wasn't necessary to ask if it was a forgery, since it was a really bad forgery. In particular, note that the words on the seal state "Dept. of Treasury". However, it's actually called "Department of the Treasury". That's not even getting into how the real US Department of the Treasury never issues documents which makes it appear that everyone there writes as if English is their second language. LOL

There was a document allegedly from the International Monetary Fund, which contains the name of a real official at that agency. Note that the name of the person in question is in a different font from the rest of the document. Also, it is interesting to note that the official in question has stated unequivocally that she did not send that document. Considering that she was educated at Harvard, I find it hard to believe that she writes like a Nigerian scammer. Needless to say, the IMF is investigating this matter.

Then there are the Spanish documents, variously from la Caixa Bank (an institution which is regularly named in such scams) and even the Spanish counterpart to the Internal Revenue Service.

According to the Spanish tax document (which is written in Spanish, so his investors just took his word for what it said) he is requesting a tax deduction due to maternity. It also says that he is the proud mother of two sons, both named after him. Now, I don't keep up with all the latest scientific advances, but the last time I checked, it is a biological impossibility for a man to be pregnant.

I told you, this stuff is unbelievable. Many of his "investors" refuse to believe it's a scam even though the evidence has been presented to them repeatedly. Many if not most will not go to law enforcement. Why? A review of the investor list shows that many of the investors are scammers themselves.

I have to admit, it doesn't break my heart when a scammer gets scammed, especially in a scam this blatant.

Not all of his investors are scammers, though. Some of them are elderly. One elderly investor wrote to him after he asked for even more money, saying that she has no money left but that she trusts him to pay off the principal plus interest. She doesn't understand that he is a scammer, much less that her money is gone forever. Now, that pisses me off.

In the meantime, he has sent photos to his "investors" of all the things he has bought. Strangely enough, for the most part he just poses with things which belong to other people, and the one expensive vehicle which was his has been repossessed due to his having passed a counterfeit check in payment (more details below). Even his fiancee is fake. All the photos of her are obviously fashion photography shots, and the only one of them allegedly together is merely a shadow of two arms, holding hands. The girl is real, the relationship is not real. Obviously, this guy lives in a world the rest of us can't see.

Jim Norman rarely speaks for himself, preferring instead to implicate various females in the United States to do his dirty work for him. He threatened to sue me, as did one of those females. I laughed my ass off about that, I have to admit. When he realized that wasn't going to work, he had another one of his pathetic minions tell me that I was going to be "FIRED!" from Quatloos. That was even more hilarious, since I'm just a volunteer there and exposing people like him is what Quatloos does.

I figure that, at this rate in his bizarro game of reverse threats, he will eventually buy me something really nice in an attempt to intimidate me. LOL

Jim Norman does occasionally communicate for himself. When he does, it's like reading the output of a random word generator. He makes threats, he tries to intimidate people, he calls people names, he makes it clear that the people who loaned him money aren't as good as him, and he just generally terrorizes his investors and anyone else who dares to question His Good Self (if the term "My Good Self" sounds familiar, you picked it up off emails from 419 scammers, and Jim has repeatedly used that term in his "updates" and emails).

Just to give you an idea of his idiocy, here's a private message he had one of his "Team" members send to me:

CARM was also in direct relations with the perpetrator as stated on the Treasury Document, I state unequivocally in the world I work in, we don't need forgery charges refuted in chat rooms INSTIGATED BY PEOPLE WE HAVE FIRED, this is preposterous, TRITE, and not a place to have my International dealing subjected to.....PERIOD. I have LAWYERS AND LAW FIRMS FOR THAT. I have been on the net since its conception, "Jim Norman & Grafite" SEARCH WITH PARENTHESES, seen all kinds of forums that attract the sick that hide behind handles and false credentials, AND HOP FROM ROOM TO ROOM SPEWEING OPINIONS AS FACT, consummate GARBAGE. You think the FBI, CIA, ECOWAS, IMF, WBG, RCMP, ENTERTAIN THESE FORUMS AS A BASE FOR THEIR INVOLVEMENT? MUCH LESS IN MY CASE WHERE I AM IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH THESE ORGANIZATIONS, ALL THROUGH LAW FIRMS, FORENSIC ACCOUNTANTING AND COLLEAGUES BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO, ALL PROFESSIONAL IN EXECUTION, MUCH LESS ABOUT MATTERS THAT A CERMELLA KYDD HAS NO IDEA OF AND ARE IN A TOTAL LEAGUE ABOVE AND BEYOND "INTERNET FORUMS". I AM NOT A NEOPHYTE AT ANY OF THIS NET STUFF AND HAVE MORE THAN ONE PRESENCE HERE, ARCHIVAL, MERCHANT CREDIT STATUS AT TIMES AS WELL; ONE DOES NOT GET MERCHANT STATUS ON LINE CASUALLY. WHAT IS ALL THIS FORGERY CRAP, WHAT CEO NEEDS TO GO TO SOME CHAT ROOM AND SEND PROOF?!?!?!?!?! NOT TO MENTION READ DEATH THREATS TO STAFF????? Ego is one thing but ID is totally out of whack here. THE GAME STOPS, CHARGES AS STATED BY KASSIE ARE BUILDING AGAINST CARMELA KYDD AND HER COLLEAGUE HAS FACED CHARGES AND LOST TO THE TUNE OF 3 MILLION. HE LIED BUT NEVER THREATENED, SHE HAS THREATENED, DO YOU THINK IN TIME SHE AND THOSE THAT ARE HER COHORTS IN WHAT IS A "CRIME" WILL GET OFF ANY EASIER? You think you are dealing with some subservient to your forum that needs to banter here? I have lawyers that are versed with Internet law; I have been here for DECADES. Not ONE person from the room has had the COURAGE to contact the email address that Kassie posted for dialogue with my Company and the fact that I would stoop to this level to facilitate myopic children with delusions of grandeur waste my staffs time. That a room facilitator con posture in some all knowing stance DEMANDING PROOF FOR HER FORUM IS DELLUSIONAL, I SUBPENA EVIDENCE AND GET IT WHEN I NEED IT, AND THE FORUM MAY SOON FACE WHATEVE LEGALITYS IT TAKES IF IT IS PROVEN THAT IT AIDS AND ABETS THREATS TO MY STAFF OR I. And wallowing in the rooms, facilitating garbage like "THE IMF AND WBG WILL LIE FOR HIS FOUNDATION TO PROTECT HIM...HE HAS VISITED THE VATICAN, HE IS A DANGEROUSE MAN" ?!?!?!....Listen, go edit comic books for a living, this forum is a DUMB UNPRODUCTIVE pastime. Go into the Health Industry and specialize in COLONICS, this is more productive at flushing out the truth, than the garbage you ALLOW, take responsibility for fueling in your...... FORUM????

Now, why would I contact this ass clown at his hotmail address, when I already know what I need to know about him? I wouldn't, because it's a waste of my time. I expose scams. I don't get into pissing contests with scammers unless it's necessary for my purposes. Besides, I already know that he harasses the hell out of people once he has their email address, and that he regularly traces IPs specifically for harassment purposes. Yeah, I know, I could mask my IP. However, he sent this message to me via the Quatloos internal messaging system, so why do I need to send him an email at all? The one and only reason he wanted people to email him is so that he could figure out which ones of his victims were blowing the whistle on him. I'm not a victim, but there's at least one in my area, so I'm not going to set them up to get harassed by a lunatic.

As for the comment about him being dangerous .... I never said that he is dangerous, so that might be a Freudian slip on his part. The fact is, I don't know that he's dangerous, but I don't know that he's not dangerous, either. The above message alone, however, speaks volumes about the extent of his anger management problem.

The lawsuit threats are especially amusing, though. Jim Norman can't even spell subpoena, and in fact couldn't subpoena his own ass. When I got this, I suggested that he stop talking about suing, and actually do it. I pointed out that there's a fax number for legal issues, which goes directly to Quatloos attorneys, at the top of each forum page. Not surprisingly, he hasn't contacted Quatloos attorneys, much less sued either me or Quatloos; nor will he reveal the names of his alleged attorneys despite repeated requests for that information.

It is absolutely hilarious that he brought up the crap about how I said the IMF and World Bank will lie for him. I never said that. He said that when I pointed out that both organizations had specifically stated in writing that they had no dealings with him and had never even heard of him. I also didn't say anything about him visiting the Pope. That was his lie, to make himself look important to the investors, and I just made fun of it. Of course, considering the wild tales he has told to back up his scam and explain why he hasn't paid anyone, it should come as no surprise to anyone that he has told so many lies that he can't keep them all straight.

Carmela Kydd, incidentally, is a victim of this scam who was for a short period of time a member of the "Team", but was "fired" for some reason which apparently makes sense only to Jim Norman. She doesn't like him any more than he likes her, incidentally. She discovered Quatloos and spilled the beans about this idiot, back when I was moderating the scam forums. When she did that, he lost what little bit of mind he started out with. He and his puppets are so obsessed with her that, at one point, one of his minions accused me of being Carmela Kydd. Why, you may ask? Well, because "ElfNinosMom" begins with the letter "E", and Carmela's husband's name also starts with the letter "E". Yeah, that's really good detective work on their part *eyes rolling*. I guess their conclusion makes sense in the BizarroWorld in which these frickin' 'tards reside.

As in the above diatribe, they also keep making weird comments about people making threats against Jim and the "Team". I have no idea what he's talking about. I certainly have never threatened anyone, nor am I aware of anyone else threatening any of them with bodily harm. However, it goes without saying that, if you're stealing people's money, you're going to majorly piss them off. So I guess it's possible that he and the "Team" been threatened, but if so, those threats aren't coming from me, or anyone I know. I don't want to see Jim or his "team" physically injured, I want to see them rot in federal prison. Big difference.

"Kassie" is a "Team" member who came onto Quatloos to lie about the scam on his behalf, and distribute his threats to me. He "fired" her just a couple of days after the above was sent to me, again for reasons which apparently make sense only to Jim Norman; and he also accused her of stealing. Apparently everyone steals .... except Jim Norman, naturally. LOL.

Of course, for all anyone really knows, that's just another scam and she really wasn't fired. It never ends with these people. There are scams on top of scams. There are cross-scams. There are people scamming Jim Norman in order to get his victims to give their money to other scammers. Even the victims scam other victims. It's just unbelievable.

At any rate, I'm still laughing uproariously about that bizarre private message from Jim Norman. I even printed it and passed it around at a party I hosted over Thanksgiving weekend, and my guests nearly split a gut laughing at this frickin' 'tard. It's now attractively framed and given a place of honor on my office's "Wall Of Shame", which includes a fake multi-million dollar judgment against "Elfninos Mom" from Paul Andrew Mitchell, this blog's namesake. But, I digress.

A few victims of the Jim Norman Project have asked for their original investment to be returned, which they were repeatedly told in "conference calls" they could do at any time. He has refused to return their money, always accusing them of malfeasance and claiming they instead owe him some astronomical sum (always in the millions) for reasons understandable only to him. To my knowledge, not even one single person has received a cent back from Jim Norman. I am, however, aware of a number of people who have requested a refund, and have been harassed and threatened. Here's a little peek into the way he responds to such requests:

FOLKS SORRY TO SULLY YOUR THANKSGIVING, BUT THIS JERK CALLED ME AT 10 AM MONGERING FOR MONEY, IN FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT HE EMAILED A COLLEAGE WITH THE CONTENT BELOW.

THIS IS THE NARCISISTIC GREED YOU HAVE SEEN HAPPEN WITH MY MONEY. THIS GUY HAS NO IDEA WHO HE MESSED WITH.

HE WILL BE CONTACTED AND BILLED LIKE THEOTHER MONGERING CRETINS SOME OF YOU BROUGHT TO ME, WE JNOW WHO BROUGHT HIM IN AND THEY ARE ALREADY IN THE DOG HOUSE AND ONE HAS BEEN CHARGED BY YOUR TREASURY DEPARTMEBT FOR 3 MNILLION….( some of you have seen the documentation). I AM WAITING TO SEE THE COMMENT FROM MY PERSON AT THE IMF IN REGARDS HIS EMAIL ADDRESS AND STATEMENT.

This ass had the GALL to call me after knowing that I had read his comments????????

Then of course the ass named Jim Norman had the gall to bother people on Thanksiving, in order to whine about how one of his victims had the "gall" to ask for his own money to be returned.

Of course the guy knew "who he messed with". He had messed with the creep who had stolen his money, by playing Master of the Painfully Obvious in saying that an alleged email from the IMF was a fraud (after he made a call to Geneva, from which the email allegedly originated, and heard this for himself). Jim Norman, however, doesn't seem to understand that the money he borrowed is not his money. The money belongs to the people who loaned it to him. So Jim Norman can bill the "mongering cretin" for a quadrillion dollars, and it's meaningless except for the humor factor. I am hoping, however, that he will forge yet another document from the US Department of the Treasury, claiming to have a judgment against someone else. There's nothing like a charge of conspiracy to defraud the United States, to get these scammers sent to prison where they belong. Two such forgeries would seal his fate.

Another common ploy he utilizes to silence his victim detractors is to falsely accuse them of committing an illegal act. See, he regularly accuses them of usury (i.e., charging an illegal interest rate). For some reason he doesn't understand that, since he as the borrower set the rate, usury laws don't apply. Unfortunately, this ploy works on most of the victims. Afraid of being sued or charged with a crime, and brainwashed by this idiot into believing that he is a world-class financial expert who can operate as a country, they simply resign themselves to their fate rather than contacting the authorities to make a fraud complaint against him, or contacting an attorney to file suit.

Sometimes he will get angry and tell a victim that he is giving them back only their principal, and not the interest rate he promised .... but, he's not going to send them anything until "after [his] business is concluded". Well, since there is in reality no account and no money, his "business" will never be concluded. Duh.

The interesting question is, what makes anyone think this guy has $156 million in the first place? He certainly didn't earn it, nor did he inherit it. He is a frustrated jazz drummer who has two self-released CDs. His music is New Age crap, basically. He didn't make that kind of money from his music, that's for sure. He didn't even make enough money from his music to invest it and make anything even approaching that kind of money. In fact, it's altogether possible that he lost money on those CDs, since he financed them himself.

Is it even possible that anyone is such a complete frickin' 'tard that they not only fall for a Nigerian scam, but fall for more than one of them and continue to fall for them over a period of years? The answer to that question is yes. I haven't seen it on this scale, but it is indeed possible.

Jim Norman's scam more closely resembles the Spanish Prisoner scam in which, to release the nonexistent funds, he must come up with large amounts of cash over and over again.

Jim has since been sued by Alterna Credit Union in Canada, due to an altered Spanish check he passed. The check was originally for a few dollars, and it was altered to hundreds of thousands. He sent most of it to 419 scammers, but decided to treat himself and buy a $170,000 car. The credit union put a hold on the check, but financial institutions can only hold funds for 10 days. It took a month for the credit union to discover that the check was counterfeit, since it had originated overseas. Jim claimed the money was due him as the result of a transaction involving diamonds, but he only knew the first name of the man with whom he was allegedly doing business, so obviously that was yet another scam. Jim lost the lawsuit, not surprisingly, but amusingly had convinced his attorneys (real attorneys) that he really did have all that money. ROFLMAO Eventually, because they hadn't been paid at all, they withdrew from the case. The vehicle was sold at auction, and Jim has made up all kinds of stories about getting multi-million dollar judgments againt the credit union, none of which is true.

His latest fish tale is that his "project" was mentioned on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Um, yeah. That never happened.

The saga continues, of course, and I'll update this blog as it unfolds.

Funniest Divorce Petition .... Ever

divorcedoc_1.pdf (application/pdf Object)

This is, hands down, one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It was written by an attorney back in 1985 - handwritten, I might add, complete with handrawn illustrations.

He says, among many other things, that the marriage lasted until "she got PISSED OFF and HAULED ASS with the car, the Mastercard..."

He says the marriage became "INSUPPORTABLE" because of a clash of personalities between himself (the petitioner) and his wife (the respondent), "but chiefly because of conflict of personalities between RESPONDENT and RESPONDENT that destroyed the legitimate ends of the marriage (good sex!) and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation (unless she consents to having her MOUTH SURGICALLY CLOSED)"

Even I couldn't make this up, hehehe.

However, I have a question. Wouldn't having her mouth surgically closed negate the "good sex" part of the equation? There's a lot more to sex than just intercourse, after all; and good sex requires one helluva lot more, and you need a mouth for that. ;-)

The guy goes on to ask that the property be divided according to who has possession .... then he goes on to explain that he doesn't mean possession by spirits like you see in movies, although his wife could "pass muster for a stand-in for "SYBLE" or the girl in "The Exorcist.""

What's really funny about this is that he goes on and on about how much he loves her. Then he asks that the court change his wife's name to Bella Abzug, Jr. He ends it with the comment "screw you, Bitch, I filed first and your suit is subject to a plea in abatement"

Yep, if that's not love, I don't know what is. ROFLMAO

Anyway, click on the link and see it for yourself. What a hoot!

Jim Norman's Check Shenanigans

Readers of this blog will undoubtedly remember Jim Norman, the recipient of the First Annual Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Award. If you haven't read it I strongly suggest you do so, because it's important to understanding this guy's many scams, not to mention how he thinks and conducts himself (which will help you understand this entry much, much better). That previous entry can be found on this blog's December 2005 archives at http://elfninosmom.blogspot.com/2005/12/first-annual-frickin-tard-of-year.html.

To recap and update for those who have already read it, Jim tells "investors" that he has $168 million in a foreign bank, frozen by the Patriot Act. In exchange for them sending him funds for alleged fees and fines, he promises them a staggering 760% interest for just a couple of weeks' use of their money.

A fool and his money are soon parted, and this is no exception. He hasn't paid anyone a red cent, although he sent out an email at the end of the year that everyone would be paid within a month. Several months later, he claimed that the payment had been sent to the wrong account by his cohort Jeanne. Interestingly enough, Jeanne sends money to the wrong place all the time, if Jim Norman is to be believed. In the interim, a Canadian court has specifically found as a fact that Jim Norman has lived hand-to-mouth for forty years, and is broke. That I don't doubt, with one exception. Obviously, he didn't tell them about the millions he had collected from people in the United States, and wired to various offshore accounts.

Here's his latest scam. Apparently Jim passed a bad check to Alterna Credit Union, up in the Toronto area. It wasn't just any bad check, either. It was a check written on an account at a Spanish bank, and the amount had been altered from 12 Euros to 500,000 Euros.

That's one hell of an alteration. No way was something like that just a mistake.

The credit union for some reason didn't put a hold on it, and didn't call the Spanish bank to confirm funds. However, in their defense, Jim had this account since 1999 in the name of his company, Thrum Records, so they probably figured, what the hell. Bear in mind, they couldn't have put a hold on it long enough to find out it was bogus, since it takes so long to find out that kind of information on an international check (which is why Nigerian scammers pull this stunt regularly, and their victims get stuck holding the proverbial bag). Now, he had never had anywhere near that much money in that account, but then again, most people who have an account that long aren't going to come in out of the blue with a counterfeit check. I'm guessing he had a fish tale for the teller as well - probably something along the lines of how some Spanish investor was investing into his business, or else that they had bought distribution rights to his New Age crap CDs.

The credit union sued him when they found out the check was counterfeit. However, in the meantime, Jim had withdrawn all but $5000 (Canadian) of the money. He bought all kinds of stuff, including a $171,000 Porsche Cayenne (one of the ugliest cars ever made, hands down, and I don't care how much it costs. Ugly is ugly). He sent photos of himself in that car to his investors as proof of his "abundance". He also sent a great deal of it to numbered accounts in Cote d'Ivoire, Africa, which just happens to be one of the scam capitals of the world, and hundreds of thousands to some company in Taiwan.

The Canadian courts are extremely polite, but basically they adjudged that he was full of shit, and probably not all there.

The court's finding on the credit union's Motion for Summary Judgment is reproduced below. I have highlighted some portions to further show you why a Canadian court has agreed that this man was the right choice for the Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Award.

COURT FILE NO.: 05-CV-290223PD2

DATE: 20060209

ONTARIO
SUPERIOR COURT OF JUSTICE


B E T W E E N:

ALTERNA SAVINGS AND CREDIT UNION LIMITED
Plaintiff

- and -

DAVID PHILIP JAMES NORMAN also known as JIM NORMAN, THRUM RECORDS INC. AND DOWNTOWN FINE CARS INC.
Defendants

Robert G. Tanner, for the Plaintiff

Roberto R. Cucci, for the Defendant, Mr. Norman

Brooke Shulman, for the Defendant, Downtown Fine Cars Inc.

HEARD: January 17, 2006

CAMERON J.


THE NATURE OF THE MOTION

[1] The plaintiff moves on December 1, 2005 for Summary Judgment under Rule 20:

(i) a. vesting in the plaintiff title to a motor vehicle currently registered in the name of the defendant David P. J. Norman (“Mr. Norman”) and more particularly described as:

2005 Porsche Truck/V Cayenne Turbo 4, V.I.N. WP1AC29P25LA92028;

b. directing the Sheriff for the City of Toronto to deliver up to the plaintiff or its authorized agents possession of the said vehicle upon payment of any outstanding storage charges or other Sheriff’s fees in respect thereof;

c. in the alternative, directing that the said vehicle be sold and the net proceeds of sale paid to the plaintiff;

d. in the alternative, an Order pursuant to Rule 45.01(2) directing that the said vehicle be sold in such manner and on such terms as are just and that the net proceeds of sale be paid into Court.

(ii) Partial Judgment against the defendants Mr. Norman and Thrum Records Inc. (“Thrum”) in the sum of $69,200.00.

(iii) Amending, if necessary, the Statement of Claim to plead the specific relief requested in paragraph (i) above.

(iv) Awarding the plaintiff costs of this motion on a substantial indemnity basis.


FACTS

[2] On May 5, 1999, Mr. Norman, the president and director of Thrum, applied to the plaintiff Alterna Savings and Credit Loan Limited (then known as “Metro Credit Union”) (“Alterna”) for membership for his corporation Thrum and signed an Operation of Account Agreement including the following terms:

4(b) The Member shall pay to the Credit Union forthwith after demand therefore any indebtedness or liability to the Credit Union in connection with or arising out of the operation of any account of the member together with interest thereon as agreed;

4(c) The Credit Union may charge against the account of the Member the amount of any instrument cashed or negotiated by the Member for the Member or credited to the Member’s account for which payment is not received by the Credit Union. Any expenses incurred by the Credit Union in connection with a dishonoured or unpaid instrument may be charged to the Member’s account.

[3] From the opening of the account until April, 2005 the transactions did not exceed $9,508 nor did the balance exceed $22,601.00.

[4] On April 13th, 2005 Mr. Norman delivered to Alterna for deposit to the Thrum account a draft (“the Spanish draft”) payable to “Thrum Records” in the sum of five hundred thousand Euros (“€500,000.00”) (CDN. $798,950) drawn on the Caja Madrid Bank (“Caja Bank”) in Madrid, Spain. The Thrum account was credited accordingly.

[5] The plaintiff failed to put a “hold” on the funds until the draft was cleared by Caja Bank. The defendant alleges that the plaintiff told the defendant that the Spanish draft had cleared.

[6] Between April 15 and May 5, 2005, Mr. Norman effected withdrawals or transfers of all but $5,324.43 of the funds in the said account, including:

a. cheques payable to Mr. Norman personally for $69,200.00;

b. cheques totalling $171,000.00 payable to Downtown Fine Cars Inc. (“Downtown Cars”) for the purchase of a Porsche automobile in the name of Mr. Norman personally and an additional cheque for $10,000.00 payable to “Totally Wired” for the installation of a sound system therein;

c. a total of US$67,500.00 to a numbered account in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, Africa, and

d. On April 20, 2005 US$220,000.00 or Can $277,768.93 to Lester Lin Company Limited in Taiwan

[7] On May 11, 2005, the Spanish draft was dishonoured by the Caja Bank and on May 11, 2005 was returned as counterfeit, for the reason that the amount thereof had been altered after issuance from €12 to €500,000. The Caja Bank is the second largest bank in Spain.

[8] On May 30, 2005 the plaintiff was advised by fax from the Caja Bank that the cheque “was altered from the original amount of 12 Euros”.

[9] Mr. Norman has stated under oath that he was entitled to the €500,000 as his fee on the sale of a “batch of diamonds” to “a businessman named Mr. Risinger, doing business at the present time in Venezuela” whom Mr. Norman has never met. There is no evidence to support such a business.

[10] Mr. Norman is a jazz musician by profession who has deposed that he has lived a hand-to-mouth existence for forty years, has no substantial assets and is the Judgment-Debtor named in a Judgment outstanding since 2001 in favour of Bread and Roses Credit Union in the sum of $114,000. He is basically broke.

[11] Mr. Norman has stated under oath his belief that there was a technical problem in the transfer of funds from Mr. Risinger’s bank to the Caja Bank, and that as a result, the Caja Bank declined payment of its bank draft, using the only pretext available to it, namely alteration.

[12] Mr. Norman has stated under oath that the €500,000 are still sitting in Mr. Risinger’s bank.

[13] In response to the plaintiff’s demand for reimbursement from Mr. Norman, Mr. Norman has sent numerous emails which are frequently incoherent, which state or otherwise represent that he has “more than enough assets in the bank to pay this off”, that he was scheduled in February 2005 for a private audience with the Pope, that his business is “evaluated and sanctioned by the World Court in Geneva”, that his associate in this transaction managed the account of Nelson Mandela, and that credit union personnel would “have to face retaliation”.

[14] During the course of a meeting held on May 18, 2005 among Mr. Norman, Alterna and their respective counsel, Mr. Norman agreed to refrain from taking delivery of the Porsche motor vehicle referred to above, and provided instructions to his counsel to direct Downtown Cars to retain custody thereof, pending resolution of this dispute.

[15] Contrary to the agreement referred to above, Mr. Norman obtained delivery of the said motor vehicle from Downtown Cars on or before May 25th, 2005.

[16] The statement of claim was issued on May 26, 2005.

[17] On May 31, 2005, the Honourable Mr. Justice Day made an Order, providing, inter alia, that the Sheriff for the City of Toronto shall seize the vehicle described therein, that possession thereof shall be retained by the Sheriff until otherwise ordered by the Court, and that Mr. Norman pay to the plaintiff forthwith costs fixed in the sum of $5,000.00. The vehicle in question, registered in the name of Mr. Norman, was identified as follows:

2005 Porsche Truck/V Cayenne Turbo 4, vehicle identification number WP1AC29P25LA92028

[18] This is a rare vehicle with a luxury bicycle roof rack, special wheels, and a luxury sound system. There are relatively few potential buyers. It is depreciating in value.

[19] Pursuant to the said Order, the vehicle was seized by the Sheriff on June 21, 2005 and remains in the custody of the Sheriff.

[20] Of the amounts drawn against the $798,850.00 credit created on the deposit of the Spanish draft, Alterna has recovered only €100,000 ($151,239.45) on two returned wire-transfers to Spain, leaving a debit balance owing of $641,723.45 together with interest thereon from June 6, 2005.

[21] Since mid-May, 2005, Mr. Norman has, through his counsel, repeatedly assured Alterna’s counsel that repayment in full of the €500,000 would be made within the next few days or the next week. No such payment has ever been received. Nor has any payment been received in respect of the $5,000.00 costs which were ordered fixed and payable forthwith by the Honourable Mr. Justice Day on May 31, 2005.

[22] While in storage with the Sheriff, the Porsche continues to depreciate and is subject to accumulating storage charges. Sheriff’s storage charges accumulate against the vehicle at the rate of $8.00 per day.

[23] The Amended statement of defence and counterclaim was delivered August 3, 2005.

[24] The plaintiff does not have a judgment that would entitle it to either the vehicle or to the proceeds of sale.

[25] Thrum, not Mr. Norman, is the owner of the Alterna account. Mr. Norman is not a party to the account and he has not guaranteed Thrum’s liability to the plaintiff. Mr. Norman acted as agent for Thrum. However, the money was taken from Thrum’s account and transferred to an asset in Mr. Norman’s name or to Mr. Norman personally. He is the alter ego of the corporation. Accordingly, Alterna is entitled to trace the funds to Mr. Norman and to claim them back as unjust enrichment.

[26] Mr. Norman says he paid Thrum liabilities with the $69,200 paid to him personally. However beyond this broad allegation he provides no detail to support the claim.

[27] He says payment to the Ivory Coast account and to Taiwan were for fees required by them.

[28] The plaintiff has claimed against the defendants “payment of the sum of $641,723.45 being the unrecovered balance of $789,850.00 obtained by Norman from the Plaintiff by fraud”.

[29] Mr. Norman alleges a counterclaim for damages for slander by way of set-off to this claim. He says the plaintiff’s allegations about him were disseminated in the business world and to his business contacts before they were repeated in the statement of claim in this action.

Amendment of Pleadings

[30] The plaintiff has moved for changes to the statement of claim which under R. 26 I am bound to grant subject to costs or adjournment because of prejudice. I grant it subject to counsel forthwith amending the statement of claim. The amendment is specific in this motion. See Butler v. Nash, 2003 Carswell Ont. 3879. There was no request for an adjournment to amend the statement of defence. I then proceeded with the motion for summary judgment.

Summary Judgment

Rule 20

[31] After service of the statement of defence, a plaintiff may move with supporting affidavit material or other evidence for summary judgment on all or part of the claim. Unfortunately no statement of claim was filed with the material although a copy was shown to the court.

[32] Rule 20.04(1) contemplates that a complete evidentiary record will be before the motions court judge and there will be nothing further if the issue were to go to trial. There must be a genuine issue, not just a spurious issue, requiring a trial for its resolution. The defendant must put its best foot forward or risk losing. A genuine issue for trial is not raised by a denial in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary and the absence of additional evidence to support the denial.

[33] Where the court is satisfied that the only genuine issue is a question of law, the court may determine the question and grant judgment accordingly: R. 20.04(4).

[34] The defendant argues that the essence of its argument is that the plaintiff’s attempt to create a spell is no substitute for investigation. If an honest man is overtaken by events then he should have more time and one should not pierce the corporate veil except if fraud is proven. Nowhere is it indicated who altered the draft from €12 to €500,000. However, the fact is it was altered.

[35] It is now beyond argument that restitution is an available remedy in cases of proved unjust enrichment. Money, or a benefit, paid by a mistake of fact gives rise to a prima facie case of unjust enrichment unless:

(a) the payer intends that the payee shall have the money at all events, whether the fact is true or false, or is deemed in law so to intend;

(b) the payment is made for good consideration, for instance to discharge a debt owed to the payee (or a principal on whose behalf he is authorized to receive the payment) by the payer or by a third party by whom he is authorized to discharge the debt; or

(c) the payee has changed his position in good faith or is deemed in law to have done so.

See Barclays Bank Ltd. v. W.J. Simms Son & Cooke (Southern) Ltd., [1979] 3 All E.R. 522 at p. 535.

[36] Absent a defence of bona fide purchaser for value, a change in position in good faith, or other recognized defence, a bank is entitled to restitution and the claim may be traced into other assets. Where money is received by the defendant from the plaintiff by mistake of fact, a constructive trust results in order to prevent unjust enrichment. The plaintiff to whom the money rightfully belongs can trace the funds and recover them or the property representing them from an insolvent. Harper v. Royal Bank of Canada (reflex-logo) reflex, (1994), 18 O.R. (3d) 317.

[37] Where money is paid on the supposition that a specific fact is true which would entitle the other to receive it, which fact is untrue and the money would not have been paid if the fact had been known to be untrue, it can be recovered “and it is against conscience to retain it”: Rural Municipality of Shorthoaks v. Mobil Oil Canada, Ltd., [1976] 2 S.C.R. 147 (S.C.C.).

[38] In Royal Bank v. The King, [1931] 2 D.L.R. 685 (Man. K.B.) the court set out the law with respect to the right to recover money paid under mistake of fact:

1. The mistake in paying the money is honest. His last laches or negligence will not of themselves affect his belief. Knowledge will not be imputed to him unless he willfully abstains from inquiry.

2. The mistake must be as between the person paying and the person receiving. The receiver must in some way be a party to the mistake either inducing it, responsible for it or connected with it.

3. The facts, as they are believed to be, impose an obligation to make the payment. The obligation must be legal, equitable or moral. It is not enough that the payment is desirable or advantageous. The compulsion must at least be practical.

4. The receiver of the money has no legal or equitable or moral right to retain the money as against the payer.

Shorthoaks and Royal Bank are cited in Pinnacle Bank, N.A. v. 1317414 Ontario Inc. (c.o.b. Jay-B Conversions), [2002] O.J. No. 281. It that case Kustom bought goods from 1317414 and paid for them twice by having Pinnacle wire funds to 1317414. Pinnacle mistakenly wired twice. 1317414 refused to repay arguing that Kustom owed it additional money. Although the state of the accounts between the companies was in issue, this did not provide 1317414 with any defence.

[39] In River Valley State Bank v. Toronto Dominion Bank, [2002] O.J. 2078 per Master Hawkins, K, a customer of River Valley, presented a $350,000 cheque for deposit. Before the cheque had cleared or been returned, K instructed River Valley to transfer $344,000 to Bedi’s Canadian account. River Valley did so assuming that the $350,000 cheque would be paid. River Valley then learned that the $350,000 cheque was forged and sought to reverse the transfer to Bedi’s account. Bedi’s bank refused to reverse the transfer. The court held that River Valley had made an honest but mistaken belief that the cheque would be honoured. Bedi had received the funds that River Valley paid by mistake. River Valley was entitled to judgment based on either mistake of fact or unjust enrichment. Bedi was enriched. River Valley suffered a corresponding deprivation. The fact that Bedi was owed money by K was not a juristic reason for enrichment with River Valley’s funds. There was no genuine issue of law or fact requiring a trial.

[40] The defendant Mr. Norman has been given 8 months to come up with repayment or a defence to the claim. He has offered only theoretical possibilities, none of which make sense. He has given no supporting facts. The defence says the money remains in Mr. Risinger’s account and was not paid to the defendant. However this is contrary to the fact that he received a cheque for €500,000 from Caja Bank which he gave to the plaintiff for deposit. Caja Bank has said the cheque was for only €12 and has given it to the police.

[41] Alterna has paid the money under an honest mistake in fact that the cheque was valid. The defendant is a party to the mistake. The facts impose an obligation to make the payment. The defendant has no obligation to retain the money as against the plaintiff. The plaintiff is entitled to the proceeds of the cheque.

[42] The defendant used the money obtained from the plaintiff to purchase the vehicle in his name and to pay himself money totalling Can. $69,200. The defendant holds the money in trust for the plaintiff.

Conclusion

[43] I authorize amendment of the statement of claim to include the relief requested in (i) a – d above.

[44] I would award judgment to the plaintiff for Can. $181,000 and for $69,200.

Counterclaim

[45] The defendant counterclaims for damages in defamation based on statements of fraud by Mr. Norman. They allege that Alterna told Downtown Cars, its counsel, a chartered accountant, TD Canada Trust branch at Bloor and Windermere in Toronto, Bank of Montreal, Rexdale and Kipling, Toronto, and others, that Mr. Norman had deposited with the plaintiff a cheque that was counterfeit and that the funds which Thrum paid to Bailey in mid-April of 2005 were obtained by Mr. Norman by fraud.

[46] In my opinion this could raise a genuine issue for trial: Siemens Electric Ltd. v. Unident Ltd., [1999] O.J. No. 575. The counterclaim flows from the same relationship as the claim itself so as to raise the equitable set-off defence. There is no pleading to the counterclaim yet.

[47] I would exercise my discretion to not grant execution on the claim yet but only to pay the $181,000 and the $69,200 into court to the credit of the action.

Sale of Car

[48] The car is likely to deteriorate in value and ought to be sold as quickly as possible under Rule 45.01(2). I order that the car be sold by the sheriff and the proceeds of the sale, net of expenses, be paid into court to the credit of this action, save for $5,000 which shall be paid forthwith to the plaintiff.

[49] Before selling the car the sheriff shall advertise the auction thereof for at least 3 weeks in a magazine or newspaper dedicated, at least in part, to expensive vehicles. The defendant shall be entitled to bid.

Costs

[50] If the parties cannot agree on costs, the plaintiffs shall give me their submissions within 15 days after release of these reasons. The defendant shall respond within 10 days thereafter.

__________________________

CAMERON J.

Released: February 9, 2006

Okay, so just to review, the court clearly found that Jim Norman passed a bogus check, then spent all but 1% of the money. The court also clearly found that the Plaintiff was entitled to recover its money.

But, that's not how Jim Norman reads what we all just read. He is telling his loyal followers (all frickin' 'tards who suffer from functional illiteracy, obviously) that he has a $22 million judgment against the credit union.

Now, nowhere does it say that, folks. You read it for yourself. As of month before last, he hadn't even actually filed a counterclaim for his claim of defamation yet. There definitely hasn't been a trial, much less a judgment. I know this for a fact, because I confirmed it myself.

Even if he does file a counterclaim, he stands approximately the chance of a snowball in hell of winning. After all, a court has already found that he passed a counterfeit check, so why can't the people he defrauded warn others about it before they sue him? I'd want someone to warn me if somebody I was doing business with pulled a stunt like that. In fact, I'd kiss their ass for saving mine. I'll eat my own head if a jury doesn't agree with me that there was no defamation just for warning others that the guy had passed a counterfeit check, especially in an amount that large. After all, truth is an absolute defense to claims of defamation. He would also have to prove malicious intent, and that he was damaged as a result of their actions.

Based on the above court order alone, I cannot imagine anyone could damage Jim Norman's reputation any more than he has damaged it himself.

Whoo-boy.

Now, this is not the only bogus check floating around with Jim Norman's name on it. In fact, there's another, also on a Spanish bank, and this one is in the amount of a staggering $58 million. I don't think he's actually passed it (he sends it out to his so-called "investors" as proof of his "abundance"), but I've reproduced it below for anyone who ever wondered what a $58 million counterfeit check actually looks like.

Don't try this at home though, kiddies. It's an obvious counterfeit, and no bank in its right mind would ever accept it. Plus, you'd go to prison for a very long time if you even tried to pass a counterfeit check. So just say no to being a frickin' 'tard, okay?

At least she gets her mail .....

Injured woman can sue Postal Service - Yahoo! News

The US Supreme Court has ruled that a woman, who fell and suffered wrist and back injuries when she tripped over letters, packages, and periodicals left on her porch, can sue the postal service.

Interestingly, you still can't sue the post office if they don't deliver your mail - yet, others can assume you received something if they mailed it.

Hell, I don't even get half of my mail. I once mailed some things to myself, just to make sure I really wasn't getting all my mail. Out of 10 things mailed, I only got 6. And that was over a year ago.

At any rate, I guess her lawsuit will proceed since the Supreme Court ruled that the postal service is not immune from lawsuit under those specific circumstances.

Man kills roommate over empty toilet paper roll

Man charged in killing over toilet paper - Yahoo! News

A guy bludgeoned his roommate to death with a sledgehammer and claw hammer - to the point that the dead roommate could not be identified, and had to be identified by fingerprints - over an empty roll of toilet paper. :-0

It might be justifiable if the killing was by a woman, and the male roommate had left the toilet seat up. Porcelain is cold as hell in wintertime, and it's not exactly pleasant to fall into cold toilet water, either. Add to that the fact that some men are too stupid to flush, and I can see a bludgeoning over that.

But over an empty roll of toilet paper? I have a feeling that's not the real reason why this man was killed. If I hear anything else about this, I'll update the blog.

This guy is one sick frickin' 'tard

Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006

This idiot made up a "Contract of Wifely Expectations", in which he tries to control every single aspect of his wife's life. Basically, he was demanding that she be his sex slave, and he was extremely specific about what he expected from her.

She should have pulled a Lorena Bobbit. Why? Because this sicko eventually kidnapped her (and that's not even going into the kiddie porn charges pending against him).

She never signed it. Smart woman. Not smart enough, though, because she should have divorced his ass long before he kidnapped her. I'd guess she was scared to death of him.

Hey, everybody's got to sleep sometime. Slip some Seconal into his bedtime drink, tie him to the bed, and beat the living hell out of him. That's what I'd have done when confronted with a freak of this magnitude and, no, I'm not kidding. I'd teach him a lesson he'd never forget. And I'd have that "Contract of Wifely Expectations" to use at trial to show I was a victim of Spousal Abuse Syndrome. I'd walk, no doubt about it. I doubt he'd ever walk again, though, because I'd break both his frickin' legs. By that, I mean compound fractures - you know, the kind where the bone is broken so badly that it's sticking through the skin.

Yep, I'd fuck him up. So would a lot of women.

Then again, I think somebody like him would probably figure out that women like me are likely to do something like that, so he almost certainly chose his victim very carefully.

What I can't help but wonder is how many men pull stunts like this so-called contract. A problem I've had since I was widowed is men trying to control me. Um, that's never going to happen. Duh. I've only met one man who didn't try to control me, in fact. What the hell's up with that?

I once dated a cop (a mistake I'll never make again), and within a month he wrote out on an envelope what he expected of me. I laughed, put it in my purse as evidence in case I needed it, and told him in no uncertain terms to go fuck himself. I made it abundantly clear that if he came within a mile of me from that moment on, I'd get a restraining order and he'd lose his job. Yet, he seemed very surprised by my reaction, so I guess other women had gone along with it. It wasn't that there was anything really weird on there, it was just the point that he was giving me a list of what he expected from me (including regular sex - but of course, after I tossed him away like a piece of trash, he got no sex at all. Oops.) So I strongly suspect this kind of attempted control of women is probably a lot more common than people think.

There's something seriously wrong with any man who tries to control a woman in that manner. They need a psychiatrist, to say the least.

Anyway, surf on over and read what this particular freak wrote out. What a bizarro weirdo.

Who determines what is newsworthy?

Foxy Felon Threatens TSG - February 21, 2006

The Smoking Gun got a letter from a law firm insisting that they remove a photo of a felon from their website. Admittedly, this particular felon is attractive. She also sold 49 Ecstasy tablets to an undercover cop, and The Smoking Gun got the information from public records. In fact, her photo and other identifying information is listed on the website of the Florida Department of Corrections.

So why isn't this law firm going after the Florida Department of Corrections? Could it be because they can't get any money from them, but they might be able to get some money from Court TV? That would be my guess, since in that same letter they also demand information on Court TV's insurance policies.

The law firm claims that people are commenting about her on blogs, that one blog even records sightings of her, and others admit that they use her photo for self-gratification purposes. They seem to think their client is in danger. They don't name these blogs, though. Obviously, it's not mine.

Here's a question for you. Why isn't anyone concerned about the danger inherent in someone selling 49 Ecstasy tablets? Geez Louise, that's enough to kill somebody.

So, who decides whether it's newsworthy? The media, or the lawyers? If there's nothing libelous in there, it's public record and I don't see why it can't be placed on a website run by Court TV. After all, she did commit a crime and was found guilty. In fact, she's still on probation.

The Smoking Gun not only printed the letter from the lawyer, but also refused to remove the entry. LOL

Girl's prosthetic legs stolen not once, but twice

Girl's prosthetic legs stolen for second time - Yahoo! News

Now, this is weird. Apparently some frickin' 'tard keeps stealing this poor kid's prosthetic legs. She has two, one she uses to play on the school softball team and one she uses everyday. She apparently lost one of her legs when she was accidentally hit by a driver while standing in front of her middle school a couple of years ago.

Obviously, this kid doesn't let the fact that she lost her leg stop her from doing anything. Good for her!

But now, she has no prosthetic legs at all, because the thief stole both of them. It doesn't really say, but it appears that she was gone out of the house without her prosthesis when they were stolen. Funny thing is, her room was ransacked, but the only things missing were her prosthetic legs.

Now, why would anybody steal a teenage girl's prosthetic legs, or anyone's prosthetic legs for that matter? More to the point, why would this happen more than once? The last time one of her legs was stolen, it was found some time later in the girl's backyard, apparently thrown there by the thief.

There was an episode of The Sopranos, where Tony Soprano's weirdo sister Janice stole a woman's prosthetic leg to get back at her for refusing to return some old records the then-deceased Soprano mother had given to her prior to her death.

That woman sent the Russian mafia after the person who stole her leg. Maybe that's what these people need to do - send some really scary people to beat the living hell out of whoever did this. I bet they'd never do it again.

"Psychic" bilks victims, cop helps her get away with it

"Psychic" admits bilking elderly clients - Yahoo! News

Okay, here's a woman who stole over $2 million from people over an eight-year period. She did so by preying on the elderly and those with incurable diseases.

She actually told these people that she could cure them by praying over their money, and they believed it.

Okay, so fake psychics are hardly new. Remember Miss Cleo? Boy, that one was a real piece of work. She was also big in Florida. Apparently Floridians fall for this kind of scam all the time. You'd think they'd learn.

What is more interesting about this is that a police detective pleaded guilty to corruption charges in the same case. Apparently he used his position to extort money from the fake psychic, and kept her out of jail while he was supposedly investigating her. He also lied to local and federal authorities about how he was handling the case.

Dirty cops really piss me off, especially when he had a responsibility to protect the sick and elderly marks of this scammer.

They're both scheduled to be sentenced in May. The scammer faces up to 15 years, and the cop faces up to 5 years.

Boy, I'd hate to be a cop in Florida State Prison, but this guy asked for it.

Bush/Cheney - No Bravery

Bravery

It takes a while to load, but it's well worth the wait.

It's a damn shame that they always use such whiny music in the background of these things, though. What they really need is some kick-ass Vietnam-era anti-war tunes.

I'd recommend "People Let's Stop The War" by Grand Funk Railroad. Here's an excerpt from the lyrics:

Hey, all you people, for goodness' sake
Let's get together - what does it take
To make you understand the value of a man
I'm talkin' about your sons and neighbors, yes I am

If we had a President that did just what he said
The country would be just alright, and no one would be dead
From fighting in a war that causes big men to get rich
There's money in them war machines - now, ain't this a bitch?

New Contender for 2006 Frickin' 'Tard of the Year

Coke Dealer Solicits Cop In Cherry Top- February 3, 2006

Here's a Smoking Gun article in which some frickin' 'tard offered to sell cocaine to a cop ..... in uniform ..... sitting in his police cruiser.

My God, can you imagine how stoned somebody would have to be to do something that stupid? ROFLMAO

Belford High School & Belford University

Life Experience High School Diploma

Now, this is interesting. An online "high school" calling itself "Belford High School" lets you get your high school degree in just a few minutes' time. You can do this one of two ways:

1. By taking a test in language arts (26 questions), math (20 questions), science (15 questions), and social studies (10 questions)

2. By telling them your life experience

You don't have to attend any classes, you just have to fill in a form and pay them $249 (basic fee - it can cost more if you ask for additional stuff). You can even backdate your graduation to years ago, have yourself graduate with honors ..... all for a large additional fee, of course.

Hell, they'll even give you fake transcripts, and print your fake GPA on your fake diploma. You automatically get a fake 3.0, but for an additional fee you can go all the way up to a fake 4.0. Obviously, I'm going for the fake 4.0!

I took their tests, which require 70% in each subject to pass. It was pretty funny, I have to admit, because some of the questions made no logical sense. There were only 71 questions total, which is supposed to prove that you know everything you would have learned in four years of high school - Bwahahahaha!

Damn, I wish I could have gotten through high school answering an average of less than 20 questions per year.

What's especially interesting is that, if you miss a question, they will tell you the right answers - not only that, but they pop up in a separate window so you can copy the correct answers the second time around. That's pretty doggone convenient, I have to admit.

When I didn't buy a diploma from them (obviously, since I was just doing it for laughs), they started inundating my inbox with all kinds of crap, trying to get money out of me. All that did was make me determined to make complete fools out of them.

As stated, you can also tell them your life experience, and get your high school diploma that way. I logged back in under yet another pseudonym, pretended to be an 18-year-old high school dropout slacker, and wrote:

"I help my mom around the house, and sometimes go grocery shopping for her. I am very good at playing Warcraft online also."

Sure enough, it immediately asked me all the information needed to process my "diploma" - but, no one had even looked at what I had written as my alleged qualifications!

Now, does anyone here think getting your mom groceries and playing WarCrack qualifies you as a high school graduate? Well, Belford High School probably does - I should find out in about 24 hours! They say they are going to review my qualifications - who wants to bet that no one even looks at it, and they offer me a diploma based on my stated skills as a slacker?

I'll update this entry with the results as soon as I get them.

What's really scary is that they also have a fake university, where they sell fake doctorates (and bachelor's degrees and master's degrees) also conveniently for a low, low price - and, as always, they offer free shipping (ROFLMAO). Once I finish messing with their high school program, I'll play with their fake college a bit. That should be very interesting, considering that they offer fake doctorates in everything from law to medicine (no, I'm not kidding) and everything in between. Not to worry, I'll keep blog readers informed as this interesting investigation unfolds.

____________________

Update on slacker application for high school diploma:

I went out for dinner and, when I returned, I had this email in my inbox. Gosh, this guy sure does work some interesting hours:

I, as Assistant Superintendent of Belford High School, would like to inform you that in order to make your information presentable, I have started working on your resume.

The Experience Evaluation Committee will then evaluate your eligibility for the desired diploma program. On the approval of your credentials, you will be contacted directly by the Experience Evaluation Committee within 24 hours.

I wish you all the success in your future endeavors

Regards,
John Hudson,
Assistant Superintendent,
Belford High School

I'll let you know when I hear more from the people who are apparently going to evaluate an applicant's ability to mooch off his mother and play Warcraft.

___________________________

Second update on slacker application:

Apparently, playing Warcrack and getting your mom's groceries is equivalent to a high school education after all - ROFLMAO! Here's their latest response:

Congratulations [name redacted]!

We are pleased to announce that on the basis of your resume submitted by the Assistant Superintendent, the 10-member Evaluation Committee at Belford High School has finally approved you for your high school diploma.

You can now pay the amount from the link provided below and get your high school diploma within 7 days from today. Once you make the payment, you will also be able to access the Alumni Area of Belford High School and get exclusive privileges and discounts.

If you are unable to pay the complete amount at once, you can now place your order for an initial deposit of $99 only. The remaining balance can be paid within 30 days in small and easy installments through our Flexible Payment Option Plan. Click on the link below to read more details and continue with your order.

Please click here to view your order details and to make payment.

Remember, the evaluation result is only valid for 7 days from today.

We congratulate you on being approved as a Belford High School Student, and wish you all the success in your future endeavors.

Regards,

Experience Evaluation Committee,
Belford High School

I'm not sure why it's only good for 7 days. After all, it's not like the applicant is going to lose the knowledge necessary to play WarCrack in that period of time.

That's always the sign of a scam, incidentally - the sense of urgency is palpable. Truth is, I could go back three years from now, having not paid them a cent, and still get their diploma. Obviously, all they want is the money. If you have cold hard FRNs, you can get a diploma from them, and it doesn't matter if you are one of the biggest frickin' 'tards in the history of the universe.

To be honest, I was hoping they wouldn't fall for what I sent them. Sure, it's funny as hell, but it's also extremely worrisome considering their doctorate program, which offers fake medical doctorates. Now, that's scary and, unlike the high school part of their program, it could actually prove deadly if some frickin' 'tard sets up a medical office using a fake degree (hey, it happens more than you'd think). I'll address Belford University in a separate entry over the next few days.

Why is President Bush Afraid of a Grieving Mother?

Police Remove Sheehan From Bush Speech - Yahoo! News

For those of you not familiar with Cindy Sheehan, a short tutorial.

Ms. Sheehan's son was killed in Iraq. She is demanding to know why her son died in a war based on lies about weapons of mass destruction. She has picketed, she has written letters, she has refused to pay taxes until her question is answered.

I think it's a damn good question, but interestingly enough, no one is answering it.

Now, I got into a heated argument about this with my boyfriend. His dad was a very powerful Senator, and was once nominated for the US Supreme Court, so he knows more than the average bear about how such things work. He says she doesn't get an answer because there are some things "they" just can't tell the American public.

I called bullshit on that argument. She is asking a very specific question about the death of her son, and she deserves an answer. I think the reason they're not answering it is because the only true answer is, "Your son is dead because we are frickin' 'tards".

My beau got a little upset about that, but I think it's true. Needless to say, we're on opposite sides of the political spectrum. He's a great guy, though, and we've agreed to disagree on politics. We therefore usually avoid political discussions like the plague, and I try to keep my political comments to TV pundits along the lines of "ah-bullshit-choo!" a'la Animal House. He's nice enough to pretend like he didn't hear what I said and merely tells me, "bless you", LOL.

So anyway, Cindy Sheehan got invited to the State of the Union address, and once she got in, she turned her shirt inside out. She was arrested because the shirt bore an anti-war slogan, and she refused to change it.

Um, I'm sorry, I thought the State of the Union address was given in the United States, and thus First Amendment protections apply. Apparently Cindy Sheehan has no right to free speech, because she is asking questions they don't want to answer. After all, they harass her wherever she goes. It is worth mentioning that she's pretty much following the President around - she even camped outside his ranch for a while when he was there - but still, she has the absolute right to demand an answer to why her son is dead, and Bush - as the person who pushed this war - is the man who owes her that answer.

That being said, she does go a little far out there at times. But she's a grieving mother, and as such it's understandable if at times she's a little out there.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of people in Iraq who should demand to know why their relatives are dead, too. After all, the US didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, and the US didn't find Osama bin Laden, but we killed countless innocent Iraqi citizens. Where is Osama, incidentally? Apparently they're not even looking for him anymore. How convenient.

Oh, and they also arrested Sheehan for "unlawful conduct", which means that she didn't really break any laws, but they couldn't arrest her without charging her with something. I hate to break it to them, but it's not unlawful to exercise your constitutional rights.

They just didn't want her there unless she was going to play ball. They wanted a public relations bonanza amongst the anti-war contingent, so they were just using her by inviting her. However, Cindy Sheehan has no intention of playing ball. I don't blame her. If Elf were killed in Iraq, I'd be mad as hell too when I found out there never were any weapons of mass destruction, that the "Axis of Evil" was just a soundbite, and that no one's even looking for Osama. Come to think of it, I'm mad as hell about that anyway, and my son wasn't killed in a war based on lies. So I can only imagine how angry Cindy Sheehan is about this mess.

The charge against Sheehan was a misdemeanor, and she was released on her own recognizance.

Is the President of the United States - the most powerful man in the world - so insecure that he can't handle having a grieving mother express her belief that it's his fault that her son died in a war based on lies and deception?

Apparently so. Does he not realize that a lot of Americans disagree with this war, and support Ms. Sheehan's actions? The arrest of Cindy Sheehan on trumped-up charges made Dubya look like a petty tyrant, not that he needed much help in that department, LOL.

TogaDude Wants To Commit "Assisted Suicide" due to "terminal illness" called Christianity

302701.mp3 (audio/mpeg Object)

Here's an audioblog wherein Gene "TogaDude" Chapman reads a letter he wrote to the governor of Oregon (whose name he doesn't know) asking to be allowed to commit assisted suicide because he has a "terminal illness called biblical Christianity".

He admits in this letter that he attempted to self-immolate in front of an IRS building, but was foiled in that attempt. He conveniently forgets to mention that he was subsequently committed against his will for over 30 days in a state psychiatric facility as a result. He also forgets to mention that he spent 30 days in jail for reckless endangerment, since that self-immolation attempt involved a leaking propane tank on his RV.

Now, if he really wanted to commit suicide, he wouldn't ask the permission of Oregon's governor. He wouldn't go on fake death fasts. He'd just do it. Nobody asks the government's permission to commit suicide. Besides, Gene doesn't even live in Oregon.

This is one of his most bizarre publicity stunts to date, and that's really saying something.

The strange thing is, most religions consider suicide a mortal sin. Even the more progressive churches consider it a non-sin only if the person is no longer in control of their faculties. Of course, that's nowhere near as strange as TogaDude being a fake minister who keeps threatening to off himself just for the attention it gets him.

Of course, it should come as no surprise that most of his authorities for his bizarre beliefs come from "the highest levels of Bob Jones University". (I could go into the merits - or lack thereof - of Bob Jones University, but I like to think my blog readers are well acquainted with that institution, especially after it was made into a running joke in the Tom Hanks film "The Ladykillers".) Well, at least Gene says that's where he gets it. Not surprisingly, no one at BJU has been willing to go on record as saying they even know who Gene is, much less have spoken to him. It's altogether possible he's just making that up. He's made up a lot of stuff over the years, after all.

The authorities need to call out the nice young men in their clean white coats (and butterfly nets) again. Gene is desperately in need of long-term psychiatric treatment.

The authorities in Texas also need to revoke his CDL. I don't think somebody this crazy needs to be behind the wheel of an eighteen-wheeler.

I'll keep blog readers updated.

Note to Frickin' 'Tards: Fetuses do not count in carpool lanes

USATODAY.com - Judge: Fetuses do not count in carpool lanes

This is pretty funny. A woman tried to claim that she was allowed to drive in the carpool lane without a passenger, because she is pregnant. It seems she thinks the fetus is a passenger.

A judge disagreed, and she was fined $367. I think she should have been fined more than that just for being a frickin' 'tard.

Now, without getting into whether a fetus is a baby and all that stuff, the point of the carpool lane is to encourage energy conservation by letting those who carpool bypass normal traffic . You have to have at least two people occupying the vehicle, and I don't think the fetus in utero counted as an extra person. I don't think anyone thinks the fetus counts as an extra person. Besides, it's not as if she has a choice about whether the fetus rides in her car. Duh.

The judge was pretty funny, though. He stated the frickin' 'tard's theory "would require officers to carry guns, radios and pregnancy testers, and I don't think we want to go there". LOL

Dumbest Crack Dealer in History

Alleged Crack Dealer Uses Business Cards - Yahoo! News

This frickin' 'tard actually had business cards printed up that said, "For a quick hit on time call the boss".

Sure enough, the cops got one of the cards, called him, bought some crack, and "hit" him with criminal charges.

Oops. ROFLMAO

What a dumbass.

Oprah tries to save face after Million Little Pieces fiasco

Oprah Challenges Author of Disputed Memoir - Yahoo! News

Too late. She has already lost all credibility for not checking out this guy's story before making him into the poster child for substance abuse survival.

But hey, maybe his next book will be non-fiction, and focus on his life as a pathological liar. LOL

Wendy's Severed Finger Scammers Sentenced

Couple gets long sentence in finger scam - Yahoo! News

Some time ago, I reported on this blog about the woman who claimed to have found a finger in a bowl of Wendy's Chili.

She has been sentenced to 9 years in prison, and her husband (who was in on the scam) was sentenced to 12 years (with the additional due to refusing to pay child support to another woman).

The court also awarded Wendy's a staggering $22 million in restitution. That seems excessive, since anybody with a brain should have known all along that it was all a lie. Wendy's has said that it will only seek to collect $170K, which is the amount their employees lost due to their hours being cut back at that particular store.

This story doesn't say whether Wendy's will pay that money to its employees, though. That would be interesting to know.

At least now we know where they got a severed human finger in the first place. Apparently the husband works with a guy who severed his finger on the job, and the guy gave the severed digit to the husband in payment of a $50 debt.

Gross.

Of course, these frickin' 'tards were all sobbing and crying and generally acting like, well, frickin' 'tards in front of the judge. However, to his credit, the judge gave them no mercy. They intentionally put a severed human finger into a restaurant's food, went on national television to swear their story was true (although I doubt many people believed it) and even hired a lawyer to sue Wendy's.

So, they deserve to spend a great deal of time at the GreyBar Hotel, and I don't feel the least bit sorry for them. I'm just glad we finally found out where the finger came from. That was bothering me.

Jail Is Too Good For These People But, Then Again, So Is Hell (Part Deux)

Final Days of Girl's Life Reveal Horrors - Yahoo! News

This is a horror story. For once, the mainstream media isn't exaggerating. If stories of child abuse upset you, you might want to skip this entry.

Apparently a little seven-year-old girl, Nixzmary Brown, was repeatedly abused by her stepfather Cesar Rodriguez, while her mother, Nixzaliz Santiago, stood by and let it happen. He kept her in what was called "the dirty room", which was infested with rodents and which contained a kitty litter box for her to use as a toilet.

God knows how long that little girl was left there, or how many times. Multiple reports were made to child protection authorities because she missed 37 consecutive days of school, but the frickin' 'tards decided there was no educational neglect. In fact, child protection authorities were sent to that home multiple times on suspicion of abuse, and not once did they feel anything was amiss despite the fact that the parents refused them entry into the home to check on the children.

The stepfather described the little girl as a troublemaker, as explanation for his abhorrent acts. He says she stole money from her parents, broke her siblings' toys, stole milk from a younger sibling, and broke their computer printer.

Boo-fucking-hoo. She's seven years old. Seven year olds get into trouble.

Now, why is it that I suspect she didn't do half those things, or that at the very least it was an accident or misunderstanding. It's also possible that she was acting out, since there are also allegations that the stepdad was sexually molesting her.

Then, the stepdad snapped ..... over yogurt.

See, he bought the other kids some yogurt, but not any for little Nixzmary. When the mom realized one of the yogurts was missing, she told the stepdad. The stepdad confronted little Nixzmary and the little girl, scared out her wits, denied taking it.

One of the other kids tattled on her, obviously unaware of what was about to happen.

This monstrous stepfather stripped the little girl nude and beat her with everything he could get his hands on - a belt, a piece of wood, a bungee cord - right in front of her mother. And that bitch didn't do a damn thing to protect her own little girl.

Then, he dragged the little girl into the bathroom, repeatedly dunking her head under cold water. It's unclear what else he did to her in that bathroom, but loud banging noises and the little girl screaming for her mommy were heard throughout the apartment. Mommy didn't help her. Mommy didn't do shit. Mommy is a piece of shit.

Then he picked up Nixzmary's limp lifeless body and threw her onto the floor in the "dirty room" like so much trash.

Six child protection workers have been suspended or reassigned as a result of this case. I have a question, though. Where the hell are they getting these frickin' 'tards who work in child protective services, and why the hell weren't they fired when a child they were supposed to have protected ended up dead?

Nixzmary wasn't the only child they let die, either. Another seven-year-old was murdered, and a baby drowned, all because they are too fucking stupid to do their goddamned jobs.

Jesus Christ Almighty, this kind of thing pisses me off. I hope they give that bastard stepdad the death penalty, and I hope her skank mother spends the rest of her life in prison. As for the siblings, the parents should have their parental rights terminated, and they should be adopted out to homes who actually want them.

I spit on Nixzaliz Santiago. I spit on the child protection workers who did anything but protect that helpless little girl. They all belong in jail, as far as I'm concerned.

I spit a big-ass loogie on that monster Cesar Rodriguez, and I hope he burns in hell.

What's the point of reviving someone, just so you can execute them?

California executes oldest condemned inmate - Crime & Punishment - MSNBC.com

This is a little off-topic for this blog, but I don't know what to think about it.

Apparently a blind, deaf, wheelchair-ridden 76-year-old was executed Tuesday in California. He was on death row because he had murdered his then-teenage son's 17-year-old girlfriend for fear that she would tell police about a grocery store robbery.

That's pretty damn cold.

Then, to make matters worse, he arranged for the killing of three witnesses to the first crime.

That's pretty damn heinous.

So, this is the thing. I don't have any problem with executing somebody for crimes of that nature. Obviously, he's extremely dangerous and can't be allowed to ever re-enter society.

However, the story also says that he had a heart attack in September, and was revived so he could be returned to death row.

Now, what was the purpose of that? The old coot nearly died in September, but was revived - at taxpayer expense - only to be executed -also at taxpayer expense - a few months later? Why didn't they just let him die of the heart attack, and save taxpayers a lot of money?

I'm also not sure of the point in executing a 76-year-old who's blind, deaf, and unable to walk. Isn't it important that the person know they're being executed? Why does it matter whether he's executed, or dies of a heart attack? The idea was just for him to be dead .... right?

It all just seems like a waste of taxpayer dollars to me. If somebody is on death row and has a heart attack, to revive them just so you can kill them sounds a little too much like premeditated murder to me. While I feel he deserved to die for his crimes, I also know there's a fine line between justice and revenge, when it comes to the death penalty. It is not for the state to exact revenge, but in this case it sounds like that's exactly what they did.

So I find this disturbing, in an unusual way.

The Global Consciousness Project

RedOrbit - Science - Can This Black Box See Into the Future?

I'm not even going to pretend like I'm qualified to have a serious opinion on this topic. Some obvious things come to mind, like how it's easy to find an event which may trigger high readings in our world, where events everywhere are available almost immediately to anyone interested in news. Also, I'm not sure about the hypothesis that it's actually predicting things, since it would also be easy to say, hm, I wonder why it's registering highly, then finding some event to explain it after the fact.

Bear in mind, I'm a cynical asshole.

Then again, these are some pretty big-name scientists behind this, and definitely not hacks. I checked out their website, and they are very open about their experiment and its results. So I have to defer to their greater knowledge of, well, just about everything.

At any rate, wouldn't it be cool (and a little freaky) if this worked? They'd have to keep a close eye on it, though. If the government thought it could use this technology in some way, they sure would in a heartbeat. That's never a good thing.

At any rate, whether the hypothesis is correct or not, it's interesting reading.

Congress Directive to IRS, to Audit Earned Income Credit Returns, Results in Nightmare for Working Poor

I.R.S. Limited Tax Refunds of Poor, Congress Is Told - New York Times

According to this article by David Cay Johnston, the IRS has withheld tax refunds due the poorest taxpayers because their computer program flagged them for fraud.

Problem is, a review showed that only a few of them were fraudulent.

Why is the IRS concentrating on the tax returns of families making about 13K per year, and not concentrating on the cash-only businesses and corporate returns with unbelievably high deductions? The answer is that Congress forced them to do so. They snuck it into an IRS budget bill, just like they snuck the stupid anonymous annoyance law into a DOJ budget bill. Sneaky bastards.

Since Congress ordered the IRS to do this, they had no choice but to comply.

This kind of foolishness only bolsters the tax protesters' claims that the IRS is unfair and incompetent. That's because Congress is unfair and incompetent, and has a convenient scapegoat for their foolishness as usual.

Doesn't Congress have more important worries like, oh, I don't know ..... starting a war based on nonexistent weapons of mass destruction? They had a scapegoat for that piece of idiocy, too. His name was Osama bin Laden. We still don't know where he is, and apparently nobody's even looking for him anymore.

But, I digress.

Lots of tax protesters are filing for refunds of all tax paid for years past thanks to the teachings of a frickin' 'tard named Pete Hendrickson (he wrote a book called "Cracking the Code" which tells people how to do this, even though it's only going to get them into loads of trouble for fraud), and those amended returns are making it past the IRS computers which are supposed to detect fraud. Obviously, the computer system needs to be tweaked to pick up on that kind of abusive filing. Those people are getting refunds of tens of thousands of dollars each, which they are not due, and they're posting the refund checks to the internet as proof that the scheme works. Well, it works, but only until the IRS realizes what they've done. The people falling for this scheme aren't smart enough to figure that out, though. Congress should provide funds for the IRS to stop that kind of fraud and abuse, before it gets so far out of hand that they can't stop it.

At any rate, the IRS needs to send those financially disadvantaged people their refunds now, with interest; and Congress needs to issue each and every one of them an apology. Does Congress not understand that folks with income that low actually depend upon their tax refunds to provide for their families?

If Congress wants to pass a law, forget the stupid law making it a crime to anonymously annoy someone on the internet. Pass a law correcting their own annoying idiocy, and allowing the IRS to undo the damage which has been done at Congress's insistence. They need to direct the IRS to clear those folks' tax records, and immediately issue those poor people their overdue tax refunds with interest. See, as a federal agency the IRS can only do what Congress allows them to do, and they are required to do what Congress directs them to do. So I guess it would literally take an act of Congress to fix this mess.

I'm sure that's not high on their list of priorities, though; after all, none of the Congressmen are poor, but I'm sure most if not all of them have been annoyed by an anonymous email or internet comment directed at them. That's why most of what Congress does makes no sense whatsoever. They are completely out of touch with the average American, and they tend to do only what they think is in their own interest (which is why you'll never see them sneaking a directive into an IRS budget which requires the agency to mass audit corporations or the wealthy). News flash, Congress: not a damn one of you could be described as an "average American", and therefore what you think is in our best interest doesn't mean diddly squat unless you have polled your constituents and are following their directives.

This is pure unadulterated crap, and I am thoroughly outraged.

Oh yeah, lest I forget my usual mantra ..... the people in Congress who forced this to happen are frickin' 'tards.

ElfninosMom Probably Headed For the GreyBar Hotel

Create an e-annoyance, go to jail | Perspectives | CNET News.com

Well, it looks like I need to update my will, and get my affairs in order. It's now a crime to annoy people on the internet if you don't use your real name. (This may come as a surprise to some of you, but my real name is not "ElfNinosMom"). I guess it's still okay to annoy people if you do use your real name, which of course is stupid. If anyone crosses a line into stalking or harassment, it's easy for the government to discover their IP and, thus, their identity.

This new law calls for hefty fines and up to two years in prison for anonymous annoyance. They're probably going to give me the death penalty for all the frickin' 'tards I've annoyed with this blog, ROFLMAO.

Bring it on, boys. The First Amendment grants me the right both to annoy people and to do so anonymously, as the Supreme Court has held more than once. Add to that the fact that I'm a real-life credentialed journalist, and you've got a serious Constitutional problem on your hands.

Look, Congress, let's put our cards on the table. We all know you can write all the laws you want, no matter how asinine they may be - and in fact you write incredibly stupid and inane laws regularly - but the Supreme Court can call bullshit on you by declaring the law unconstitutional. If the president has at least half a brain (which is highly unlikely) he will call bullshit immediately and order the DOJ to not enforce the part of this law which stupidly makes it a crime to anonymously annoy people on the internet. If the members of Congress who passed this law have a brain between them (equally unlikely) they will strike that part of the new law from the books immediately, before their constituents find out just how stupid they really are, call bullshit on them, and throw their asses out of office.

In fact, I call bullshit right now. What annoys one person may not annoy another - so now we have a thought police? Hell, that alone is a lot more annoying than just about anything else I can imagine. The fact is that annoyance is completely subjective, and all you've really done is to create a new category of cyber-terrorists. For example, some frickin' 'tard who posts to Quatloos has already stated that he is going to file complaints against certain volunteers there for annoying him, just because they don't use their real names. It is noteworthy that this particular person is one of the most annoying people I have ever encountered, hands down, and in fact he goes out of his way to intentionally annoy people. He is a disbarred lawyer, a vile racist, and a former acid head. Not a good combination for those unfortunate enough to encounter him on the internet. However, he occasionally posts his real name. That exempts him from this law, no matter how annoying he may be.

My God, this is like the Chewbacca Defense. This does not make sense!

Would it really make a difference if the people against whom he is filing these complaints used their real names when they annoyed this guy? I mean, c'mon. Let's use some common sense.

Look, I expose frickin' 'tards all the time here. Many if not most of them are dangerous. They have hurt people, some financially, some physically, and I warn people about them. I warn people how to spot scams and frauds, and hopefully prevent them from becoming victimized. In the process, of course I am going to annoy at least some people, most notably the ones I'm exposing. It's impossible to do what I do and not annoy someone. Am I to place myself and my son in danger of physical injury by exposing my true identity, just to perform a necessary public service which the government obviously sucks at doing, given that these frickin' 'tards are still walking the streets and targeting new marks? Apparently Congress thinks so.

That's never going to happen. I will continue to do what I do here, and I will never reveal my true identity due to extremely valid security concerns.

So Congress and its new law can both bite me, because anyone who thinks it's a good idea - to make it a crime to simply anonymously annoy someone - is a complete frickin' 'tard. By that, I mean that I honestly don't know how they breathe independently due to lack of functioning brain matter.

Is that anonymously annoying enough for you frickin' 'tards who passed this law? ROFLMAO

"A Million Little Pieces" Author Exposed As Fraud

A Million Little Lies - January 8, 2006

This is sad, but funny. Apparently this guy wrote some sob story fiction about life as a drug addict, alcoholic, and criminal, but couldn't sell it. So what did he do? He marketed it as an autobiography.

Saps like Oprah ate it up, and he ended up selling about four million copies. He even showed up on her show, and she fawned all over him. I wonder if she would have fawned over him had she known then what would hit the presses today?

See, The Smoking Gun decided to add one of his allegedly numerous mug shots to their infamous mug shot collection, and guess what? They couldn't find any, or at least nothing that corresponded even remotely to what he wrote in the book.

They decided to check into his real background, and have exposed him as a fraud.

Oops.

The Smoking Gun's report is long, but well worth the time it takes to read it. In fact, I recommend it far more highly than I recommend this guy's sob-story fake book.

FIRST ANNUAL FRICKIN' 'TARD OF THE YEAR AWARD

Hello, and welcome to the First Annual Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Awards! I have to admit, the decision wasn't easy. There are so many frickin' 'tards out there, but only one of them can be the recipient of this dubious honor.

I obviously had to set some criteria for the award, and decided that the most important would be that the frickin' 'tard's actions must have negatively affected other people's lives, and it must involve a scam of some type. That leaves out most of the people who are frickin' 'tards in the Darwinian sense of the term.

This year our nominees (along with a short synopsis of their lunacy) are, in no particular order:

James David Phillip Victor Norman (better known as Jim Norman, operating also as The Espavo Foundation), Toronto.
Jim Norman, who calls himself variously "Canada's Premier Jazz Drummer" and "Canada's Premier Percussionist" has been running a scam for about four years, in which he promises an astronomical return in exchange for a two-week loan, supposedly to help him release his nonexistent $156 million. So far, no one has gotten any money except Jim Norman. When anyone questions why they haven't received their money, he uses extremely vulgar language toward them, and tells them incredibly stupid things like "you cannot handle abundance". He is undoubtedly one of the biggest frickin' 'tards I have ever encountered.

Gene "TogaDude" Chapman (recently and amusingly re-nicknamed "The Human Hibachi" by a Quatloosian), Texas
The world's only living multiple death-faster made for amusing banter again this year, when he decided to teach the IRS a lesson by attempting to set himself on fire while driving an RV with a leaky propane tank. He then (not surpisingly) spent about 42 days in the nut house, and another 30 days in jail. Most recently, he has started a "business" instructing others how to establish their own "home church" to avoid paying taxes. He has gotten a lot of press on this blog as a result of his neverending (and usually hilarious) antics.

Paul Andrew Mitchell (aka PAM, real name Mitch Modeleski), California.
The author of "The Federal Zone" (which claims that no one has to pay taxes unless they are residing in specific federal territories) hasn't done anything new this year, but his legal battle against AOL and everyone with a computer continues, at least in his own mind. He has become even further entrenched in his various conspiracy theories, from federal judges being imposters to 9/11 conspiracy crap. This blog's namesake is always a serious contender for any Frickin' 'Tard award.

David Merrill Van Pelt (who swears his name is just David Merrill), Colorado
This one was the "private banker" who triggered the Montana Freeman standoff against the FBI. He was once arrested for proffering bogus Montana Freeman checks. On the more amusing side, he also claims to have the cure for SARS, and once sued Jesus Christ on behalf of his motor scooter. He is known to some as SFBFKADVP (which is the acronym for "Shit For Brains Formerly Known As David Van Pelt"). He seems to think that he is an expert on something called "advanced-resonance inductive plasma physics". However, when you google that term, the only entries that appear are his, certainly suggesting that it's something he just made up.

Shaini "DOO" Goodwin (aka "Dove of Oneness"), Washington State
This NESARA guru claims to be in continuous contact with high government officials from around the world, including but not limited to intelligence sources. The only problem is, she's not. Instead, she's a grossly overweight woman living in a relative's broken-down trailer, and has no such contacts. NESARA (or at least, her version of NESARA) isn't even real. She claims it is a secret law passed by Clinton which will wipe out all debt and leave us all wealthy beyond out wildest dreams; but, as luck would have it, the Supreme Court entered a gag order which forbids everyone (except, quite conveniently, Dove) from discussing NESARA, under threat of death. This scam arose from the old Omega farm claims scam. Oh, and did I mention the flying saucers and space men who are going to help bring NESARA to the public? Um, yeah. Needless to say, this one is a frickin' 'tard extraordinaire.

Larken "MulletBoy" Rose, Pennsylvania
Larken is a medical transcriber who believes that the average American doesn't have taxable income, because he reads section 861 of the Internal Revenue Code (which applies to Americans working overseas) and ignores Section 61, which applies to you and me. He accordingly stopped filing and paying taxes (both state and federal), then took out an ad in several newspapers which said "Please Prosecute Me". Well, the Department of Justice - being public servants, after all - had no choice but to grant his request. They prosecuted him, and he dropped his bizarro 861 theory like a hot potato, opting instead for a Cheek defense (stating that he did not willfully disobey the law since he had a sincere belief he was right). He was convicted in very short order - about the time it takes me to eat lunch - and was sentenced to 15 months in a federal penitentiary after mitigating his sentence by both preparing his back tax returns and making a substantial payment on his delinquent taxes. The worst part of this, however, is that his wife Tessa was convicted in a separate trial (the money was all in her name - what a guy!), and they have a young daughter. Her sentence is yet to be determined at this writing, but it is conceivable that their daughter will be effectively orphaned for some period of time while Larken and Tessa serve their sentences. So I just don't like this frickin' 'tard, period.

Robert Clarkson (aka The Great One), South Carolina
This physically humongous disbarred lawyer (who never admits he was disbarred, but claims he was suspended for refusal to pay Bar dues due to disagreement with Bar policy) has done more damage than one could imagine by setting up fake trusts (and thus setting his customers up for a very big financial fall when the IRS gets wind of it). Plus, he was disbarred for stealing a woman's welfare check to force her to settle a case, and filing a lien against his own clients for money they didn't owe. It goes without saying that he's not only a frickin' 'tard, but a piece of shit. There is a federal injunction pending against him, the outcome of which is undetermined at this writing.

Chris Hansen, Family Guardian website.
Chris Hansen believes that he is domiciled in Heaven, and therefore the United States government has no jurisdiction over him. During a recent deposition, he gave the attorney questioning him some rather curious answers. For example, in response to the question, "Where do you live?" Hansen replied "In my body, I don't have an address". In response to the question "Where do you spend most of your time?" he answered, "In my body". Hilariously, the attorney then asked, "Where does your body spent most of its time?" Hansen's obviously a frickin' 'tard if he thinks those kinds of answers will protect him against an injunction for giving painfully bad tax advice.

Irwin "Schiffty" Schiff
Irwin Schiff is older than dirt, and his own attorney admitted in civil court filings that Irwin has been formally diagnosed as delusional. He also got sent to prison this year, for the third time on charges of tax evasion. He has written a number of self-published books about how no one has to pay taxes, one of which was actually banned by the government because it was deemed to be commercial speech and therefore not protected by the First Amendment. He represented himself at his latest trial, and turned the courtroom into a three-ring circus. His followers have since made numerous threats against the judge who presided over the trial, as well as the jurors who rendered the verdict. These frickin' 'tards have thus kept the Men In Black very busy trying to protect regular folks who were just doing their civic duty. The fact remains, however, that no one would be getting threatened if it weren't for Irwin Schiff.

Anthony Martelli, aka Anthony Sarivola, aka Anthony Steele, aka "Tony Limo"
This dirty cop / ex-Mafia enforcer for the Colombo Crime Family has been running a scam in which he pretends to secure high-ticket loans, gets a very large commitment fee up front, and then accuses people of fraud so he can keep their money. One company which sued him had given him a staggering 145K. He even had a big stamp made so he can more easily mark their files "File Closed Due To Fraud". Anthony is foul and vulgar, but amusing in that he's obviously pretty damn stupid since he keeps getting caught. He is a former guest of the GreyBar Hotel, having spent years in federal prison for running another financial scam. He was convicted of running yet another financial scam while he was behind bars. At one point in time, his bond was revoked because he had threatened his own sister with bodily harm if she didn't post his bond. He was previously in the Witness Protection Program, and Edward McDonald, attorney-in-charge of the Organized Crime Strike Force for the Eastern District of New York, has called Sarivola/Martelli "a nut job" with regard to his testimony regarding the matter for which he was placed in witness protection. This frickin' 'tard has no shame whatsoever, and regularly goes onto the internet pretending to be satisfied customers. Although his current loan company filed for Chapter 11 (in which he stated that he has earned a cool mil over the last three years), his scams aren't over. He has started several new businesses since we started to expose him on Quatloos - one a "church", and the other a company to provide funding for movie projects.

Those are the nominees, ladies and gentlemen. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

The winner of this year's "Frickin' 'Tard of the Year Award" is (envelope please) ....

JIM NORMAN!

Let's talk a little bit more about Jim Norman. I swear, I'm not making this up even though it's so bizarre that you will undoubtedly think otherwise. However, let me start out by telling you that the name of his alleged organization, "Espavo", means "thank you for taking your power". Well, some people say power is money, and if so, the Espavo Foundation is aptly named because this guy has taken a lot of people's money.

First, some background.

Jim Norman claims to have $156 million in a foreign bank account which was frozen by the US government following 9/11, under authority of The Patriot Act. However, the Patriot Act doesn't give the United States the power to freeze a foreign bank account; and that's not even getting into the not-insignificant fact that the United States has no jurisdiction over any foreign bank account. You can read all about the banking provisions of the USA Patriot Act for yourself at www.occ.treas.gov/BSA/BSARegs.htm

He claims to have an account with the World Bank, although the World Bank only deals with countries and not individuals. Two separate representatives of the World Bank have stated that they don't know who he is, that the account form he showed prospective investors is a fraud, and that his claims with regard to the World Bank are a fraud. Yes, they actually used the word "fraud" in writing. Is it even a possibility that he's telling the truth about the World Bank? See for yourself that's it's not possible, by reading the World Bank website at www.worldbank.org

He claims the International Monetary Fund is also involved with his "portfolio", even though the IMF has specifically denied even knowing who he is, denied sending the documents in question, and furthermore they also only deal with countries. You can read all about the International Monetary Fund - and understand why he cannot possibly be telling the truth - on their website, www.imf.org

He claims the International Court of Justice at The Hague (which he calls the World Court) has made decisions in his case, even though they have no jurisdiction to hear anything involving him (again, since he's not a country) and there is no record or even a hint that they have any earthly idea who this guy is. The truth is that the International Court of Justice is the judicial organ of the United Nations, only deals with member countries of the United Nations; and every single case they have ever heard, and every pending case, is listed clearly on their website at www.icj-cij.org

In other words, this makes no sense whatsoever to anyone who bothers to check out his fantastical claims. Those who don't check him out are always going to lose their money. How much money are we talking, you may ask? It's well over a million dollars; some estimate it to be as much as $4 million.

He always has an excuse for why he doesn't pay - and bear in mind that this has been going on for four years even though his investors were each supposed to each be paid within a few weeks - although the excuses are akin to "the dog ate my homework".

This is how the scam works.

Jim Norman has "facilitators" who solicit people to invest in his so-called "project". The reason given these poor gullible folks as to why he needs the money has to do with fines, fees, and other facially false payments that allegedly must be made to release his nonexistent funds. They are given a promissory note, obviously not written by an attorney, which states that they are to be paid the principal sum plus an astounding 760% interest in a period of approximately two weeks. In other words, for each 10K invested, the investor is supposed to receive $76,000 in two weeks. Yeah, I know, anybody with even a lick of common sense should have known this was nothing but a scam. All the money changes hands by wire transfer. And once the money has been paid ... well, the old saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" takes on a whole new meaning.

Some people have given him $5,000. Others have given him as much as $450,000. The sums are staggering.

So, why do people "invest" in the Jim Norman Project? Simple greed and gross gullibility. He convinces these people that he has contacts in international finance, that he has the ability to operate as a country, and that the paltry interest sums one usually sees do not apply in his world. Shockingly, they believe him. What surprises me is the number of people who still believe him, despite the fact that his claims have been thoroughly debunked.

For example, he presented a document which he stated was from the United States Department of the Treasury. This document states that he is to be paid the sum of $3 million from an individual who allegedly defamed him and tried to steal his nonexistent portfolio.

Stop the boat. The US Department of the Treasury has no authority to award damages to him, and no jurisdiction to hear cases of defamation. The document is, in fact, a forgery, as has been confirmed by multiple sources within the Department of the Treasury. Of course, it wasn't necessary to ask if it was a forgery, since it was a really bad forgery.

Frank Abergnale Jr, he's not. Here, see for yourself at www.imgplus.net/pict.php?id=bbfdbe8054 (sorry it's not embedded, but blogger seems to be glitching).

Then there were the Spanish documents, variously from la Caixa Bank (an institution which is regularly named in such scams) and even the Spanish counterpart to the Internal Revenue Service.

According to the Spanish tax document (which is written in Spanish, so his investors just took his word for what it said) he is requesting a tax deduction due to maternity. It also says that he is the proud mother of two sons, both named after him. Now, I don't keep up with all the latest scientific advances, but the last time I checked, it is a biological impossibility for a man to be pregnant.

I told you, this stuff is unbelievable. Many of his "investors" refuse to believe it's a scam even though the evidence has been presented to them repeatedly. Many if not most will not go to law enforcement. Why? A review of the investor list shows that many of the investors are scammers themselves.

I have to admit, it doesn't break my heart when a scammer gets scammed, especially in a scam this blatant.

Not all of his investors are scammers, though. Some of them are elderly. One elderly investor wrote to him, saying that she has no money but that she trusts him to pay off the principal plus interest. She doesn't understand that he is a scammer, much less that her money is gone forever. Now, that pisses me off.

In the meantime, he has sent photos to his "investors" of all the things he has bought with their money. These poor deluded souls think he has those things because he has $156 million in the bank. A few of them are coming to their senses and realizing that he bought these things with their money. Others still believe every word this guy says.

Jim Norman rarely speaks for himself, preferring instead to implicate various females in the United States to do his dirty work for him. He threatened to sue me, as did one of those females. I laughed my ass off about that, I have to admit. When he realized that wasn't going to work, he had another one of his pathetic minions tell me that I was going to be "FIRED!" from Quatloos. That was even more hilarious, since I'm just a volunteer there and exposing people like him is what we do.

I figure that, at this rate in his bizarro game of reverse threats, he will eventually buy me something really nice in an attempt to intimidate me. LOL

Jim Norman does occasionally communicate for himself. When he does, it's like reading the output of a random word generator. He makes threats, he tries to intimidate people, he calls people names, he makes it clear that the people who loaned him money aren't as good as him, and he just generally terrorizes his investors and anyone else who dares to question His Good Self.

Just to give you an idea of his idiocy, here's a private message he had one of his "Team" members send to me:

CARM was also in direct relations with the perpetrator as stated on the
Treasury Document, I state unequivocally in the world I work in, we don't
need forgery charges refuted in chat rooms INSTIGATED BY PEOPLE WE HAVE
FIRED, this is preposterous, TRITE, and not a place to have my International
dealing subjected to.....PERIOD. I have LAWYERS AND LAW FIRMS FOR THAT. I
have been on the net since its conception, "Jim Norman & Grafite" SEARCH
WITH PARENTHESES, seen all kinds of forums that attract the sick that hide
behind handles and false credentials, AND HOP FROM ROOM TO ROOM SPEWEING
OPINIONS AS FACT, consummate GARBAGE. You think the FBI, CIA, ECOWAS, IMF,
WBG, RCMP, ENTERTAIN THESE FORUMS AS A BASE FOR THEIR INVOLVEMENT? MUCH LESS
IN MY CASE WHERE I AM IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH THESE ORGANIZATIONS, ALL
THROUGH LAW FIRMS, FORENSIC ACCOUNTANTING AND COLLEAGUES BECAUSE I CHOOSE
TO, ALL PROFESSIONAL IN EXECUTION, MUCH LESS ABOUT MATTERS THAT A CERMELLA
KYDD HAS NO IDEA OF AND ARE IN A TOTAL LEAGUE ABOVE AND BEYOND "INTERNET
FORUMS". I AM NOT A NEOPHYTE AT ANY OF THIS NET STUFF AND HAVE MORE THAN ONE
PRESENCE HERE, ARCHIVAL, MERCHANT CREDIT STATUS AT TIMES AS WELL; ONE DOES
NOT GET MERCHANT STATUS ON LINE CASUALLY. WHAT IS ALL THIS FORGERY CRAP,
WHAT CEO NEEDS TO GO TO SOME CHAT ROOM AND SEND PROOF?!?!?!?!?! NOT TO
MENTION READ DEATH THREATS TO STAFF????? Ego is one thing but ID is totally
out of whack here. THE GAME STOPS, CHARGES AS STATED BY KASSIE ARE BUILDING
AGAINST CARMELA KYDD AND HER COLLEAGUE HAS FACED CHARGES AND LOST TO THE
TUNE OF 3 MILLION. HE LIED BUT NEVER THREATENED, SHE HAS THREATENED, DO YOU
THINK IN TIME SHE AND THOSE THAT ARE HER COHORTS IN WHAT IS A "CRIME" WILL
GET OFF ANY EASIER? You think you are dealing with some subservient to your
forum that needs to banter here? I have lawyers that are versed with
Internet law; I have been here for DECADES.
Not ONE person from the room has had the COURAGE to contact the email
address that Kassie posted for dialogue with my Company and the fact that I
would stoop to this level to facilitate myopic children with delusions of
grandeur waste my staffs time. That a room facilitator con posture in some
all knowing stance DEMANDING PROOF FOR HER FORUM IS DELLUSIONAL, I SUBPENA
EVIDENCE AND GET IT WHEN I NEED IT, AND THE FORUM MAY SOON FACE WHATEVE
LEGALITYS IT TAKES IF IT IS PROVEN THAT IT AIDS AND ABETS THREATS TO MY
STAFF OR I. And wallowing in the rooms, facilitating garbage like "THE IMF
AND WBG WILL LIE FOR HIS FOUNDATION TO PROTECT HIM...HE HAS VISITED THE
VATICAN, HE IS A DANGEROUSE MAN" ?!?!?!....Listen, go edit comic books for a
living, this forum is a DUMB UNPRODUCTIVE pastime. Go into the Health
Industry and specialize in COLONICS, this is more productive at flushing out
the truth, than the garbage you ALLOW, take responsibility for fueling in
your...... FORUM????

Now, why would anyone contact this ass clown at his hotmail address, when we already know what we need to know about him? Quatloosians wouldn't, because it's a waste of our time. We expose scams. We don't get into pissing contests with scammers unless it's necessary for our purposes (or unless they show up in our forums). Besides, we already know that he harasses the hell out of people once he has their email address, and that he regularly traces IPs specifically for harassment purposes. Yeah, I know, I could mask my IP. However, he sent this message to me via the Quatloos internal messaging system, so why do I need to send him an email at all? The one and only reason he wanted people to email him is so that he could figure out which ones of his victims were blowing the whistle on him.

As for the comment about him being dangerous .... I never said that he is dangerous, so that might be a Freudian slip on his part. The fact is, I don't know that he's dangerous, but I don't know that he's not dangerous, either. The above message alone, however, speaks volumes about the extent of his anger management problem.

The lawsuit threats are especially amusing, though. Jim Norman couldn't subpoena his own ass. When I got this, I suggested that he stop talking about suing, and actually do it. I pointed out that there's a fax number for legal issues, which goes directly to Quatloos attorneys, at the top of each forum page. Not surprisingly, he hasn't sued either me or Quatloos; nor will he reveal the names of his alleged attorneys despite repeated requests for that information.

It is absolutely hilarious that he brought up the crap about how we said the IMF and World Bank will lie for him. We never said that. He said that when we pointed out that both organizations had specifically stated in writing that they had no dealings with him and had never even heard of him. We also didn't say anything about him visiting the Pope. That was his lie, to make himself look important to the investors, and we just made fun of it. Of course, considering the wild tales he has told to back up his scam and explain why he hasn't paid anyone, it should come as no surprise to anyone that he has told so many lies that he can't keep them all straight.

Carmela Kydd, incidentally, is a victim of this scam who was for a short period of time a member of the "Team", but was "fired" for some reason which apparently makes sense only to Jim Norman. She doesn't like him any more than he likes her, incidentally. She discovered Quatloos and spilled the beans about this idiot. When she did that, he lost what little bit of mind he started out with. At one point, one of his minions accused me of being Carmela Kydd. Why, you may ask? Well, because "ElfNinosMom" begins with the letter "E", and Carmela's husband's name also starts with the letter "E". Yeah, that's really good detective work on their part *eyes rolling*. I guess their conclusion makes sense in the BizarroWorld in which these frickin' 'tards reside.

As in the above diatribe, they also keep making weird comments about people making threats against him and the "Team". I have no idea what he's talking about. I certainly have never threatened anyone, nor am I aware of anyone else threatening them with bodily harm. However, it goes without saying that if you're stealing people's money, you're going to majorly piss them off. So I guess it's possible, but if so, those threats aren't coming from Quatloosians. We don't want to see them hurt, we want to see them rot in federal prison. Big difference.

"Kassie" is a "Team" member who came onto Quatloos to lie about the scam on his behalf, and distribute his threats to me. He "fired" her just a couple of days ago, again for reasons which apparently make sense only to Jim Norman; and also accused her of stealing. Apparently everyone steals .... except Jim Norman, naturally. LOL.

Of course, for all anyone really knows, that's just another scam and she really wasn't fired. It never ends with these people. There are scams on top of scams. There are cross-scams. There are people scamming Jim Norman in order to get his victims to give their money to other scammers. Even the victims scam other victims. It's just unbelievable.

At any rate, I'm still laughing uproariously about that bizarre private message from Jim Norman. I even printed it and passed it around at a party I hosted over Thanksgiving weekend, and my guests nearly split a gut laughing at this frickin' 'tard. It's now attractively framed and given a place of honor on my office's "Wall Of Shame".

A few people have asked for their original investment to be returned, which they were repeatedly told in "conference calls" they could do at any time. He has refused to return their money, always accusing them of malfeasance and claiming they instead owe him some astronomical sum (always in the millions) for reasons understandable only to him. To my knowledge, not even one single person has received a cent back from Jim Norman. I am, however, aware of a number of people who have requested a refund, and have been harassed and threatened. Here's a little peek into the way he responds to such requests:

FOLKS SORRY TO SULLY YOUR THANKSGIVING, BUT THIS JERK CALLED ME AT 10 AM MONGERING FOR MONEY, IN FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT HE EMAILED A COLLEAGE WITH THE CONTENT BELOW.

THIS IS THE NARCISISTIC GREED YOU HAVE SEEN HAPPEN WITH MY MONEY. THIS GUY HAS NO IDEA WHO HE MESSED WITH.

HE WILL BE CONTACTED AND BILLED LIKE THEOTHER MONGERING CRETINS SOME OF YOU BROUGHT TO ME, WE JNOW WHO BROUGHT HIM IN AND THEY ARE ALREADY IN THE DOG HOUSE AND ONE HAS BEEN CHARGED BY YOUR TREASURY DEPARTMEBT FOR 3 MNILLION….( some of you have seen the documentation). I AM WAITING TO SEE THE COMMENT FROM MY PERSON AT THE IMF IN REGARDS HIS EMAIL ADDRESS AND STATEMENT.

This ass had the GALL to call me after knowing that I had read his comments????????

Then of course the ass named Jim Norman had the gall to bother people on Thanksiving in order to whine about how one of his victims had the "gall" to ask for his own money to be returned. What a crybaby.

Of course the guy knew "who he messed with". He had messed with the creep who had stolen his money, by playing Master of the Painfully Obvious in saying that an alleged email from the IMF was a fraud (after he made a call to Geneva, from which the email allegedly originated, and heard this for himself). Jim Norman, however, doesn't seem to understand that the money he borrowed is not his money. The money belongs to the people who loaned it to him. So Jim Norman can bill the "mongering cretin" for a quadrillion dollars, and it's meaningless except for the humor factor. I am hoping, however, that he will forge yet another document from the US Department of the Treasury. There's nothing like a charge of conspiracy to defraud the United States to get these scammers sent to prison where they belong. Two such forgeries would seal his fate.

Another common ploy he utilizes to silence his victim detractors is to falsely accuse them of committing an illegal act. See, he regularly accuses them of usury ( i.e., charging an illegal interest rate). For some reason he doesn't understand that, since he as the borrower set the rate, usury laws don't apply. Nevertheless, the ploy works on at least some of the victims. Afraid of being sued or charged with a crime, and brainwashed by this idiot into believing that he is a world-class financial expert, they simply resign themselves to their fate rather than contacting the authorities to make a fraud complaint against him, or contacting an attorney to file suit.

Sometimes he will get angry and tell a victim that he is giving them back only their principal, and not the interest rate he promised .... but, he's not going to send them anything until "after [his] business is concluded". Well, since there is no account and no money, his "business" will never be concluded. Duh.

The interesting question is, what makes anyone think this guy has $156 million in the first place? He certainly didn't earn it, nor did he inherit it. He is a frustrated jazz drummer who has two self-released CDs. His music is New Age crap, basically. He didn't make that kind of money from his music, that's for sure. He didn't even make enough money from his music to invest it and make anything even approaching that kind of money. In fact, it's altogether possible that he lost money on those CDs, since he financed them himself.

I can't be sure, but it's a distinct possibility that - at least in the beginning - Jim Norman was himself the victim of a scam. See, this entire situation stinks of a Nigerian advance-fee scam, also known as a 419 scam. Most of the readers of this blog have probably received at least one piece of this kind of spam. There's always a sob story about how somebody (usually in Africa) died and left zillions behind, and a relative or Barrister is trying to find someone in the US with whom to share the fortune. It's pretty funny stuff, but a lot of people fall for it. I suspect this not only because he's obviously not very intelligent, but also because he has all kinds of people - for example, a so-called "Justice Minister" apparently from Cote d'Ivoire, one of the scam capitals of the world - who he claims are helping him with this money. He's sending a lot of it overseas, to a business in the United Kingdom and elsewhere. That's typical of Nigerian scams.

Is it even possible that anyone is such a complete frickin' 'tard that they not only fall for a Nigerian scam, but continue to fall for it over a period of years? The answer to that question is yes. I haven't seen it on this scale, but it is indeed possible.

So either Jim Norman has come up with this scam on his own, or he's being scammed himself because he's stupid enough to believe that someone in Africa placed $156 million on deposit for him. Then it becomes more akin to the Spanish Prisoner scam, in which to release the funds, he must come up with large amounts of cash over and over again.

Either way - whether he came up with it on his own or has been scammed himself, or some combination of the two - there is no doubt whatsoever that Jim Norman stands head and shoulders above the competition for the "Frickin' 'Tard of the Year" award.

My Nomination for the US Supreme Court

Law would be one helluva lot more interesting subject if more courts wrote more decisions like the one in Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corporation, Inc. In fact, it is so hilarious that I've excerpted the funnier parts below for our neverending amusement. According to this court decision, the lawyers involved in this case are apparently two of the biggest frickin' 'tards to ever live.

This decision was written by Judge Samuel B. Kent, and I hereby nominate him for the United States Supreme Court.

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.



Defendant begins the descent into Alice's Wonderland by submitting a Motion that relies upon only one legal authority. The Motion cites a Fifth Circuit case which stands for the whopping proposition that a federal court sitting in Texas applies the Texas statutes of limitations to certain state and federal law claims. See Gonzales v. Wyatt, 157 F.3d 1016, 1021 n. 1 (5th Cir.1998). That is all well and good--the Court is quite fond of the Erie doctrine; indeed there is talk of little else around both the Canal and this Court's water cooler. Defendant, however, does not even cite to Erie, but to a mere successor case, and further fails to even begin to analyze why the Court should approach the shores of Erie. Finally, Defendant does not even provide a cite to its desired Texas limitation statute.

[FN2] A more bumbling approach is difficult to conceive--but wait folks, There's More!



Plaintiff responds to this deft, yet minimalist analytical wizardry with an equally gossamer wisp of an argument, although Plaintiff does at least cite the federal limitations provision applicable to maritime tort claims. See 46 U.S.C. § 763a. Naturally, Plaintiff also neglects to provide any analysis whatsoever of why his claim versus Defendant Phillips is a maritime action. Instead, Plaintiff "cites" to a single case from the Fourth Circuit. Plaintiff's citation, however, points to a nonexistent Volume "1886" of the Federal Reporter Third Edition and neglects to provide a pinpoint citation for what, after being located, turned out to be a forty-page decision.

Ultimately, to the Court's dismay after reviewing the opinion, it stands simply for the bombshell proposition that torts committed on navigable waters (in this case an alleged defamation committed by the controversial G. Gordon Liddy aboard a cruise ship at sea) require the application of general maritime rather than state tort law. See Wells v. Liddy, 186 F.3d 505, 524 (4th Cir.1999) (What the ...)?! The Court cannot even begin to comprehend why this case was selected for reference. It is almost as if Plaintiff's counsel chose the opinion by throwing long range darts at the Federal Reporter (remarkably enough hitting a nonexistent volume!). And though the Court often gives great heed to dicta from courts as far flung as those of Manitoba, it finds this case unpersuasive. There is nothing in Plaintiff's cited case about ingress or egress between a vessel and a dock, although counsel must have been thinking that Mr. Liddy must have had both ingress and egress from the cruise ship at some docking facility, before uttering his fateful words.



Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff's supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon--Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff's briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.

Now, alas, the Court must return to grownup land.



II. CONCLUSION
After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented. Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in both parties' briefing (and the inexplicable odor of wet dog emanating from such) the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter. Defendant's Motion for Summary Judgment is GRANTED.

At this juncture, Plaintiff retains, albeit seemingly to his befuddlement and/or consternation, a maritime law cause of action versus his alleged Jones Act employer, Defendant Unity Marine Corporation, Inc. However, it is well known around these parts that Unity Marine's lawyer is equally likable and has been writing crisply in ink since the second grade. Some old-timers even spin yarns of an ability to type. The Court cannot speak to the veracity of such loose talk, but out of caution, the Court suggests that Plaintiff's lovable counsel had best upgrade to a nice shiny No. 2 pencil or at least sharpen what's left of the stubs of his crayons for what remains of this heart- stopping, spine-tingling action.



FN3. Take heed and be suitably awed, oh boys and girls--the Court was able to state the issue and its resolution in one paragraph ... despite dozens of pages of gibberish from the parties to the contrary!



FN4. In either case, the Court cautions Plaintiff's counsel not to run with a sharpened writing utensil in hand--he could put his eye out.

See what I mean? This is hands-down one of the funniest things I have ever read, but it is indeed a very real court case. The decision was rendered by the US District Court in Galveston, Texas, case number No. CIV. A. G-00-558. Hopefully the brilliantly funny judge who wrote this is still alive, since this decision was rendered June 27, 2001.

But can you even imagine the embarrassment of the attorneys involved in this case? Bwahahahaha!

A Peek Into My Bizarro Comments Section

I think you'll get the idea here rather quickly. Bear in mind that, in the original comments, these frickin' 'tards actually had linked to the parts in question. I have removed the links. My individual responses are italicized, and my ongoing commentary is in bold.


Lori Richards said...

Hi, Blogger, from the big town of Forest City, NC! I have enjoyed reading Who Is PAM?, although I was really looking specifically for energy drink related sites. I understand why I found you when I typed in energy drink though. lol Anyway, I hope you continue writing, and visit my blog when you get a chance.

Thanks for noticing that my name is "Blogger".

Sure, I have nothing better to do than look up homemade blog advertisements for energy drinks.

Why do I get the impression that you wouldn't understand this blog even if you read it?

Piss off.



Lori Richards said...

Hi, ElfNino's Mom. I seem to have stumbled onto your blog while I was searching for healthy energy drink related sites. However, I am glad that I stopped by Who Is PAM? because there was a lot of good stuff here. I really enjoyed reading your blog, and I hope that you will stop by mine sometime. Take care!

So here's the same frickin' 'tard again, spamming my comments section again. If I wasn't interested in energy drinks the first damn time, I'm not interested in them now either. So piss off again.



Nuovo111 said...

Hi ElfNino's Mom,

Great read on "Who Is PAM?". Hope you dont mind me dropping a few comments although I was actually looking for types of bankruptcy info on the net.
Am glad I didnt immediately click away...you do have some good stuff and I enjoyed reading them. You know ...I need your kind of inspiration to write all those blogs...and maybe one day I would find some.
Meanwhile got to get back searching for stuff on types of bankruptcy... and ElfNino's Mom, keep doing what youre doing. Hmm must remember to bookmark your page.. Cheers :))

Um ..... yeah. There's no way in hell that this blog came up when someone googled bankruptcy. Try it and see for yourself. I did.



johntaylor said...

Good day ElfNino's Mom. Can I get any information about credit card debt on Who Is PAM?? Hopefully before the day is gone I can get somemore details about http colon double backslash www dot livechathelp dot com. My friend told me I should look here but it does not seem to be a perfect match for what I need to know. I'm new to blogging but enjoy it. Take care and wish me luck.

Okay, it's bad enough that you're a frickin' 'tard. It's worse when you assume that I am also a frickin' 'tard. I am not stupid enough to believe that someone referred you to the Who Is Pam entry for information about credit cards, debt, or chat help.

Piss off.

PS: Yes, I changed the layout of the link. I don't want people clicking on it, and I sure as hell don't want to advertise it.



johntaylor said...

Hi ElfNino's Mom. Can I find any information on http colon double backsclash www dot livechathelp dot com here? My friend said to check out Who Is PAM? for information on old hospital bills but this does not seem like the most relevant of blogs. I like cruzing through your site but maybe search engines might have more information. Need to come back later though...great blogs!

What the hell is wrong with you people? What makes you think I know a damn thing about chat help or old hospital bills?

You're a complete dumbass. Piss off.



Peteso said...

Hi ElfNino's Mom,

Great read on "Who Is PAM?". Hope you dont mind me dropping a few comments although I was actually looking for types of bankruptcy info on the net.
Am glad I didnt immediately click away...you do have some good stuff and I enjoyed reading them. You know ...I need your kind of inspiration to write all those blogs...and maybe one day I would find some.
Meanwhile got to get back searching for stuff on types of bankruptcy... and ElfNino's Mom, keep doing what youre doing. Hmm must remember to bookmark your page.. Cheers :))

How interesting that Nuovo and Peteso had the exact same thoughts, right down to the grammatical and punctuation errors.

Piss off.



So finally, I decided to post a comment to see if it would bring more comments. I pretended as if the entries were real, simply because I wanted to experiment with this for the blog entry you're reading right now.



ElfNino's Mom said...

Hmmmmm ..... is it just me, or are people using my blog comments section to advertise their websites? That's pretty strange, especially considering that the comments won't show up on a Google search, LOL. That only works in forums, not on blogs.

I'm especially confused by the one which says someone referred them to this entry for information on credit card debt. This is especially true since PAM flies so far underneath the radar, I doubt if he even has a credit card.

If you're interested in getting rid of debt, you might want to read "What The Hell Is Vapor Money". That entry reviews the theory that money is created out of thin air, and thus debts are not valid. The short answer is that they are dead wrong, as the courts have repeatedly found. However, there are a lot of snake oil salesmen out there who will lead you astray, which may lead you into not being able to pay your hospital bills, which may lead you into bankruptcy, which may lead you into such a deep depression that you will need an energy drink just to get through your pathetic day. And thus the vicious circle continues.

To answer the other questions (which I'm not altogether sure are sincere) ..... the only thing you will find on this blog concerning credit or bankruptcy are entries on lunatics. If you want the real scoop on any of these legal matters, consult a local attorney for information specific to your situation. As for livechathelp, I have no earthly idea what that is, so I can't help you with it.



Sure enough, they came back.


Peteso said...

Hi there ElfNino's Mom... Look where I landed searching for info on types of bankruptcy. But since Im here... I thought I'd just stop by and read... I found your post "Who Is PAM?" kinda interesting.
Do you always write that way?
I guess I'd better be on my way as I still need stuff on types of bankruptcy for my project.
Thanks for a good read ElfNino's Mom ...and keep doing all the great blogs. Cheers.

Jesus Christmas, do all of these people just surf blogs and post the same damn comments over and over again? Is it a bot doing this?

Piss off yet again, Peteso.



hvm said...

Hi there: ##Name## I was just surfing around trying to locate the latest information about Business Notes , when I came across your site, Who Is PAM?, not exactly what I had in mind, but interesting non the less. I now see why when I was looking for information related to Business Notes , It directed me to your site. Thanks for the info.

Okay, right about then, I had tolerated all of this nonsense I was going to tolerate. So this is my response to all you SFBs who just can't resist using my blog as an advertising device for your pathetic bullshit products/services:



Yes, my real name is ##Name##. You've caught me red-handed. **eyes rolling**

Now please, stop making comments on my blog in an effort to promote other sites. Do you not realize that I have to view all the comments - and that I try to respond to each comments with the courtesy of a reply - and therefore you are wasting my time by making fake comments here? Worse, you are wasting the time of the folks who actually read this blog for a reason, even if that reason is only to get a cheap laugh or two.

I don't like it when people waste my time. Despite appearances, I really am a very busy individual.

At first the people making fake comments were mildly amusing in a desperate "attention whore" sort of way, but now there are so many of these thinly veiled advertisements in my comments section that I really am starting to get rather annoyed.

I don't normally delete comments, but this is going to be an exception. Any advertisements on my blog will be deleted effective immediately, and retroactively. Furthermore, I am going to start logging IPs and making complaints.

Who Is PAM?

It has been brought to my attention on Quatloos that I have never explained on this blog the identity of its namesake. So, with apologies for not having explained this before, plase allow me to introduce you to one of the most interesting characters you will likely encounter.

PAM is Paul Andrew Mitchell, aka Mitch Modeleski. He studied for the priesthood for about five years at the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, although he never took vows. He has a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science from UCLA and a Master's Degree in Management from UC Irvine, and as such is by far the most well-educated of the lunatic fringe. He was an excellent student, with a GPA of 3.0 and 3.8 respectively. However, many believe him to have then been stricken with mental illness, possibly schizophrenia based upon first-hand accounts of his behavior which include days-long states of catatonia. This belief is also bolstered by PAM's own writing, which is filled with obvious paranoid ideations and includes statements such as "I rest for now. I am very tired, particularly from expending all the energy that was required to surround the Centers for Disease Control with a spiritual force field, for their complicity in the Gulf War Illnesses."

Unlike most characters I discuss on this blog, in addition to his rather obvious level of intelligence PAM is an extraordinarily good writer, even if what he writes makes no logical sense most of the time. From my personal perspective, it's a damn shame that he's unwell, because he possesses the natural talent to have become a great writer.

It is an understatement to say that PAM is a unique character in the netherworld encompassing the lunatic fringe.

PAM first came into the spotlight when he "represented" two of the Montana Freemen after their arrest following a well-known FBI standoff. PAM had a falling-out with the Freemen and, before it was over with, PAM was accusing a certain member of the Freemen of being a "deep cover operative" because his invoices weren't being paid. His memo to Red Beckman on this matter is well worth perusal, and can be found at http://www.supremelaw.org/cc/garfield/beckmans.htm

PAM self-published a book called "The Federal Zone", in which he claims (among other things) that only those living in Washington DC and other federal territories are subject to various federal laws, most specifically the laws regarding income tax. His bank account was later frozen for back taxes, thus effectively stopping him from printing more copies of his book. Not to be deterred, he began to offer it as a "shareware" book on floppy disk.

He also wrote a rather bizarre flyer called "31 Questions And Answers About The IRS", in which he claims that the IRS is an organized crime syndicate collection agency for foreign banks, operating out of Puerto Rico under color of the Federal Alcohol Administration. Don't feel bad if that makes no sense. No one else can understand it either, although far greater minds than myself have tried.

Nevertheless, a problem soon emerged with "The Federal Zone" being distributed on floppy disk. In a nutshell, the verbiage he chose to use in the shareware agreement didn't obligate anyone to pay him anything. See, most shareware agreements state that the author will be paid if the program continues in use after a given number of days, and they also put a time lock on it to ensure it isn't used after that date. Despite his claim to having been a premier computer programmer prior to his foray into the pseudo-legal forum, he failed to safeguard his writing in any way. He didn't even file ownership with the US Copyright Office for fear of bringing himself under the much-feared federal jurisdiction. In other words, he set himself up to be ripped off.

The shareware verbiage used was as follows:

If the information contained in the electronic third edition is useful in any way, we ask that its recipients send $25 in cash, check or money order to .....

So, since readers weren't required to pay him anything, and were only asked to pay if they found the book useful (which of course is completely subjective) he effectively made his shareware into freeware.

Lo and behold, time goes by, and PAM realizes that "The Federal Zone" is available free for download on various sites across the internet. Bear in mind, by this time it was also available free for download on his own site. He began compiling information on those who were offering it for download, and sending them some rather bizarre demand letters. It started out with the following demand for $25, found at www.supremelaw.org/letters/amnesty.htm . In that demand (as well as in his later lawsuits), he states that the copies were modified. However, by modified, he means that sometimes the layout was changed (italics lost in translation, that sort of thing). At no time did he claim that the actual verbiage of the book had been changed. At that point, he claimed that it had been downloaded two million times, which to his mind meant that he was owed $59,283,100.00. If memory serves, only one or two people sent him the $25. He became more and more enraged and, before you know it, he's pulling a Dr. Evil and demanding damages in the billions.

I don't think he realizes to this very day that he caused this problem himself.

This harassment of the people who offered it for download continued over a period of years before he ever even bothered to file a lawsuit. If you'd like to see some of those documents for yourself, a rather interesting website was set up by one of the defendants at www.paulandrewmitchell.com (guess he should have grabbed that url before it was too late, eh?) It contains a rather hilarious synopsis of PAM's lawsuit:

Who Is Paul Andrew Mitchell?

He goes by many names, and lays claim to many skills and creations, many of them beyond verification or below the radar of the legal horizon. He considers himself wronged by a snowballing crowd of people inside and outside the courtroom. He feels it is only a matter of time before he will regain what has been taken from him, and that he has only to present his logic and arguments to a forum to be determined later, and all will be right again.

He wants two billion dollars. He wants it now.

He calls himself Paul Andrew Mitchell, Private Attorney General.

I laugh every time I read that.

At any rate, naturally there is no way for him to know how many people actually downloaded his book, much less read it, much less found it "useful in any way". However, based on his final figures for damages as set forth in his "landmark lawsuit", it appears that he thinks it was outsold only by The Holy Bible.

Eventually he filed suit against just about everyone with a computer. There were literally thousands of defendants including America Online and a number of universities. The only thing they had done was have "The Federal Zone" available on a server, and bear in mind that nowhere did he ever state that it could not be freely distributed. After all, it was freeware, and thus title passed to whomever came into possession of the e-book. Most of the institutional defendants didn't even know it was on their servers, needless to say.

His first lawsuit was filed in federal court, and was dismissed with prejudice (meaning it could not be refiled) because he had failed to state a valid cause of action and the court didn't think a valid cause of action existed. He later refiled in state court, but made claims of federal civil RICO violations, so the second lawsuit was transferred against his wishes back to the very same federal court which had dismissed the previous lawsuit.

Not to be deterred, PAM refused to acknowledge the jurisdiction of the federal court, and kept filing documents in state court. He also filed complaint after complaint about every judge and even clerk who had touched the file on that case. The second lawsuit has since been dismissed on the same grounds as the first lawsuit, but PAM continues to harass the defendants with demands for billions of dollars. See, he doesn't think any of the attorneys representing the defendants are real attorneys (although they most certainly are real attorneys), so he unilaterally decided their clients were in default. No, he didn't file a Motion for Default with the court, nor did the court ever declare anyone in default. PAM did this all on his own. Some people are still receiving demand notices from him. I once did the math on how much PAM thinks he is owed - on the theory that each "default" defendant owes him the entire amount claimed in the lawsuit against thousands of defendants - and at that time it was almost equivalent to the National Debt.

He appealed the original dismissal all the way to the US Supreme Court. In that filing, he stated that the monies were going to be donated to a nonexistent charity allegedly involving an optometrist who had also run afoul of the IRS. However, the case was never heard by the Supreme Court. He filed a motion for enlargement of time, which was denied and the appeal was summarily dismissed for failure to timely prosecute. He didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning anyway, so the Supreme Court dismissal is purely academic.

Eventually - but not at all surprisingly - due to his continued harassment of the defendants and the judges, he was finally declared a vexatious litigant, and now he is not permitted to file anything without leave of court.

His rather bizarre relationship (which apparently exists only in his mind) with Ninth Circuit judge Alex Kozinski (in which he claimed for years that Judge Kozinski was "supervising" his work) is profiled on this blog at http://elfninosmom.blogspot.com/2004/02/judge-alex-kozinski.html . PAM has since had a falling-out with Judge Kozinski due to the outcome of his AOL cases. I'm sure Judge Kozinski doesn't know about this falling-out since it seems highly unlikely that he knows who PAM is in the first place.

However, all this is just the tip of PAM's lunacy. PAM believes the federal judiciary is filled with imposters, and he has expended an unbelievable amount of time trying to prove this. He views himself as something of an undercover operative in the war against terrorism, and regularly contacts the Coast Guard, which he believes is the one branch of military service which has not been infiltrated. He also regularly files for citizen's arrest against both private citizens and government officials, usually federal judges. However, due to the level of his paranoia he uses a series of anonymous drop boxes and remailers for his correspondence, so no one is exactly sure where he resides, although it does seem clear that he lives in California at this point.

It is unknown how PAM makes a living. However, it appears that he lives off public assistance, since he has sued charitable agencies for refusing to pay the deposit on utilities. He sells "certified copies" of both "The Federal Zone" and "31 Questions and Answers About The IRS", although both are available for free download on his website. He also has his own online "law school", which can be attended for the modest fee of $10 per month.

No, PAM is not an attorney, and has never attended law school. He uses the title "private attorney general" because of an obscure law which permits those who prosecute lawsuits on behalf of the public good to be compensated for attorney fees. "Private attorney general" is not, however, a title except in PAM's world. He also claims to be a "Qualified Federal Witness" because he once testified in a case (and he tries to file criminal charges on that basis against anyone who dares question him). Those are the two "titles" most commonly used by PAM. Over the years, his self-endowed titles have varied based upon whatever he's concentrating upon at that time.

And that, folks, is a very short synopsis of the saga of this blog's namesake.

Zabasearch Sucks

There is an internet search service called Zabasearch, which provides information on individuals. Unfortunately, they couldn't find their ass with both hands. It was just brought up in a forum I frequent, and reminded me to post a warning here.

I looked myself up on it a while back, and it showed my correct address, but their "background investigation" showed all kinds of bizarre crap, none of which is correct except that I purchased my current house. They even had my previous address wrong, so I suspect they have me confused with someone else. That's a very serious problem.

I looked Elf up on it, and he's there too even though he has no credit, no arrest record, and not even a speeding ticket. At the time, he was still a minor child, only 17 years old. He does, however, have a trust fund which was probated, and - guess what? - any idiot on the internet can find out information about it. It was about then that I thought, this is major bullshit. Where is our right to privacy? Should any numbnut on the internet be able to find out information about a kid's trust fund?

They even had someone listed as living in my house who has never lived here. The previous owners had lived here since it was built, and it wasn't them. I don't have any idea whatsoever who this person is, and neither does the previous owner. However, that person has the same last name as me, and I have an extremely common last name. Obviously, they're just making this shit up as they go along. "Duh - we don't know where this person lives, but they live somewhere in this mid-size city. Well, hell, we'll just plug them in somewhere, nobody will notice."

Frickin' 'tards. Man, that pisses me off, especially since the mysterious person they have listed as living in my house is a convicted felon who has filed for bankruptcy multiple times according to Zabasearch. How the hell does that make me look, as the owner of this property?

I then looked up my brother, and it had all kinds of bizarre crap about him, too. I have no earthly idea where they're getting this information. They say public records, but obviously either the public records are wrong, which is unlikely, or they're also confusing him with someone else.

In fact, I bet everyone reading this blog is on Zabasearch. I also bet most of the information is incomplete at best, and dead wrong at worst.

The big problem is that, while Zabasearch will let you delete your address and phone number from public view, it will not delete you from its database. That's a humongous problem when they have erroneous information.

They have a link to a FindLaw article, and Zabasearch calls it "Why Zabasearch is legal". However, that's hardly the point of the article. Instead, the article goes into some detail about the dangers of such sites, why they should be illegal, and the pitfalls of enacting legislation banning them.

Look, I'm all for free speech, but I'm also for not providing incorrect information about people that could harm their reputation.

I encourage everyone to contact your Congressman and ask that legislation be enacted to stop this gross invasion of privacy on the internet. Fining Zabasearch for every piece of erroneous and/or misleading information would shut them down in no time flat. It would also serve as a warning to similar services, and hopefully shut them down as well. After all, that's not banning them, which the Findlaw article thought would be a problem. It is, however, holding them responsible for their actions, as well they should be.

If you really want information about someone, don't waste your money on Zabasearch. There are far, far better ways of getting information than wasting your money on their pathetic excuse for a website.

Quatloosian Bible: ElfNinosMom Chapter I

Unlike other sections of the Quatloosian Bible, this one needs an explanation.

Gene Chapman, better known as "TogaDude" to readers of this blog, has gone off the proverbial deep end (again). He has printed a "religious" tract called "Why IRS Employees Go To Hell When They Die". As we speak, he is harassing people in Washington DC for the 4th of July holiday with this crap, dressed in a toga as usual. I thought that saying people were going to hell just because they work for a government agency was pretty un-Christian of him, even though he is just a fake minister. So I decided to add to the Quatloosian Bible, and this chapter is entitled:

WHY GENE CHAPMAN WILL GO TO HELL WHEN HE DIES

1. After six drinks ElfNinosMom took Demo, Joey Smith, and Prof with her and led them up to another bar, where they found a corner booth where they could talk alone. There ElfNinosMom was transfigured before them due to an embarrassing incident.

2. She spilled an entire double shot of Hot Damn on her clothes, and as we all know that won't even come out with bleach. And then Duke2Earl and Lawyer in Montana showed up, because they wanted free drinks from ElfNinosMom too. So they started talking to her in the hopes she'd buy another round.

3. Demo said to ElfNinosMom, "Hey, ENM, it's great hanging out together. Let's make fun of fraudulent tax shelters - the one Gene made, the one Clarkson made, and the ones Johnny Liberty hawked for years until he got arrested (may he stay in jail forever)." The Quatloosians didn't really know what else to say, because they really wanted those drinks and were trying to get ElfNinosMom in a good mood again after she spilled hers.

4. Then someone blew a bunch of cigarette smoke in the direction of the corner booth, and the voice of Sooltauq came out of the cloud of smoke saying, "This is ElfNinosMom, who I tolerate, albeit sometimes only barely, but she has the official Quatloosian Ambassador license plate frame due to a generous donation. Listen to her!"

5. Suddenly, when they looked around, they no longer saw anyone with them except ElfNinosMom, but that's because people were really smoking up a storm in the other booths.

6. They had to get out of that bar before they all died of lung cancer, and ElfNinosMom gave them orders not to tell anybody about her spilling her drink on herself until they had seen Gene Chapman go to heaven, which meant the story would never be told. They kept the matter to themselves, discussing what on earth Gene meant when he said IRS employees go to hell when they die.

7. And they asked ElfNinosMom, who used to be a Sunday School teacher, "Why does a Greek scholar who makes his living as an 'upscale house painter' say that IRS employees will go to hell when they die?"

8. ElfNinosMom replied, "Nobody really said that. They told Gene Chapman he was a frickin' 'tard, and he took that as them saying they agreed with him. Why is it then written that Quatloosian teachings must be rejected by the tax protesters? I tell you, it is because they are frickin' 'tards too, just as we have written about them."

9. When they came to the other Quatloosians, they saw a large crowd of frickin' 'tards around them and the Quatloosian teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw ElfNinosMom, they were overwhelmed with wonder about whether her hair was naturally red, and ran to greet her.

10. "What are you arguing with them about this time?" she asked.

11. A man in the crowd answered, "ElfNinosMom, I brought TogaDude my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of all common sense."

12. "Whenever it seizes him, he starts spouting gibberish about pure trusts and the 16th Amendment and Section 861 of the Internal Revenue Code. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and just generally becomes a real pain in the ass. I asked TogaDude to drive out the spirit since he claims he is an exorcist and even performed an exorcism on an IRS building, but he could not."

13. "Oh, you idiots," ElfNinosMom replied, "why do I even bother talking to you? How long should I have to put up with your crap? Bring the frickin' 'tard to me."

14. So they brought him. When the spirit saw ElfNinosMom, it immediately threw the frickin' 'tard into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth like a tax protester usually does when trying to explain one of their brain-dead theories.

15. ElfNinosMom asked the father, "How long has he been like this?"

16. "From the time he started listening to TogaDude," he answered.

17. "I halfway wish it would throw him into fire or water to kill him, since he's going to end up in prison anyway because of all this tax protester crap. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

18. " 'If you can'?" said ElfNinosMom. "Everything is possible for him who believes in Quatloosia."

19. Immediately the father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

20. When ElfNinosMom saw that a crowd was running to the scene, she rebuked the evil tax protester spirit. "You incredibly stupid tax protester spirit," she said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."

21. The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The son looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead."

22. But ElfNinosMom took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up and started looking around for the proper tax forms.

23. After ElfNinosMom had finally gotten away from that mess, the Quatloosians asked her privately, "Why couldn't TogaDude drive it out?"

24. She replied, "This kind of idiocy can't be driven out by fake preachers, because they only make things worse. Besides, I just conned him into believing it was coming out. These idiots who believe tax protester crap will fall for anything." And the Quatloosians laughed in agreement.

25. They left that forum and passed through Quatloosia. ElfNinosMom did not want anyone to know where they were,

26. because she was trying to hide from David Merrill, just as she and Texino did in the NESARA forum. She said to them, "These idiots think we're betraying the constitution, but they're too dumb to realize they can't even sign the Declaration of Independence. So since I'm tired of reading this crap every day, I'm going to go watch TV, and after three hours or so I'll be back." They understood completely because they were sick of arguing with idiots too.

27. They came to another forum in Quatloosia, and saw TogaDude. When ElfNinosMom got there, she asked him, "What are you arguing about this time, dumbass?"

28. But the Quatloosians kept quiet because they had argued with TogaDude and were sick of listening to his lips flap in the wind on his audioblogs about how his tracts were going to cause mass resignations at the IRS.

29. Sitting down at her desk in front of the computer screen, ElfNinosMom sent a private message to the Quatloosians and said, "If anyone wants to be first to make fun of TogaDude, they're going to have to beat me to it."

30. She took TogaDude and had him stand among them. She wouldn't stand too close to him, because he's known not to bathe, but she said to the Quatloosians,

31. "Whoever makes fun of this frickin' 'tard in my name is alright by me; and whoever is alright by me is probably alright by Sooltauq because he apparently doesn't care if I give these idiots a hard time."

32. "EfNinosMom," said Prof, "we saw a man calling tax protesters frickin' 'tards, which is the nickname you made up for them, and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us."

33. "Do not stop him," ElfNinosMom said. "No one who calls a tax protester a frickin' 'tard in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever doesn't drink the Kool-Aid is not against us, but for us.

34. "I tell you the truth", said ElfNinosMom. "Anyone who gives you a hard time because you belong to Quatloosia will be given one helluva run for their money in return next time I see him."

35. "And if TogaDude's fake preaching causes one of these people to stop filing, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a copy of the Internal Revenue Code tied around his neck."

36. "If his hand causes anyone to stop filing by his typing his fake preaching onto his pathetic blog, cut it off. It is better for him to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out."

37. "And if his mouth causes him to sin because he can't figure out when to stop his fake preaching on the audioblogs, cut out his tongue. It is better for him to enter life without speech than to run his mouth and be thrown into hell."

38. "And if his toga causes someone to stop filing because they think it means he's a real minister, tear it off. No, don't do that. Nobody wants to see that. Okay, leave that on. It is better that Gene wear the fake ministerial toga and be thrown into hell for being a false prophet, where the worm does not die and the fire is not quenched, than for us to be forced to look at Gene naked."

39. "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness because it gets diluted by the Kool-Aid, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with your duty to file income taxes."

Octogenarian Busted Over 911 Pizza Calls

Octogenarian Pizza "Coot" Busted
North Carolina woman, 86, harassed 911 operators, resisted arrest

MAY 25--Meet Dorothy Densmore. The 86-year-old North Carolina woman was locked up in the Mecklenburg County jail for two days in connection with a bizarre pizza delivery incident. According to a Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department report, the octogenarian called 911 over 20 times in less than a half hour on Sunday. A police spokeswoman told TSG that Densmore's emergency was that a pizza place refused to deliver a single slice to her Charlotte apartment, and as if that wasn't upsetting enough, she wanted the person who answered the phone at the pizza joint arrested for calling her a "crazy old coot." Instead, it was the 5-foot, 98-pound woman who ended up posing for a mug shot after she allegedly scratched, kicked, and bit the hand of the cop who showed up at her home in response to all the calls. Densmore is charged with misusing the emergency telephone system and resisting arrest. (3 pages)

Okay, I can see why the 911 operator would be pissed. I can definitely see why the cop would be pissed.

But did it never occur to any of those people with Mecklenburg County Sheriff's Department that an 86-year-old is most likely senile if she's doing something that weird? Do we send old senile people to jail for two days, or do we take them to a hospital for a mental and physical examination?

We take them to the hospital. DUH.

Now look at the photo of the old woman. Does she look senile to you? She sure as hell looks that way to me. DUH.

Frickin' 'tards.

What the hell is "vapor money", and why would anyone believe it exists?

I have just recently been exposed to the theory of "vapor money", in which some scammers claim that banks don't really loan real money for credit cards, mortgages, etc. What they're loaning you (at least according to the "vapor money" theory) is money they create out of thin air.

How is this possible, when indeed money changes hands? Damn good question. Makes no sense, does it?

Nevertheless, there are a lot of scammers out there peddling "debt elimination" and "mortgage elimination" schemes who manage to convince people of the veracity of their clearly stupid theory. A lot of people are being seriously harmed by these scammers, too. They're losing their homes. They're ending up in bankruptcy and, if fraud is proven in bankruptcy court, the debt is not dischargeable. In other words, they will have to pay it anyway.

Then again, maybe they're asking for it. After all, what they want is something for nothing. They want to get a home loan, but they don't want to pay for it. They want to run up incredible credit card debt, but they don't want to pay for the stuff they received. They're deadbeats.

Now, before you get your feathers up, I'm sure there are some people who fall for this because they're simply desperate. That happens, and the scammers count on it. And, they get rich off it. What's sad is that even the desperate end up in even more desperate straits. Unbelievably, they end up with two mortgages instead of just one.

I started to explain "vapor money" and debt/mortgage elimination scams, but ran across this court case that explains it - and the danger of getting involved in the scams that tout it - much better than I could. It's a bit wordy, but stick with it because it's well worth every word.

So, without further ado, here is court's order in the matter of The Frances Kenny Family Trust vs World Savings Bank.


United States District Court,
N.D. California.

THE FRANCES KENNY FAMILY TRUST; Scott Heineman as Trustee; Kurt Johnson, as Trustee; and Scott Heineman and Kurt Johnson as Individual Assignees on Behalf of Frances Kenny, Plaintiffs,
v.
WORLD SAVINGS BANK FSB; The Directors and Officers of World Savings Bank FSB; and Castle Capital Corporation, Defendants.

No. C 04-03724 WHA.

Jan. 19, 2005.


ORDER DENYING PLAINTIFFS' COUNSEL'S MOTION TO WITHDRAW AS MOOT; AWARDING ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS; AND REFERRAL TO THE UNITED STATES ATTORNEY AND THE STATE BAR OF CALIFORNIA

ALSUP, J.

AND RELATED ACTIONS.

INTRODUCTION

This "vapor money" case arises out of an elaborate Internet scam orchestrated by plaintiffs Scott Heineman and Kurt Johnson upon distressed homeowners on the verge of losing their homes. At least fifteen such cases were filed in this district. Nine cases were assigned to the undersigned. Each is frivolous and was filed in bad faith on the theory that no enforceable debt accrues from a lender that funds a loan through wire transfers rather than through hard cash. This alone would warrant an award of attorney's fees and costs. Disturbing allegations, however, have been made by defense counsel that, if true, suggest mail and wire fraud, as set forth below. This matter thus warrants the attention of the United States Attorney as well as the State Bar of California with respect to plaintiffs' counsel, Thomas Spielbauer.

STATEMENT

Plaintiffs Scott Heineman and Kurt Johnson use the Internet to advertise to distressed homeowners, e.g., borrowers who are critically behind on their mortgage payments, that they have a way to "eliminate your mortgage." They advertise that "[t]here is now a PROVEN legal and moral way of eliminating your mortgage while adding $50K to your pocket." The main premise is that no enforceable debt accrues from a lender that funds a loan through wire transfers rather than through hard cash. This is the so-called "vapor money" theory. The way in which Heineman and Johnson "eliminate your mortgage" is described in their website at www.ccresource.net. [FN1]

FN1. A step-by-step outline guides homeowners through this debt-elimination process. At defendants' request, this order finds this outline and other material posted on plaintiffs' website to be proper matter for judicial notice.

The process begins when the homeowner creates an online account with Capital Creation Resource (CCR), owned and operated by plaintiffs. With a username and password, the homeowner accesses plaintiffs' website and completes an online application. The website also requests that the homeowner prepare and sign a promissory note as well as a loan agreement for the encumbered property. The homeowner then sends these documents to plaintiffs with a cashier's check "of $3,000 [to eliminate a] 1st mortgage, and $1,500 [to eliminate] a second mortgage or home equity line of credit." Once this initial fee is received, Heineman and Johnson set up a Family Estate Amenable Complex trust in the homeowner's name, i.e., the Frances Kenny Family Trust. Heineman and Johnson name themselves the trustees. Title to the homeowner's property is transferred to the trust.

Now in charge as trustees, Heineman and Johnson approach the bank or lending institution that lent the homeowner the money to purchase the property. They make a "Presentment" to the bank in the form of "a cash-backed bond in double-amount of the promissory note." The "bond" is allegedly "a valid, rated instrument backed by a $120 Million Letter of Credit against the Assets of an 85-year old, $800 Million Swiss Trust Company." This is essentially an offer to the lender to satisfy the borrower's indebtedness. The alleged "bond," however, is a ploy. The website explains to the homeowner that:
The bank can keep the bond as payment based upon the following certain condition: The Lender must validate the debt. In other words, the Lender must PROVE a legitimate and valid loan was given.
If the Lender accepts the bond and cashes it without providing the necessary documentation regarding the validity of the loan, the Lender agrees that the Client/Trust has been damaged 10 times the amount of the bond. Cashing and acceptance of the bond is acceptance of these conditions. (Remember, the Lender really never loaned you anything).

In addition to the "bond," Heineman and Johnson hire "Trustee lawyers" to "begin the legal process by sending out a legal complaint in the form of a CPA Report that outlines 40 or more different federal laws that have been violated in the 'lending process." ' The lending institution thereafter has a certain time frame within which to respond to the complaint. Purportedly, the homeowner will be notified by plaintiffs' legal team when the loan is "satisfied." The homeowner's "lender may or may not let [you] know or acknowledge this."

Once the loan is satisfied, "re-financing begins." The homeowner is told to "refinance [his] property at the maximum loan to value ratio possible" with a new lender. The alleged "purpose of this new re-financing is for you, the client, to compensate the Provider and CCR." Heineman and Johnson are the "Provider." They run CCR. The proceeds from this new loan are disbursed as follows: "The Provider receives 50%. CCR receives 25%. You, the client, receives the other 25%." This entire process takes "5-7 months in most cases." And, "[t]he end result is that the [homeowner] gets free and clear title to the home and a good amount of cash in hand."

Plaintiffs, however, perpetrate a fraud to "satisfy" the original indebtedness. [FN2] One of the documents Heineman and Johnson present to the bank or lending institution is entitled a "power of attorney." This document demands that the lender sign and thereby acknowledge that it has given the homeowner "vapor money" in exchange for an interest (via a deed of trust) in the subject property at the time of financing. A provision of this "power of attorney" provides that the lender's "silence is deemed consent." When the lender fails to respond, plaintiffs execute the power of attorney. They then sign a deed of reconveyance reconveying the lender's security interest in the property to Heineman and Johnson. The forged power of attorney and the deed of reconveyance are duly recorded at the county recorder's office. The county's records thus show a power of attorney from the lender granting Heineman and Johnson the right to sign the deed of reconveyance and the reconveyance from the original lender. The title seems clear and unencumbered. The lender is unaware of the maneuver.

FN2. These additional details were brought to the Court's attention at a recent hearing by Ronald M. Arlas, co-counsel for defendant Greenpoint Mortgage Funding Inc. At the Court's request, Mr. Arlas thereafter submitted a declaration and documentation to support the allegations made at the hearing. The Court does not rely on these materials for the purpose of assessing attorney's fees and costs. These matters, however, are relevant to demonstrate the broader (likely fraudulent) reaches of plaintiffs' conduct.

Plaintiffs then turn around and from an unsuspecting new lender seek a loan to refinance the property. When the new lender conducts a preliminary title search, it discovers the power of attorney and deed of reconveyance, both of which appear to have been validly executed. From the new lender's point of view, the property appears to be unencumbered. And it is thus willing to refinance the property. Assuming that a refinancing loan of $200,000 is obtained, the proceeds are disbursed according to plaintiffs' agreement with the borrower (i.e., fifty percent to Heineman and Johnson, 25 percent to CCR and 25 percent to the borrower). Plaintiffs clear at least $150,000. The remaining $50,000 supposedly goes to the borrower, who, of course, has the obligation to repay all $200,000.

At the conclusion of this process, the borrower is in even worse condition than when he or she first looked to plaintiffs for debt relief. Two lenders believe that they have valid security interests in the subject property. When the homeowner defaults on both loans, both lenders commence foreclosure proceedings. In response, Heineman and Johnson, as trustees, file a bankruptcy petition on behalf of the borrower or file suit alleging that no enforceable debt accrued from either lender because the loans were funded through wire transfers rather than cash. Fifteen such lawsuits were filed in this district on such a "vapor money" theory. [FN3]

FN3. The Case Family Trust, et al. v. Ameriquest Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04559; The James J. Shyrock, Jr. Family Trust, et al. v. America's Wholesale Lender, et al., No. C 04-04487; The Shavirovich Family Trust, et al. v. WMC Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04486; The Beard Family Trust, et al. v. Washington Mutual Bank, et al., No. C 04-04466; The Pafundi Family Trust, et al. v. Wells Fargo Bank N.A., et al., No. C 04- 04465; The Mitchell Family Trust, et al. v. Keybank Nat'l Ass'n, et al., No. C 04-04285; The Edward A. & Janice L. Costa Family Trust, et al. v. Capital Commerce Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04246; The Heineman Family Trust, et al. v. Freedom Mortgage Corp., et al., No. C 04-04185; The Elisia's Hope Trust, et al. v. Fieldstone Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04- 04014; The Komes Family Trust, et al. v. World Savings Bank, et al., No. C 04-04013; The Margery Naomi Johnson Family Trust, et al. v. Homecoming Financial Network, Inc., et al., No. C 04-04012; The Williamson Family Trust, et al. v. CIT Group/Consumer Finance, Inc., et al., No. C 04-03898; The Magoon Family Trust, et al. v. Greenpoint Mortgage Funding, et al., No. C 04-03897; The Raymond J. Gaudreau Family Trust, et al. v. Ameriquest Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-03776; and The Frances Kenny Family Trust, et al. v. World Savings Bank FSB, et al., No. C 04-03724.

* * *

This Court rejected plaintiffs' theory in The Frances Kenny Family Trust, et al. v. World Savings Bank FSB, et al., No. C 04-03724. This is the current procedural posture. Following the dismissal of the Kenny complaint under Rule 8 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, an order was issued directing plaintiffs' counsel Thomas Spielbauer to show cause why he should not be sanctioned and referred to the State Bar of California. The Court set a briefing schedule and the matter was set for hearing. Mr. Spielbauer was sanctioned ten-thousand dollars. At the hearing, he tendered a check in that amount to defendant World Savings Bank FSB, who had brought the motion to dismiss. At the time, the Court decided not to refer Mr. Spielbauer to the State Bar. Counsel was further directed to dismiss the remaining "vapor money" cases. Mr. Spielbauer confirmed that he would do so. Eventually, each case would be dismissed.

However, prior to voluntarily dismissing five such cases, Mr. Spielbauer moved in each case to withdraw as plaintiffs' counsel. [FN4] Various defendants opposed the withdrawal request and made demands for attorney's fees and costs. A hearing was held. The main question is whether plaintiffs' voluntary dismissals stripped this Court of jurisdiction to make any further rulings, including rulings on counsel's motions to withdraw and the various requests for attorney's fees and costs. Additional briefing on these matters was requested and received.

FN4. Motions to withdraw were filed in the following actions: The Edward A. & Janice L. Costa Family Trust, et al. v. Capital Commerce Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04246; The Elisia's Hope Trust, et al. v. Fieldstone Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04014; The Komes Family Trust, et al. v. World Savings Bank, et al., No. C 04-04013; The Williamson Family Trust, et al. v. CIT Group/Consumer Finance, Inc., et al., No. C 04-03898; The Magoon Family Trust, et al. v. Greenpoint Mortgage Funding, et al., No. C 04-03897; and The Frances Kenny Family Trust, et al. v. World Savings Bank FSB, et al., No. C 04-03724.

ANALYSIS

A plaintiff's right to dismiss under Rule 41(a)(1)(i) of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure is absolute before a defendant serves an answer or files a motion for summary judgment. American Soccer Co., Inc. v. Score First Enterprises, 187 F.3d 1108, 1110-12 (9th Cir.1999). Even where a defendant has filed a motion to dismiss, a plaintiff may terminate the action voluntarily by filing a notice of dismissal under Rule 41(a)(1). Concha v. Londo, 62 F.3d 1493, 1506-07 (9th Cir.1995). Hence, "a dismissal under Rule 41(a)(1) is effective on filing, no court order is required, the parties are left as though no action had been brought, the defendant can't complain, and the district court lacks jurisdiction to do anything about it." Commercial Space Mgmt. Co., Inc. v. Boeing Co., Inc., 193 F.3d 1074, 1078 (9th Cir.1999).

*4 In light of the foregoing, there can be no dispute that once the voluntary dismissals were filed, Mr. Spielbauer's motions to withdraw were rendered moot. This order thus denies those motions on that basis. The Court, however, does not agree that the same result must apply to the various requests for attorney's fees and costs.

A district court has the inherent power to assess attorney's fees against a party who has "acted in bad faith, vexatiously, wantonly, or for oppressive reasons." Alyeska Pipeline Service Co. v. Wilderness Society, 421 U.S. 240, 258-59 (1975) (internal quotations omitted). In this regard, if a court finds "that fraud has been practiced upon it, or that the very temple of justice has been defiled," it may assess attorney's fees against the responsible party. Universal Oil Products Co. v. Root Refining Co., 328 U.S. 575, 580 (1946). In such instances, the imposition of sanctions "transcends a court's equitable power concerning relations between the parties and reaches a court's inherent power to police itself, thus serving the dual purpose of 'vindicat[ing] judicial authority without resort to the more drastic sanctions available for contempt of court and mak[ing] the prevailing party whole for expenses caused by his opponent's obstinacy." ' Chambers v. Nasco, 501 U.S. 32, 46 (1991) (quoting Universal Oil, 328 U .S. at 580).

The Court here has seen the scam at work. Greater bad faith would be hard to imagine. Plaintiffs and their counsel have employed a smokescreen to burden various lending institutions and impose upon them litigation costs in hopes of extracting settlements. The complaint filed in Kenny is exemplary of plaintiffs' oppressive litigation tactics. In a 35-page, 221-paragraph complaint, plaintiffs made the following baseless allegations:
• World Savings "placed the promissory note into a temporary depository account in Frances Kenny's name and recorded the note as an asset ... thereafter removed this asset into a transactional account ... and issued credits from that account which constituted the draft which was issued" (Compl. 41).
• World Savings "removed the corpus of this deposit from Frances Kenny's temporary depository account without the knowledge nor consent of Frances Kenny" (id. 42).
• The note and deed of trust executed by Kenny on July 18, 2002 were "uncertified security instruments" (id. 44).
• World Savings "converted Frances Kenny's promissory note into a negotiable instrument without compensation to Frances Kenny" (id. 46).
• World Savings "converted the promissory note of which the deed of trust was security into a self funding note" (id. 47).
• World Savings "took this note, monetized it, and then recorded it as an asset on its accounting books" (id. 48).
• World Savings "utilized this note as a money reserve and engaged in other loans of non-existent (vapor) money based on the recorded asset value of this promissory note" (id. 49) (emphasis added).
*5 • World Savings "converted the equity value of Frances Kenny's interest in the promissory note into an exchange of credits" (id. 50).
• "This exchange of credits did not transfer entitlement rights nor meet the standard of a sale for such rights under the Uniform Commercial Code nor under any other standard of commercial law" (id. 51).
• World Savings "did this under the auspices of fractional reserve banking" (id. 52).
• The "sale of servicing rights is not equal to the legal rights in the assets" (id. 55).
• "By World Savings Bank FSB's act of conversion of Frances Kenny's promissory note, Frances Kenny and Defendant World Savings Bank FSB simply exchanged negotiable instruments" (id. 56).
• By "converting the promissory note," Kenny and World Savings "simply exchanged book entry securities credits" (id. 57).
• World Savings misrepresented to Kenny that this book entry securities exchange was instead a debt owed by Kenny to World Savings (id. 58).
• World Savings failed to disclose to Kenny "the asset entries on the bank accounting ledger" (id. 59).
• World Savings did not disclose to Kenny "that it would convert the promissory note into a monetized negotiable instrument upon which it would 'lend' as available money to other 'borrowers' over ten (10) times the amount of Frances Kenny's promissory note" (id. 60).
• Although plaintiffs acknowledge making monthly payments to World Savings, Kenny "does not owe this money" to World Savings (id. 63-65).
These contentions have no basis in fact. They are disjointed, vague and incomprehensible. Fourteen separate complaints containing nearly identical allegations were filed in this district.

Moreover, plaintiffs' "vapor money" theory has no basis in law. It has been squarely addressed and rejected by various courts throughout the country for over twenty years. See, e.g., Nixon v. Individual Head of St. Joseph Mortg. Co., 615 F.Supp. 898 (C.D.Ind.1985); Theil v. First Federal Sav. & Loan Ass'n of Marion, 646 F.Supp. 592 (N.D.Ind.1986); In re Stickland, 179 B.R. 979 (Bankr.N.D.Ga.1995); Rene v. Citibank NA, 32 F.Supp.2d 539 (E.D.N.Y.1999); Hinz v. Washington Mut. Home Loans, 2004 WL 729239 (D.Minn.2004). Plaintiffs' counsel completely neglected to bring these authorities to the attention of the Court. It is this kind of abuse of the judicial process (again, which the Court has seen first hand) that justifies an award of attorney's fees against plaintiffs and their counsel.

In a similar vein, the Court has the authority to award costs incurred. Despite plaintiffs' voluntary dismissals, a district court retains jurisdiction to consider collateral matters such as requests for costs. Cooter & Gell v. Hartmarx Corp., 496 U.S. 384, 395-96 (1990) (recognizing generally that "federal courts may consider collateral issues after an action is no longer pending," including motions for costs); Sequa Corp. v. Cooper, 245 F.3d 1036, 1037-38 (8th Cir.2001) (noting that voluntary dismissal without prejudice under Rule 41(a)(1)(i) does not deprive a district court of its authority to award costs).

Against this backdrop, this order turns to the various applications for attorney's fees and costs. In most instances, counsel submitted their fee requests through lodestar calculations, having multiplied the number of hours spent defending this litigation by the hourly rate of each attorney who performed services. In the Court's view, some of these requests were inflated or presented insufficient specificity to support the requested amount. [FN5] As such, reductions have been made where necessary. The following chart sets forth the respective awards to each attorney in each applicable case, which plaintiffs and their counsel (jointly and severally) are hereby ordered to pay within thirty days:

FN5. By way of example, attorney Karen A. Braje made a fee request of $29,795.18 as counsel for defendant CIT Group/Consumer Finance, Inc., in The Williamson Family Trust, et al. v. CIT Group/Consumer Finance, Inc., et al., No. C 04-0389. She also requested fees of $34,026.50 as counsel for defendant Ocwen Federal Bank FSB in The Elisia's Hope Trust, et al. v. Fieldstone Mortgage Co., et al., No. C 04-04014. Although counsel filed motions to dismiss for each client, the motions were largely duplicative in style and substance. This order thus finds the fee requests excessive and reduces them to so reflect.






ATTORNEY Case Attorney's Fees Costs Total

Richard Darwin 04-03776 $7,000.00 $7,000.00

Brian Cella 04-03897 $10,000.00 $245.36 $10,245.36

Sunny S. Huo 04-03897 $10,000.00 $174.27 $10,174.27
04-04246 $5,000.00 $886.93 $5,886.93

Ronald M. Arlas 04-03897 $4,000.00 $4,000.00

Julie M. Wei & 04-03898 $10,000.00 $10,000.00
Paul E. Rice 04-04014 $10,000.00 $10,000.00

Karen A. Braje 04-03898 $10,000.00 $10,000.00
04-04014 $10,000.00 $10,000.00



* * *

Given the serious and disturbing nature of the allegations set forth above, including the possibility of mail and wire fraud to further an Internet scam upon distressed and vulnerable citizens about to lose their homes, not to mention the lenders, the Clerk shall send a copy of this order to Kevin V. Ryan, United States Attorney for the Northern District of California, 450 Golden Gate Avenue, Box 36055, San Francisco, California 94102. The Court makes no recommendation as to how the United States Attorney should deal with the instant matter.

This matter is further referred to the State Bar of California. Accompanying his requests to withdraw, Mr. Spielbauer submitted a declaration under seal explaining that he brought these "vapor money" cases in good faith and in no way participated in the possibly fraudulent conduct discussed above. The declaration has been considered in full. The Court still questions whether any member of the State Bar in good standing, and especially a former deputy public defender like Mr. Spielbauer, could have agreed to represent litigants like Heineman and Johnson and filed as many cases on their behalf as was done here. The Clerk shall send a copy of this order to: Intake Unit, The State Bar of California, 1149 South Hill Street, Los Angeles, California 90015. Again, the Court makes no recommendation as to how the State Bar should address the issue.

CONCLUSION

In light of the foregoing, this order DENIES Mr. Spielbauer's motions to withdraw as MOOT. Within thirty days of this order, plaintiffs Scott Heineman and Kurt Johnson and plaintiffs' counsel Thomas Spielbauer (jointly and severally) shall pay the attorney's fees and costs set forth above. The Clerk shall send a copy of this order to the United States Attorney and the California State Bar. The Clerk shall further file this order in the following cases: No. C 04-03724; No. C 04-03776; No. C 04-03897; No. C 04-03898; No. C 04-04013; No. C 04-04014; and No. C 04-04246. As this order resolves the various motions for attorney's fees and costs, the hearings thereon are hereby VACATED.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

2005 WL 106792 (N.D.Cal.)

Wendy's Finger Mystery Solved

Owner of disembodied finger identified

Well, it appears that the mystery of the bizarro Wendy's finger-in-the-chili incident has been solved.

The finger belonged to a friend of the scammer's husband. The finger-missing friend had lost the appendage in an industrial accident in December. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the scammer's husband is presently on jail, pending charges of identity theft.

At this point in time, I'm just disappointed that she didn't falsely find the finger in something cooked at KFC. That would make for some finger-lickin' good jokes, at least.

I'm still not real sure why the guy would give somebody his disembodied finger, or why he would even have it. Did he not go to the hospital? If he did, why did they return his finger to him instead of discarding it as medical waste? Very weird, if you ask me.

Even weirder is the fact that, all along, police thought it was a woman's finger because it had a well-groomed long nail. It wasn't. It was a guy's finger. That's even grosser than finding a finger in your chili. Okay, maybe not grosser, but it's way up there on the gross-o-matic scale.

Robert Clarkson aka "The Great One"

There is an attorney in the tax protester movement who has been telling people for years now that he is a freedom-loving patriotic type - you know, the kind who would rip the head off a wild bear to protect the freedom of all similarly minded freedom-loving Americans. Clarkson has given up everything for our freedom, including his own livelihood as an attorney, or at least that's what he wants all his marks to think. In fact, on his website, it states

Our stead fast Patriot was a member of SC Bar Association and he refused to pay Bar Association dues because of it’s immoral and illegal spending programs. Consequently, he was suspended

.

Okay, so no one can really find fault if he found their programs immoral and illegal; he was merely standing up for what he believes .... Right? Well, it would seem that way, if all you knew was his side of the story. However, like all good stories, this one has another side .... a very shady side. See, Robert Clarkson is not allowed to practice law anymore, that much is true. Like always, though, the devil is in the details. See, he wasn't suspended, he was disbarred. Why was he disbarred, you may ask? Well, it appears that, among other things, he likes to file liens against his clients to collect money he knows he is not owed, and he likes to steal poor people's welfare checks and hold them as ransom to force them to settle lawsuits. But hey, don't just take it from me. Let's let the South Carolina Supreme Court tell you why Robert Clarkson was disbarred.

Supreme Court of South Carolina.
In the Matter of Robert Barnwell CLARKSON, Respondent.
No. 20686.
May 15, 1978.

This attorney disciplinary proceeding was initially commenced against Robert Barnwell Clarkson, respondent, in July 1976. He was found by both the Panel and the Board of Commissioners on Grievances and Discipline (Board) to have engaged in unprofessional conduct as follows:

(1) he charged an excessive fee and attempted to bring pressure on a Mr. and Mrs. Norris to pay his fee (although not incurred by them) by filing a second action and a lis pendens against their property after the first action had been dismissed with prejudice; and

(2) he wrongfully withheld a welfare check from a Mrs. Lollis in order to harass her and extend pressure upon her to settle with his client.

The matter came to be presented to this court in June of 1977. Prior to our taking action upon the recommendation of the Board, two matters occurred in the United States District Court of South Carolina, of which judicial notice was taken:

(1) Respondent was indicted on 92 counts for causing to be presented to the Treasury, United States Revenue Service, an agency of the United States, claims, knowing them to be fraudulent, in violation of Title 18, United States Code, ss 287 and 2.

(2) Respondent was on August 16, 1977, cited for contempt of court by the Honorable Charles E. Simons, Jr., United States District Judge.

On October 12, 1977, we filed an interlocutory order affirming the action of the Board in its finding that the respondent had engaged in unprofessional conduct, but withheld sanction pending exploration by the Board of the two matters which had occurred in the United States District Court. In that order we directed that: "The Board shall make its own determination of whether or not the two matters enumerated above constitute unprofessional conduct and, if so, what sanction should be imposed in the light of the proceedings already held and those to be held hereafter."

On October 26, 1977, an amending and supplementing complaint was filed against the respondent, charging further misconduct on his part by reason of charges made and the action taken in the United States District Court. Hearings were held in November, 1977.

By letter, dated February 14, 1978, to the Chief Justice, the respondent submitted his resignation as a member of the bar. In that letter he stated: "Also, I have plead guilty in Federal Court to five felony counts concerning preparation of Income Tax Returns. Further, I have been found in contempt of Court in the US District Court." The offer of resignation was not accepted.

On February 17, 1978, the Executive Committee of the Board submitted its report to this court, recommending that the respondent be disbarred. This was consistent with the recommendations of the hearing Panel.

[1] The matter came to be heard again before this court at the April, 1978, term. At the hearing, respondent's counsel indicated a desire to consent to disbarment as permitted by s 27 of our Rules on Disciplinary Procedure. Section 27 permits an attorney to consent to disbarment provided he complies with the rule. The respondent has, by a written instrument, consented to disbarment, but he has failed to comply with the rule and, accordingly, we proceed to dispose of the matter as though no attempt had been made to consent to disbarment.

[2] At the hearing before us in the April, 1978, term, counsel stated to the court that respondent is now attempting to withdraw his guilty pleas to five counts entered in the United States District Court, and indicated that the contempt of court finding of guilty is now being appealed to the United States Supreme Court. The same has already been affirmed by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeal. Our finding of misconduct and the sanction hereinafter imposed does not hinge upon the outcome of either the petition to withdraw guilty pleas or the action of the United States Supreme Court since our findings are independent.

In the light of the history of this case, recited hereinabove, we deem it unnecessary to detail the evidence relative to the various offenses which have been proved to the satisfaction of the hearing Panel and the Board and/or Executive Committee. Suffice it to say that we agree that the respondent has been guilty of misconduct as an attorney, in violation of our Rules and in violation of the Code of Professional Responsibility, and agree with the recommendation of the Executive Committee that the respondent should be, and he hereby is disbarred.

It is ordered that the respondent Robert Barnwell Clarkson return the certificate issued by this court, granting him the right to practice law, to the Clerk of the Supreme Court of South Carolina within five days after notice of this directive.

Let's review, shall we? He tried to resign, but what he did was so heinous, so morally reprehensible, that they refused to accept his resignation. Nothing short of putting what he did in the public record was good enough for the Supreme Court. That's pretty damn bad.

I think I like South Carolina. They disbarred this nitwit, and they involuntarily committed TogaDude then charged him with reckless endangerment for that little leaking propane incident. Speaking of TogaDude, Clarkson was one of the people who encouraged him to self-immolate and thus become a martyr for the tax protester movement.

By now, you're probably wondering why I called this piece "Robert Clarkson aka "The Great One". Well, there's a good reason for that. See, Clarkson likes to dress up. By that, I don't mean that he dons a tuxedo and top hat. No, I mean that he wears a sombrero, along with a cape emblazoned with the words "The Great One" on the back. I'm still unsure if those words refer to his bloated self-image, or his massive girth, but nevertheless, that's what he wears.

Whoo-boy. Makes you wonder where they get these guys, doesn't it? And if the gurus are so weird, you can only imagine how weird the followers are.

Craig and Jamie Are Poor

This is an unusual post for this blog since it doesn't involve either a scam or a frickin' 'tard, but I thought it was hilarious enough to note this website as an example of something that may seem to be a scam, but is not.

ElfNino pointed me to a website called Craig and Jamie Are Poor. The website is the brainchild of two college students. Rather than describing their site, let me quote from it:

Everyone knows what it's like to be broke at one time or another, and college is one of the hardest times when it comes to having extra cash. So why not take a little pressure off of a couple of easy-going college kids. Both of us pay tuition, room + board, books, living expenses, etc. on our own. As a result both of us have some big bills to pay, so after paying those off we have little money to relax, party, go out with friends, and sometimes class. You may think that we're typical lazy kids looking for a handout, well the handout part is true but we both work jobs that take a lot of time and pay very little.

Top Reasons to Give (in no particular order):
1. You remember being poor once, probably in college.
2. Make it so Jamie doesn't have to take risky experimental meds anymore.
3. Craig needs diabetes meds.
4. You get our undying gratitude.
5. You have nothing better to spend a few bucks on, and it's an interesting conversation piece.
6. We plan on paying this money forward to college students when we have careers.
7. Donation made in the name of a friend is always a good time.
8. Please

We're not PBS, and we don't give tote bags for money. But we do appreciate any money you donate and do have a few incentives for you.
1. Gifts of $2 or more get their name on the Donor page.
2. Gifts of $5 or more get a personalized picture from us, incorporating your name in someway. We are creative, so it's bound to be interesting. We take requests.
3. $20 or more, think up something we can do, up to you here. (something reasonable)
4. $50 or more and one of us will father your child! (not really)
5. A gift of $100 or more and we will perform your wedding ceremony! Jamie has recently become an ordained minister

.

I am wondering if Jamie became ordained through the Universal Life Church previously discussed in this blog. Not that it really matters since millions of people get ordained that way, but I can't help but be curious given his age. Perhaps he'll visit the blog and fill us in.

Anyway I figured, what the hell. They're at least honest, which is refreshing. So I sent them $5 from ElfNino. Besides, it's worth the $5 just to see what kind of photo they come up with. He requested that they write "Thanks Elf" on their foreheads in permanent marker, LOL.

Hey, they never said the photo request had to be reasonable. ;-)

Woman Puts Severed Finger In Chili

Okay, this is almost too weird even for me. I put off posting anything until after she was arrested, to see how it would play out.

A woman named Anna Ayala claimed that she found a human finger in a cup of Wendy's chili. She said she was going to sue, and even hired an attorney. Then she said she wasn't going to sue because it was too stressful.

What the hell? If I find a human finger in my food, you can bet your ass I'm going to sue. But, this woman didn't find a human finger in her food, at least not one she didn't put there herself.

Now, we all know that Wendy's didn't serve a bowl of chili with a 1.5 inch amputated human finger in it. That would be more than a little hard to overlook, because those servings of chili just are not that big. Furthermore, tests showed that the finger had not been cooked in the chili.

But, Ayala went on Good Morning America and was in all the papers, swearing that she was telling the truth.

The woman in question is quite the scammer. She has also been charged with selling a mobile home she didn't even own. She has filed 13 civil actions in California and Nevada, involving her and her children. Apparently a lot of them settled out of court. Most of those lawsuits involved car wrecks, not surprisingly since that's a big scam in and of itself. She sued for sexual harassment. She sued a car dealership and tire manufacturer, claiming the wheel fell of her car.

And yes, at least one of those lawsuits - just last year - involved a fast food chain.

Anyway, the cops and Wendy's broke their backs looking for the mysterious finger-missing person. They checked all the employees, and even the suppliers. The law requires that such an accident be reported, and it never was. They never found anyone with a missing finger.

The weirdest thing of all is, there was indeed an amputated human finger involved. It was a woman's finger, with a long groomed nail.

The question remains, how did this nutcase get a human finger in the first place? Did she cut off someone's finger? Did it come from a corpse? Surely she didn't just find a human finger laying around somewhere. The cops are investigating the possibility of an unreported homicide. There is also a rumor that it could be the finger of her deceased aunt. She denies having a recently deceased aunt, but at this point I don't think anyone can believe a word she has to say.

Whose finger is it? That's the question at the center of this controversy, and a question that the cops are trying to answer.

I guess this frickin' 'tard didn't realize that fingers have fingerprints. They can trace the finger that way, assuming the person whose finger is missing has been fingerprinted. If it was indeed the finger of her deceased aunt, DNA can prove it. Or, they could exhume the body to see if it's missing a finger.

Wendy's is offering a reward for verifiable information regarding the source of the finger. First the reward was 50K, now it's 100K.

The woman was arrested and charged with attempted grand theft. She hasn't been charged with anything specific to her possession of a severed human finger, but I'm sure that's coming as soon as they figure out from where the finger came.

ElfNino Pic

Okay, here's a treat for anyone who ever wondered what my son ElfNino looks like:



Incidentally ... those are his real curls, and he actually does play guitar. In fact, he kicks ass - even Led Zeppelin isn't a challenge for him.

No, he didn't get that talent from me.

Gene Chapman, Attention Whore Pic

Man Kills Family Dog Because Of Its Name

Every once in a while, I read a small-town newspaper for kicks and grins. And more often than not, I run across some pretty weird stuff.

This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read.

Apparently, in Gerrardstown, West Virginia, Kenneth James Watkins (age 22) killed the family dog. Correction. He didn't just kill the 11-year-old black and white border collie. He slaughtered the poor thing. He killed it using two pickaxes.

Why did he kill the family dog, you might ask? Well, the poor little fella's name was "Felony", and it reminded the frickin' 'tard Watkins that he had just been charged with a felony. Apparently this dumbass had been charged with grand larceny in connection with the theft of a pickup truck, and had just bailed out of jail.

That's not even going into what kind of person would name their dog "Felony". I think we can all figure that out.

Watkins told his family what he had done, and his aunt threw him out of the house. I'm not sure why he was living with his aunt, because the story didn't say. If I had to render a guess, I'd say he was staying with her because he's a loser. Anyway, she called the police. And when the police arrived, they found the dog's freshly dug grave.

On that grave was a sign that said "Don't Kill No More Dogs".

It's unclear who posted the sign. It's also unclear whether the person who wrote it is illiterate, or if the double negative meant that he should kill more dogs.

On the bright side, Watkins was charged with yet another felony, for killing Felony. He's being held in the Eastern Regional Jail on $20,000 bond. In fact, here's the frickin' 'tard's mug shot, presented for your amusement:



Now, I'm not sure if this 'tard was on crack or meth, or if he's just a cruel sonofabitch who ought to be put under the jail. No, I take that back. I don't care what his excuse might be. Either way, he should be put under the jail.

Anyway, I thought that was a pretty bizarre story. Since I talk so much about tax protesters in this blog, it bears stating that I doubt he's a tax protester. I doubt he even has a job since he was living with his aunt. And you don't have to file taxes if you don't make any money. Just thought I'd clear that up.

BIZARRO TAX PROTESTER OBSESSED WITH THIS BLOG

I'm not sure if any other bloggers have experienced this phenomenon, but I thought I'd mention it.

I'm being repeatedly annoyed by some freakazoid who's obsessed with one single entry from this blog. It's important to note that this entry was from last year, and he keeps bringing it up at every opportunity. In fact, he brought it up yet again today.

As background .... I'm a regular contributor at Quatloos, which is a bulletin board that (among other things) exposes stupid de-tax schemes and scams. There's a guy there - a tax protester without the balls to actually stop paying taxes - who goes by the name "SteveSy". We usually call him Steviepoo, or some other variation on the name. He owns some kind of computer company, but I don't get the impression that he really knows much about computers.

On at least five different occasions (and possibly more), Steviepoo has mentioned my Ronald Reagan entry. Like most frickin' 'tards, he is utterly incapable of understanding anything on this blog, so I don't waste my time debating it with him, much less discussing it. I usually either just ignore him, or tell him to piss off. However, this is getting more than a little weird that he keeps bringing it up out of the blue, especially so long after it was published.

Then at one point he brought up the blog entry naming all the people killed in the war. He seems to think I'm a socialist because I dared to speak against two presidents. In fact, he has called me a socialist on numerous occasions. Today he called me a "fricking liberal tard of the year". That's offensive to me only because he misspelled the term, incidentally. I really don't care what he thinks about me. But, I digress.

He believes the present war is acceptable despite the fact that the only weapon of mass destruction I've seen so far is George W. Bush. Yet he doesn't think he has any legal obligation to pay taxes to fund the war machine. I guess he thinks the federal government has a giant ass out of which to pull federal reserve notes. He seems to believe that the government can just print more money, problem solved.

Oh, did I mention that he regularly channels the innermost thoughts of the founding fathers?

You get the idea.

I feel sorry for the guy, in a way. He obviously has some serious problems, or he'd realize (like the rest of the world) that there is indeed an income tax. If he thought there was no income tax and didn't pay taxes, I could at least respect him for standing by his convictions. Instead, he spends an inordinate amount of time on an internet bulletin board trying to convince others that there is no income tax, while he himself pays.

Can you say "hypocrite"?

I used to find him highly amusing. Now, though, I'm beginning to wonder about him. This obsession with something I wrote so long ago is not only bizarre, it's unbalanced. Honestly, I think he pays more attention to this blog than I do.

Perhaps when he reads this, he'll begin to understand just how deranged he really sounds to others.

Probably not, though.

TOGADUDE RELEASED FROM PSYCH FACILITY, IMMEDIATELY JAILED

It turns out that I was wrong about how long they'd keep wannabe self-immolator Gene Chapman at the state psychiatric hospital. After detaining him on an involuntary commitment order for about 42 days, he was released on Friday 2/11.

He is now a guest of the Greenville County Detention Center on a charge of reckless endangerment. It appears from the jail website that bond was denied, but it's unclear whether that was just because the judge who originally saw him was leaving that decision up to the assigned judge.

Here's the entry from the jail log:

Name:
CHAPMAN, GENE KEN
Gender:
MALE
Race:
WHITE
Date of Birth:
8/24/66
Hair Color:
UNKNOWN
Eye Color:
BLUE
Height:
5' 09"
Weight:
234 lb
Housing Unit:
MHC07 - B# 1 HLD CEL (Building One)

Charge 1 :
RECKLESS ENDANGER
Charge Date:
2/11/05
Warrant:
H884618
Arresting Agency:
CITY OF GREENVILLE
Trial Judge:
HAWLEY
Commiting Judge:
BINNS
Sentence:
02/11/2005 - No Bond set by Judge

Of particular interest is his height (5'9") and weight (234 lbs). For a man who just recently went through a "death fast" of over 20 days' duration, he sure is hefty. This only confirms the suspicion that he was eating when he said he was fasting.

I'll update the blog as soon as I have more information.

QUATLOOSIAN BOOK OF REVELATION

Chapter 1

1. The revelation of ElfNinosMom, which TogaDude gave her to show fellow Quatloosians what must soon take place.

2. She made it known by sending her fingers to rest upon the keyboard and thus testify to everything which was seen.

3 Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

Greetings to the seven corporations sole in the state of Nevada:

4. Grace and peace to you from she who is, and who was, and who is surprisingly still here, and from the Jack Daniels, Bailey's Irish Creme, and the other spirits before her throne, and from all of Quatloosia.

5. To the IRS who loves us according to TogaDude, and has freed us from our sins of omission by providing the forms upon which to report our income from whatever source derived, and because of which Quatloosia was made to be a kingdom! Amen.

6. Look, Sooltauq is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the tax deniers of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen.

7. Demosthenes, your sister and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Quatloosia, was on the island of Enon Kio because of the word and the testimony of Sooltauq.

8. On that day I had dipped heavily into the spirits again, and instead of seeing pink elephants I heard behind me a loud yet annoying voice which said: “Type on your laptop with the cocoa-soaked keyboard what you see and send it to the seven corporations sole.”

9. I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven certificates allegedly representing actual gold, and among the certificates was someone like a man dressed in a Martha Stewart sheet purchased on clearance.

10. His head was bald and his glasses were out of fashion. His feet were filthy and clad in cheap Wal-Mart sandals, and his voice was like the sound of fingernails upon a chalkboard.

11. In his right hand he held seven FRNs, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged razor blade which he had previously used while pretending to practice suicide on his knuckles. His face was covered in ashes, as he had just performed another fake exorcism.

12. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead from the stench. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I did many death fasts, but lived thanks to the potato chips, and I threatened self-immolation but was spared by virtue of the socialist/communist mental health system; and behold I am alive for ever and ever!

13. And I hold the keys of death and Hades, as this is where I am going for being a false prophet. My punishment is to give to you the revelation of what is to come of the tax protester movement.

14. Write, therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later.

15. The mystery of the seven FRNs that you saw in my right hand and of the seven fake gold certificates is this: The seven FRNs are the con men behind the seven corporations sole, and the seven fake gold certificates are the seven corporations sole. "

Chapter 2

1. After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in Quatloosia. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like fingers on a chalkboard said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.”

2. At once I took another gulp of the spirits in an effort to kill the stench of TogaDude, who had failed to bathe once again, and there before me was a throne in Quatloosia with someone sitting on it.

3. And the one who sat there had the financially responsible appearance of IRAs and 401Ks. A rainbow, resembling the colored threads on the newly made FRNS to stop counterfeiting, encircled the throne.

4. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four smartass Quatloosian volunteers. They were tastefully dressed in Brooks Brothers suits and had Crown Royal going to their heads.

5. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits - Jack Daniels, Bailey's Irish Creme, Bacardi, Smirnoff, Michelob, Kahlua, and Creme de Menthe - of Sooltauq, which are quite flammable due to their alcohol content.

6. Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as Waterford crystal, although it may have been Gorham, I was too drunk to tell. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back.

7. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle.

8. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings, so that they could continually watch the tax protesters, militia nuts, scammers, and general-purpose frickin' 'tards. Day and night they never stop saying: “Great is Sooltauq, who was, and is, and is to come.”

9. Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who created the Quatloosian utopia that lives for ever and ever,

10. the twenty-four smartass volunteers fall down before him who sits on the throne, and suck up to him who watches the boards for ever and ever. They lay their Crown Royal before the throne and say:

11. “You are worthy, our great and enduring Sooltauq, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created Quatloos, and by your will it was created and has its being.”

Chapter 3

1. Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a legal pad with writing on both sides and sealed with seven pieces of scotch tape, all purchased at a discount from Office Depot due to an abundance of fiscal responsibility.

2. And I saw a mighty pirate proclaiming in a loud voice, “Who is worthy to break the scotch tape and open the legal pad?”

3. But no one in Quatloosia or on earth or under the earth could open the legal pad or even look inside it.

4. I wept and wept because by then I was drunk and falling for all of this, which by now I knew had to be an alcohol-induced dream.

5. Then the Great Moderator Demosthenes said to me, “Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Quatloos, Joey Smith, has triumphed. He is able to open the legal pad and its seven pieces of scotch tape.”

6. Then I saw a Lamb, which looked more like a galloping green cartoon creature, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the by now drunken volunteers. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits which are popular in Quatloosia and all the earth but which cannot be purchased in the United States without a mark indicating the buyer is 21 years of age.

7. He came and took the legal pad from the right hand of him who sat on the throne.

8. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four smartass volunteers fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harmonica and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the laughter of the Quatloosian volunteers as the tax deniers listen to their gurus instead of common sense.

9. And they sang a new song: “You are worthy to take the legal pad and to open its scotch tape, because you were libeled by the VOF guru, and with the proceeds from Keno as taught by Quatloosian gambling instructions you purchased the entire set of Infamous Tax Protester mugs from Sooltauq for every tribe and language and people in the Federal Zone, which is in reality the entire geographic United States.

10. You have made them to be a kingdom and volunteers to serve our Sooltauq, and they will reign on the earth without fear of levy or attachment.”

11. Then I looked and heard the voice of many taxpayers, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand, which is approximately the amount of damages Mr Modeleski continues to demand from defendants in his now-dismissed AOL lawsuit. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the smartassed volunteers.

12. In a loud voice they sang: “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slandered and libeled, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!”

13. Then I heard every creature in Quatloosia and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”

14. The four living creatures said, “Amen,” and the smartass volunteers fell down because they were drunk, but did so in a way that they appeared to worship at Sooltauq's feet.

Chapter 4

1. I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!”

2. I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider was called Prof and he held a bow such as one might use in hunting during November, which is when the rider is healthiest. He was given a Crown Royal, and he rode out as a conqueror who was classy and polite, yet bent on conquest nevertheless.

3. When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!”

4. Then another horse came out, with a fiery mane of red hair. Its rider was called Demosthenes and she was given power to take peace from the tax deniers by making them paranoid, after they found out she had caused them to slay each other with their words while she watched and took notes for the authorities. To her was given a little blue box containing a jewel-encrusted sword brooch from Tiffany's.

5. When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was called Dan Evans, and he was holding a pair of scales in his hand by which to measure the tax denier's arguments against his All-True Tax Protester FAQ.

6. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “A Quatloos for a day's wages, and do not damage the corks or spill the bottles of Quatloosian wine which is available for a donation to our tax-exempt organization!”

7. When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, “Come!”

8. I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Indictment, and Prison was following close behind him. They were given power over the tax deniers of the earth to investigate them for filing false returns, filing no return at all, hiding FRNs in offshore accounts, general tax evasion, and conspiracy to defraud the United States.

9 When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been libeled because of the word of the constitution, codes, and the current case law they had maintained. Among them were such renowned Quatloosians as Dr. Caligari and his crickets, NeckBone, AndyK, UGA LawDog, Skeptic, Grixit, Cultwatcher, AFTP, Garnet, Mithra, The Observer, Wserra, Duke2Earl, Swabby, Quixote, No Name, wfoos, Lawyer in MT, Blackbeard, Cultwatcher; Cleopatra, and the Quatloosians with the oddest names of all, Brian Rookard and Paul.

10 They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Nation of Quatloosia, great and true, until you judge the tax deniers of the earth and avenge our reputations?”

11. Then each of them was given a polo shirt emblazoned with the Quatloos insignia along with a Quatloos ballcap, and they were told to wait a little longer until the number of their fellow Quatloosians who were to be libeled as they had been was completed.

12. I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red,

13. and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind.

14. The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

15. Okay, that stuff didn't really happen, but it was really scary anyway because, although I didn't agree with it, I actually understood one of SteveSy's legal arguments. That meant that Hell had finally frozen over, and everyone knew it.

16. Then the tax deniers of the earth, Private Attorney Generals, Sui Juris types, Qualified Federal Witnesses, and every fake paralegal and Constitooshunal Skoller hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains, which were not unlike the foxhole in which Saddam Hussein was found filthy and covered in lice.

17. They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb!

18. For the great day of Quatloosian wrath has come, and who can stand?”

Chapter 5

1. I, ElfNinosMom, am the one who heard and saw these things, or at least I think I did but I was pretty drunk at the time. And when I had heard and seen them, I started to majorly suck up to Sooltauq.

2. But he said to me, “Do not do it! I am just a guy with a website who tries to do the right thing by warning people about schemes and scams.”

3. Then he told me, “Post what you have seen in your drunken stupor on the bulletin board at Quatloos, because the time is near.

4. Let them who file fraudulent tax returns and who will not listen to the truth about taxation continue to do wrong; let he who pretends to understand the tax code when he is only a medical transcriber continue to do so, that he may go to prison where he has asked to go and indeed belongs; let him who sues people for having a link to his crappy nonsensical shareware book continue to do so because he will never win his lawsuits anyway. But, let him who does right continue to do right; and let they who file their tax returns correctly and in a timely manner continue to do so.”

5. “Behold, the wrath of the Internal Revenue Service is coming soon! They will give to everyone according to what he has done, and even if they don't, the courts are still there to sort out the mess.

6. “Blessed are those who properly and timely prepare their tax returns, that they may have the right to continue living without any fear of the IRS.

7. Outside are the dogs, those who prepare fraudulent tax returns and help others defraud the government, and everyone who loves and practices greed and falsehood with regard to the laws of the United States.

8. Let him who hears say, “Come!” Whoever is thirsty, let them come to Quatloos; and whoever wishes, let them take the free gift of the water of truth about various scams, and that truth resides in Quatloosia.

9. I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, unless it's ElfNinosMom after she sobers up, Sooltauq will wish upon him the fleas of a thousand camels beneath his armpits.

10. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, ElfNinosMom will make their lives a living breathing hell on earth. If anyone doubts this, remember that she wrote the entire Quatloosian Book of Revelations in about an hour with no effort whatsoever, and while drinking. She is usually sober, so you can imagine the damage she could inflict.

11. He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, the tax deniers will be imprisoned soon.”

12. Amen. Come, tax enforcement agents.

13. The grace of Sooltauq be with the volunteers of Quatloosia forever and ever.

QUATLOOSIAN TEN COMMANDMENTS

And ElfNinosMom came down from the mountain, and upon a yellow legal pad she had written the following commandments.

1. Thou shalt not cheat on thy taxes, by pretending to be a sovereign citizen not subject to federal jurisdiction, claiming to have zero income, claiming excessive dependents, or by any other method.

2. Thou shalt not pretend to be a church in the form of a corporation sole for the purpose of evading taxes, for this is an abomination.

3. Thou shalt not send thy FRNs to an offshore account without paying taxes.

4. Thou shalt not pretend to channel the innermost thoughts of the Founding Fathers.

5. Thou shalt not martyr thyself in a gruesome public spectacle, nor shalt thy pretend to do so. Thou shalt not engage in a death fast unless thy intend to actually die.

6. Thou shalt not hold thyself out as a Constitutional scholar unless thou hath a valid law degree.

7. Thou shalt not make up important-sounding titles for thyself such as Private Attorney General, Sui Juris, or Qualified Federal Witness. So saith ElfNinosMom.

8. Thou shalt not become drunken upon the Kool-Aid, for this is the road to destruction.

9. Thou shalt not make threats against Caesar's lawful servants for doing their jobs.

10. Thou shalt show wisdom and discernment at all times when deciding whether to listen to the de-tax gurus or the trained professionals.

And the people heard these Commandments, and they were awed.

Then ElfNinosMom raised her hand to quiet the crowd and said, those who disobey these commandments shall be banished to the land of the Frickin' 'Tards, where they shall reside forever and ever. Amen.

EPISTLE TO THE FRICKIN' TARDS, CHAPTER 1

1. And it came to pass that there was a man named Bannister.

2. Bannister was a learned man, a man of knowledge. Yet he lacked wisdom and insight, and was thus a member of the group known throughout history as the Frickin' 'Tards.

3. Bannister traveled throughout the land, speaking of his many guns, and the people said, "Here is a man of wisdom, for he has carried guns on behalf of Caesar!"

4. And others cried, "Yet he has forsaken Caesar, and thus is a great man of the people!"

5. And Bannister hid his true intentions, which was to gather gold for himself from the hands of the people who lacked his true knowledge of the Law.

6. Bannister secretly rendered unto Caesar while telling others they did not need to do so. And he went about his deceit with boldness, while Caesar watched, and waited.

7. Bannister came to know another man named Al. Al was not a learned man, but a merchant of great renown in the land of Cencalia.

8. Bannister and Al caused a great deceit to be imposed upon the people of Cencalia, yet the people did not know of this deceit because Bannister spoke many times of his guns, and the people were thus deceived.

9. Bannister and Al caused to be made a videotape of that deceit, which they planned to sell for profit. They said, "Caesar has no authority over us, and we will do as we please!"

10. The people throughout the land were fooled by Bannister's bravado, mistaking his boldness for wisdom.

11. Yet Caesar was wise, and caused to be brought upon Bannister and Al great charges.

12. And so it came to pass that Bannister and Al came into disfavor, in the lands of Quatloosia and Cencalia and beyond; because they had broken the law and conspired to induce others to break the Law.

13. Twelve wise citizens with the power of discernment caused to be brought great punishment upon Al, and he was imprisoned for his crimes. Amen.

14. Yet Bannister caused his trial to be held at a later time so that he could display his learned nature, but first learn from the trials and tribulations of Al how to best hide his deceit and lack of discernment from the citizens.

15. Yet though Caesar had caused Bannister to be accused, Bannister was a bold man who said, "Caesar has no authority over me!"

16. Thus Bannister called out to the people and said, "Come, drink of the Kool-Aid which I have prepared for you! It is pretty Kool-Aid, and Caesar has no authority over you!"

17. Bannister did not tell the people that Caesar had incurred his wrath to be brought upon him, and so the people drank heartily of the Kool-Aid, and became drunk upon its sweetness.

18. Yet being weak of mind and also lacking discernment, some of those people who drank of the Kool-Aid were poisoned by it.

19. And a great cry went throughout Quatloosia, "Why did the people not heed our warnings?"

20. And there ensued a great gnashing of teeth and the Quatloosians tore at their clothing, but the frickin' 'tards still did not listen.

21. Yet Bannister did not care about the suffering of the people, for he had not yet suffered the full wrath of the Law.

22. And the good people of Quatloosia continued to warn the people of the Frickin' 'Tards, but many still did not listen and drank freely of the Kool-Aid.

23. Those who drink of the Kool-Aid shall surely be punished by Caesar, thus saith the Law.

24. Verily, I say unto thee, do not be a frickin' 'tard. Amen.

TOGADUDE INVOLUNTARILY COMMITTED TO PSYCHIATRIC FACILITY

While this will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with Gene Chapman aka TogaDude, his bizarro antics finally caught up with him. I've put off including this information in the blog to see how it plays out, but it looks like he may be there for a while.

Over New Year's weekend, TogaDude announced that he was planning to self-immolate on January 3rd at an IRS building in South Carolina. Here are some excerpts from his blog:

RBC: Jan 3: Chapman grabbed by Police and Shrinks

A few blocks from the IRS Office and a few minutes before the demand time, Gene’s pickup-camper was stopped by a dozen police and he was placed in an ambulance. More details later.

I went by city-county jail at noon and he was not there. Apparently he was in the ER waiting shipment to mental hospital and mental examination. He should be back out in 1 to 3 months. Probably, the police had a commitment order from the Judge. Many Patriots showed up to see The American Gandhi mess up the irs parking lot but he did not show. Afterwards we did not go to a BBQ joint because so many people objected.

Press Release: 1 Jan 05 Contact Gene Chapman

For Immediate Release www.slavefreedom.com

Gene Chapman, the American Gandhi, will martyr himself in front of the IRS office in Greenville SC on Roper Mt Rd, off I-385, on Monday at 10am. The press is invited. Gene's last meeting and prayer service was held Saturday at 1pm in Greenville at Carolina Patriots monthly meeting.

This is the regular monthly meeting of the CarolinaPatriots, a Constitution Study Group based in Greenville for almost 30 years. www.patriotnetwork.info

Gene told Robert Clarkson, the President of CarolinaPatriots, that God told him to do this. "Gene has presented reasonable requests to the tax collectors but they are forcing him to depart this earth with a bang." See his blog at www.slavefreedom.com

Gene is unable to obtain employment due to relinquishing his Social Security Number based on his Christian belief that it is the mark of the beast. The Internal Revenue Code requires employers to ask for a SSN and notify the IRS if the employee refuses. No actual law requires a company to secure a SSN. The American Gandhi has requested the IRS to furnish a written statement to that effect.

Gene has perpetuated several hunger strikes against the IRS in Washington, D.C. and in Texas, and the tax collectors capitulated. Chapman was a student at Bible College at Tabernacle Baptist Church in Greenville. Years ago Gene and Bob Jones of BJU achieved world wide media attention with their billboards concerning the Pope's visit to Columbia S.C.

And here was what he planned to read on the steps of the IRS:

Flee The Wrath Of God To Come.

When I was a little boy, all the preachers within and without my family told me that when the social security number transforms from being a benign number dealing with the Social Security Administration to being an all inclusive control number over every aspect of life, "Get away from it!"

Since September 11, 2001, I have seen this transformation, such that Federal and State laws now mandate proof of a social security number just to renew a commercial driver's license, for example. Bank accounts, credit cards, everything is now tied to the social security number.

As a Christian who fears the 'wine of the wrath of God' (Revelation 14:10) for utilizing a government imposed control number on my ability to "sell" (Revelation 13:17) my labor, I can no longer use a social security number.

For two months in South Carolina, I have sought employment and been outright refused or turned down suspiciously a half-a-dozen times over my polite religious refusal to use a social security number. My savings is now gone, and I now demand from the IRS an answer in writing:

1) Must I have a social security number to have a job and get paid by an average employer in the United States?

2) Will the U.S. Government defend my religious requirement not to have or utilize a social security number when employers refuse me employment because of my lack of a social security number?

The EEOC and the Social Security Administration directed me to the IRS and an IRS ruling of July, 2003 for an answer. The IRS has not responded, and I am dying economically for lack of clarification.

Thus, the IRS will provide me in writing either the answers to my two questions by 10:30 a.m. today or written assurance of a written response to the questions within seventy-two hours, or I shall be forced to take my life at 10:30 a.m. in the IRS parking lot this morning.

Since he had actually sent out a press release days prior to the planned public suicide, and advertised it daily on his blog, it was no surprise to anyone when the cops stopped him on his way to the IRS, and shipped him off to a local psychiatric hospital.

Of course, the lunatics he runs around with put a rather unique spin on this by posting a claim that stated "Christian Minister Gene Chapman Arrested For Living". Um, yeah.

Now, before anybody starts feeling sorry for this guy, let me explain something. He didn't turn in his social security card because of a religious belief. He did it because that's how the IRS was tracking his employment, and they had levied his paycheck because for years he filed fraudulent tax returns. No one has been able to confirm his claims about Bible College or his billboard campaign against the Pope. The IRS has never "capitulated" to his "death fasts". Quite the opposite, in fact. They finally got sick and tired of dealing with his constant bullshit - including saying that the parents of IRS employees were going to hell for raising evil children - and attached his paycheck.

He's not quite such a sympathetic character when you know the truth, is he? That's just part of it. Check the rest of this blog for more TogaDude nonsense.

What was very surprising was that some people had gone there to see a guy set himself on fire, and were so disappointed when it didn't happen that they cancelled their planned lunch at a local barbeque joint.

What kind of person watches a man die a horrible, painful, gruesome death by fire, then eats barbeque? I think Gene's not the only they should have shipped off to the nuthouse.

Gene sent several audioblogs in which he stated that he was converting everyone at the hospital to his way of thinking. He even claimed that the psychiatrist would become a tax protester. Those dreams were shattered when, instead of releasing him as he had assumed they would do, he was shipped off for extended treatment at the state psychiatric hospital. He continued to claim that the psychiatrist at the state hospital was also on board with his beliefs "except the self-immolation stuff".

I think it's more along the lines of not ticking off the crazy guy until you know just how dangerous he really is.

Then suddenly, no one heard from Gene for a while. I'd guess the doctor found out he was still posting his lunacy to the internet via audioblogs, because when he finally did emerge again he said that his phone privileges had been suspended. Since then, he has been sending letters to some guy, who then posts them to TogaDude's blog.

That's when it gets scary. See, a warrant has been issued for TogaDude's arrest. The charge is "reckless endangerment", a criminal offense. It seems that he had a leaking propane line on his RV, discovered the same day he was planning to self-immolate. Is it possible that he planned to blow up the RV? No one can say for sure, but it's certainly within the realm of possibility.

So, what did the doctors have to say about this guy?

The doctors diagnosed me with "Delusional Thinking" because I've dared to dream the impossible dream - The End of the IRS with the self immolation tactic.

They diagnosed me as "narcissistic" because I believe I can change the world and should have the right to see that change.

They diagnosed me as "depressed" because I've fought so many years to get the IRS to respond to my question: "Do I have an income tax liability, and where is it?"

My overall IQ has been tested at "average".

So a guy who plans to set himself on fire in the belief that it will bring the federal government crashing down is a delusional narcissist with an IQ of "average". I think their IQ test must be wrong, since he obviously should have tested at the level of "frickin' 'tard".

If the doctors are right in their diagnosis, it's altogether possible that he did plan to blow up that RV and harm other people. Narcissists are unable to consider others, they can only think of themselves. They're pretty sick puppies. Other narcissists have included Jim Jones of the People's Temple mass suicide and the infamous Charles Manson. Not all narcissists are that dangerous, but some of them are. Of course, delusionals live in a world the rest of us don't see, so they're altogether unpredictable. TogaDude might be quite dangerous, considering what he threatened to do and what they found when they stopped him and took him to the hospital.

TogaDude claims that he didn't even know he had a propane tank. That's interesting, considering that he's a truck driver by trade and had owned the RV for about four years. He was even living in it at the time of this fiasco. He later changed that story by saying he had checked it many times, but there had never been any propane in it. Well, which is it? Did he not know there was a propane tank, or did he check it regularly? Something stinks here, and it's not the propane leaking out of the tank either.

He also claims that what the cops smelled was not propane, but some newly-stained lumber he had kept in the back of his RV several days prior. I do realize that "stain" and "propane" rhyme, but that doesn't mean they smell even remotely alike. Incidentally, the newly stained lumber belonged to his minister, who was one of the people who came to the IRS to see him kill himself. What the hell kind of minister is that?

He now also claims that he never planned to set himself on fire, but only slit his wrists. Interesting, considering that he mentioned self-immolation numerous times, once even referring to walking into the IRS carrying a match and wearing "gasoline cologne". He never mentioned slitting his wrists at the IRS until after the warrant was issued.

Okay, so this is where it gets funny again. He now claims that his desire to self-immolate was due to not having any dates with women. Yet he seems oblivious to the fact that he had no dates with women because he's a freak who wears a toga.

He also says that due to a diagnosis of "dysthmia", he will have to go on social security disability. Hey, wait a minute - I thought the social security number was the "Mark of the Beast"? Apparently not, at least when he can make a buck off it.

Just for reference, "dysthmia" is a low-grade depression. No one gets disability for dysthmia. Lots of people have it and don't even know it. They work and take care of their families, but just don't enjoy life as much as they could.

He also says the doctor stated he might have "a small touch of bipolar". Um, there's no such thing as a "small touch of bipolar". Either you're bipolar, or you're not.

Then again, TogaDude is not known for telling the truth, as I've pointed out many times previously in this blog. He lives in his own little world. He's not necessarily crazy, but he's definitely not sane. He even said that the doctor told him about a week ago that he may not have anything wrong with him at all. I seriously doubt the doctor said that, considering that he's still under an involuntary commitment order.

In the meantime, he thinks the IRS will come to the psych hospital and talk to him about his tax problems. I just don't see that happening.

At any rate, it looks like TogaDude will be in the psych hospital for a while. That's probably a good thing. The last thing we need is yet another mental case going around blowing things up and setting themselves on fire.

TOGADUDE STARTS YET ANOTHER BIZARRO BLOG

That toga-wearin', multiple death-fastin' self-proclaimed exorcist Gene Chapman has started yet another blog at http://PreparingForAntiChrist.blogspot.com. He already has over twenty blogs, so a new one is no surprise. This one is apparently intended for his newest scheme/scam, helping people set up corporations sole.

I previously discussed corporations sole in this blog with reference to Kent "Dr. Dino" Hovind. They are intended for officials of real churches, but some tax protesters proclaim themselves to be a church and file for corporation sole status so that they become tax exempt without going through Internal Revenue Service scrutiny.

It's a shockingly bad idea to do that, incidentally, because to normal people that's known as "tax evasion". Yes, you can go to prison for doing that.

Gene's new scheme, in which he has partnered with disbarred attorney / tax protester Robert Clarkson, is setting up home "churches". That's right, we're talking about individuals claiming themselves to be a church. He plans to charge $1,000 each for filling in the blanks on some forms, and intends to form 508 such "home churches".

I'm not sure where he came up with such an odd figure, but if successful he could gross a cool half mil out of scamming people and setting them up to not only ruin themselves financially, but also to be possibly arrested and imprisoned.

I don't think I need to tell you that there's no such thing as a "home church". Gene knows that. He also knows that it's tax evasion, could even be considered a conspiracy to defraud the United States government, and that he'll almost certainly get busted for it. I'm not the only one who has told him this. Of course, since a disbarred lawyer tells him differently, why would he listen to anyone else? LOL

Gene believes that taxes are slavery, and claims the social security number is the Mark of the Beast. Of course, since the Mark of the Beast would be worldwide, that's ludicrous. Nevertheless, there are a lot of tax protesters who claim to believe the same thing. I suspect that's just their excuse for not using a social security number because in reality, if they did, the IRS would levy their wages for back taxes. Even Gene used a social security number until the IRS started to levy his wages, then suddenly he was screaming to high heaven about how it was the "Mark of the Beast". Most of these guys work cash jobs only or, as Gene describes it, "living off the grid".

Gene himself is now "living off the grid" to keep the government from collecting back taxes. In fact, he's way off the grid, since he lives in a leaky RV in a campground and works one day a week on a cash construction job. When he wants people to feel sorry for him and send him fabulous cash prizes, he'll poor-mouth about going to live in a homeless shelter and eating at soup kitchens.

Yet, despite his apparent status of complete loser and lazy waste of human flesh, he describes himself on his new blog as follows:

Christian Minister Gene K. Chapman, Servant of the Son of ManChapman has been compared to William Wallace, Martin Luther, C.S. Lewis, Nelson Mandela, and is known widely as, "The American Gandhi." The Gandhi community in India and two U.S. Presidential candidates have taken positive interest in his work. He is the leader of the Slave Freedom Movement (SlaveFreedom.com), Co-Founder of the Christian AntiCommunist Party (ChristianAntiCommunistParty.blogspot.com)and is a missionary to the Christian Underground. He has been interviewed by CNN, BBC World Service, "People Magazine," "The Economist Magazine," "The Washington Post," "The New York Times" and various other news organizations around the world.

A search of those publications shows no such interviews. In fact, I cannot even imagine that any legitimate news source would have the least bit of interest in Gene Chapman. To my knowledge, one local paper ran a story on him in the human interest pages when he was doing something bizarre as usual, and he lied to them about his qualifications by saying that he attended seminary. Gene has never attended seminary. When confronted with that lie, he said the reporter got it wrong. I contacted the reporter, and was told that she not only had that comment on tape, there was a witness to the interview. She reviewed her records and stated categorically that Gene absolutely did say that he attended seminary. Furthermore, when the article came out, Gene didn't try to correct it. Instead, he sent her a letter telling her what a great and accurate article she had written.

I guess it never occurred to him that the statement might come back to bite him. After all, even I laughed at his antics for quite some time before finally deciding to investigate his claims, and even then only did it because someone at Quatloos asked if anyone had done so.

Think about it. If Gene were as well-known as he claims to be in his self-description, his "death fasts" would have been big news. Yet, even though he contacted news organizations trying to get coverage, no one was interested. Not even hokey local weeklies were interested in running a story on it. The one local paper which did do the single story on him a long time ago is not interested in writing about him further, and I don't blame them since it ended up making them look foolish for not having checked out his claims. Yet Gene has repeatedly stated that they were going to do a follow-up. At one point, he even claimed that same reporter was interested in doing a documentary on him. She categorically denies that too, not surprisingly. *grin*

The "Christian AntiCommunist Party" is obviously a joke, although Gene apparently takes it quite seriously. I'm not sure how many members it has, but I'd guess they could all be counted on one hand. Its only presence appears to be on Blogger, and as far as I can tell they've never even had a candidate run for Dog Catcher.

I have no idea which "presidential candidates" allegedly took an interest in him. I seriously doubt that any did, or at least not any that we'd recognize. The only one I can think of who may have taken an interest in Gene is also a tax protester as well as a raving lunatic who has been involuntarily committed at least once. See, www.stewwebb.com/.

Gene seems to think, however, that George W. Bush takes an interest in him. I cannot even imagine that to be true.

I also have been unable to find anyone who has ever compared Gene to any of those historical figures .... well, unless you count the times that Gene has compared himself to them. He is not "widely known as the American Gandhi" by any stretch of the imagination. He is, however, fodder for a lot of jokes among those who follow the antics of the lunatic fringe.

At any rate, it appears that Gene will be posting a lot more drivel on his new blog about "giving unto Caesar" (he thinks citizens are Caesar, so we don't have to pay taxes), as well as "kingdom living" (i.e., working cash jobs only to avoid paying taxes).

Incidentally, Gene does have a comment section on one (and only one) of his blogs, http://GeneChapmanTaxCase.blogspot.com. He also makes an occasional guest appearance in the comments section of Frank Buckner's blog http://DougKenline_loserman.blogspot.com known as the "Deadbeat and TogaFraud Show".

He told me on Frank's blog that the FBI knows who I am because I take an interest in him. See, the FBI takes quite an interest in Gene, and he claims to have an "FBI handler". However, in another comment on Frank's blog, he said that we even had his "FBI handler" laughing at him. That's pretty bad considering that the FBI isn't exactly known for its sense of humor.

Anyway, I told Gene that the FBI doesn't know who I am, and could care even less who I am. After all, I'm not inciting anyone to commit fraud. I'm certainly not making bizarre threats against the government and various government officials, which is the reason why they take an interest in him. So I told Gene on his own blog that if the FBI wants to visit me to discuss my interest in him, they'd be more than welcome and I'd even invite them in and serve coffee and pastries. Gene's response? "Fine". ROFLMAO

His newest blog doesn't permit comments, probably because he knows people like me will warn others about him. That wouldn't help him sell any of his "Kingdom Living" packages, after all.

It appears that Gene is a wannabe cult leader. Of course, that was an easy conclusion to reach from the time I first ran across him and realized that he claims to be a minister but lies a lot and wears a toga, LOL.

IS IT REALLY A "DEATH FAST" IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF DYING?

Gene Chapman, the world's only living multiple "death faster", has ended his newest "death fast" as of 5 am this morning. See the entry immediately preceding this one for an overview of the fast itself.

He cited a talk show about Bush's suggested overhaul of the tax system. He says his theologians state that Bush will abolish the income tax, and replace it with a National Sales Tax. I'm not sure why theologians would be an expert on Presidential policy, much less what the President may be thinking. At any rate, Gene claims that meets Criteria #2 for ending the fast, which stated:

(I Corinthians 7:21b): If I can be made free by honorable (White House approved) means, I shall travel Freedom's path. (I've asked for Religious Assylum [sic] from both the Vatican and India.

How very convenient that he included the word "if" in that statement. In other words, he could end the fast on a mere possibility, no matter how slight that possibility may be. And, that's what he did. The President has not formally proposed abolishing the income tax for a National Sales Tax. Congress certainly has not approved such a plan. It would take many years to completely revamp the tax system, and there would likely be a great deal of public opposition since the poor and working poor would then shoulder a disproportionate percentage of the taxes just to live and feed their families.

Not only that, but our children will have to explain to their children that they don't have enough money in their piggy bank to buy the toy they want, because they have to cough up another 25% (guessing) to pay Uncle Sam his share.

Taking candy out of the mouths of babes. Now, that's an idea sure to engender a sense of national pride. Gene doesn't care, though. See, he thinks the President came up with this idea just because he went on a "death fast". Yes, I'm quite sure the President comes up with policies based on what a lone lunatic is doing in a hotel room in Austin, Texas. Rock on, megalomania!

In other words, Gene had an out from the "death fast" all along, and he knew it. He didn't need cold hard facts, he only needed rumor and innuendo of something that may never happen (and probably won't happen). He knew he wasn't going to die, because he had worded the details in such a way that he could always find a way to back out of it.

In other words, it was just another publicity stunt.

Now, how much do you want to bet that this lunatic will find a religious reason why he can't pay the National Sales Tax either? In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess what his excuse will be.

The Book of Revelations states

He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.

I think he'll claim the National Sales Tax is a sign of the Mark of the Beast, and therefore against his religion yet again.

So look for yet another "death fast" on that issue. Problem is, after a while, nobody cares anymore about his "death fasts" because we all know he's not serious about it. Apparently no one ever read him the fable of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". The only thing these stunts are good for at this point in time is comic relief.

Bottom line is that the guy is a tax protester, and he doesn't want to pay any taxes, period. Hell, none of us want to pay taxes, but we do it because it provides us with all the things people like him enjoy for free.

What an idiot. I say send him to India like he requested, one of the poorest countries in the world. Let him live in the slums there for the rest of his life. Then he'll wish he'd kept his mouth shut and just paid his taxes.